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Yeah, of course it happens at times but those are exceptions, but in more cases than not the attractive woman will want to get with a decent looking guy.
OK, you win! No amount of grown women with real world experience can convince you that there is a world outside the one you have created in your mind. Must we continue to flagellate the deceased equine?
This is likely the case, but people posting in here assume personality & charisma triumphs all in the grand scheme of things. The first thing you see is the way they look. It's highly doubtful in most cases that charisma & personality alone will win the woman over unless he has a huge list of things going for him that makes him go from friend zone to relationship quality in their eyes. I just don't believe a very attractive woman would date an unattractive guy just due to his personality alone. He needs a lot more going for him than that.
I think this is where many men miss the benefit of meeting people in activities or hobbies. What this does is allows you to expose yourself to them in multiple contexts. And that is when your charisma, charm, humor whatever, can shine through.
For example, the person I am interested in at the moment I met almost a year ago. I didn't notice him at all. And I'll assume the same was true for him. But over time we interacted, figured out we have loads of stuff in common, similar sense of humor and boom a flirtation is born! But when I first met him I thought we had nothing in common, he is a type I don't generally mesh with in my past experience so I paid no mind. Sure I probably made some assumptions and they were wrong!
Most people aren't street stopping, jaw dropping attractive. But with a little bit of exposure people can grow on you and you can shine through.
What if the guy is 35, unemployed, lives with his Mom, but is attractive and charismatic. Your friends see him as a loser and you see him as the greatest thing in the world. do you acknowledge your friends at all
I think the fact he was unemployed would be enough negative points for me. But it depends. I want someone who has life goals. If he doesn't have any that would have to end things for me. But if he was working on improving that situation and had a plan i would give him some time.
This is probably likely. If she's with at least an average guy it's likely his personality that comes into play. I just don't see how a guy that's a 3 can get with a woman that's a 9 unless he has a lot of money. It's hard to believe that a real attractive woman would get with a guy that's many leagues below her in looks unless he had money. With an average guy I can see personality coming into play though that wins her over.
You can believe anything you want. But the fact is that attractive women do date unattractive guys based on the strength of their personality. You just haven't observed it, that's all. But the fact that you haven't observed it doesn't mean it doesn't happen, and more often than you think.
This is likely the case, but people posting in here assume personality & charisma triumphs all in the grand scheme of things. The first thing you see is the way they look. It's highly doubtful in most cases that charisma & personality alone will win the woman over unless he has a huge list of things going for him that makes him go from friend zone to relationship quality in their eyes. I just don't believe a very attractive woman would date an unattractive guy just due to his personality alone. He needs a lot more going for him than that.
That would just be how it is on the surface for us because it's his looks for me too (though everyone else thinks he's ugly). Honestly, I think physical attraction has to be there too. It is that way for me, though lots of people don't see it that way because they think I couldn't possibly find him attractive.
Last edited by Basiliximab; 10-07-2015 at 03:54 PM..
I would like it very much if the OP would visit my profile and (if possible, it should be) check out the album full of pictures of me. Tell me if I qualify for "attractive" under his personal opinion. Yes or no, it won't affect my self esteem, I have plenty of people in my life who do, so I don't care... I just need to figure out where we're at in terms of conversational footing here. I am no supermodel, but I don't think I'm bad looking, and I've had some people really flatter me on my looks before. Please, OP...go have a look and report back your findings.
...
And then consider that the guy who has me wrapped right around his little finger, to be summoned over for sex anytime he pleases, I would not have given a second glance to on the street. He's very, very average looking.
But I found out he was a musician, and saw he had a good sense of humor and wrote intelligently in his online profile, and he was in the age range I like. So I gave him a dinner date. Everything else came from how he acted, spoke, and touched me. After I had him the first time, my eyes saw a different man and I find him beautiful.
Another one in my life is not what many women would consider conventionally attractive. I love his tattoos and his long hair, but that is not what many women like. Looks or no, we have a TON of common interests, and a deep friendship. We are happy and comfortable spending time together, and have fun sex. He is loving and supportive. He gives me a great deal of what I need. He and I are poly and are dating a couple. The woman in that couple is STUNNINGLY gorgeous to the point where her beauty intimidated me slightly at first. But that is the least of what makes her amazing, because her personality and wit and sweetness of character, and flashes of mischief, and pretty much everything she says and does, is the true treasure. Interacting with the brain behind that pretty face has been the real fun. Her husband is a good looking man, but not what I'd normally consider my "type"...but again, talented musician, common interests, and we please one another pretty well sexually, there is lots more going on there than just some arbitrary "looks" consideration.
