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Love it! Good for you. He's in victim guilt trip mode. Kick his a$$