None of these people are rich, as far as I know, just functional self sustaining adults. There are dozens of reasons for me liking, and loving, every one of them. But "looks" is pretty much not on the list.
I rank it about at the same importance as a man's um...endowment. If you're not hideous, then we can work with what you've got going on if everything else is good. If you're not tiny tiny, then I can have fun with whatever ya got. If you're not destitute or a financial trainwreck, then I don't care if you're wealthy... Once you're in the broad spectrum of "average"...it's all about who you are on the inside.
Before the manners nannies come at me, this woman cheated on 49ersfan, so that is why he called her bluff.
You know what let them get mad. To be honest, I stopped caring what women thought of me months ago. They don't like my attitude when I say I want to be left alone. But... She's a stranger why should I care what a woman who doesn't have my best interest at heart thinks?
I think the fact he was unemployed would be enough negative points for me. But it depends. I want someone who has life goals. If he doesn't have any that would have to end things for me. But if he was working on improving that situation and had a plan i would give him some time.
I was mostly referring to friends that are/were in their 20s and enamored with looks, or one specific type, even if the guy had zero aspirations. I think most people grow out of that stage, or I would hope. I chased a woman who was not interested in "my type or age" a while ago and I could not convince her one way or another to step it up beyond dating between her more serious boyfriends. Drove me nut for a while, but hopefully I grew out of it
I would like it very much if the OP would visit my profile and (if possible, it should be) check out the album full of pictures of me. Tell me if I qualify for "attractive" under his personal opinion. Yes or no, it won't affect my self esteem, I have plenty of people in my life who do, so I don't care... I just need to figure out where we're at in terms of conversational footing here. I am no supermodel, but I don't think I'm bad looking, and I've had some people really flatter me on my looks before. Please, OP...go have a look and report back your findings.
...
And then consider that the guy who has me wrapped right around his little finger, to be summoned over for sex anytime he pleases, I would not have given a second glance to on the street. He's very, very average looking.
But I found out he was a musician, and saw he had a good sense of humor and wrote intelligently in his online profile, and he was in the age range I like. So I gave him a dinner date. Everything else came from how he acted, spoke, and touched me. After I had him the first time, my eyes saw a different man and I find him beautiful.
Another one in my life is not what many women would consider conventionally attractive. I love his tattoos and his long hair, but that is not what many women like. Looks or no, we have a TON of common interests, and a deep friendship. We are happy and comfortable spending time together, and have fun sex. He is loving and supportive. He gives me a great deal of what I need. He and I are poly and are dating a couple. The woman in that couple is STUNNINGLY gorgeous to the point where her beauty intimidated me slightly at first. But that is the least of what makes her amazing, because her personality and wit and sweetness of character, and flashes of mischief, and pretty much everything she says and does, is the true treasure. Interacting with the brain behind that pretty face has been the real fun. Her husband is a good looking man, but not what I'd normally consider my "type"...but again, talented musician, common interests, and we please one another pretty well sexually, there is lots more going on there than just some arbitrary "looks" consideration.
None of these people are rich, as far as I know, just functional self sustaining adults. There are dozens of reasons for me liking, and loving, every one of them. But "looks" is pretty much not on the list.
I rank it about at the same importance as a man's um...endowment. If you're not hideous, then we can work with what you've got going on if everything else is good. If you're not tiny tiny, then I can have fun with whatever ya got. If you're not destitute or a financial trainwreck, then I don't care if you're wealthy... Once you're in the broad spectrum of "average"...it's all about who you are on the inside.
Sorry for the novel.
You put me on the spot with this. I guess the best answer I could give is that you wouldn't be my type I'd go out with. But looks are subjective when you're in the average range of looks compared to really attractive women where the vast majority of men will think she's good looking. I'd say you're average in looks to me if you want me to be really honest.
I was mostly referring to friends that are/were in their 20s and enamored with looks, or one specific type, even if the guy had zero aspirations. I think most people grow out of that stage, or I would hope. I chased a woman who was not interested in "my type or age" a while ago and I could not convince her one way or another to step it up beyond dating between her more serious boyfriends. Drove me nut for a while, but hopefully I grew out of it
I would hope people grow out of that. I live in a high cost metro. No one has extra cash for a freeloader. :P
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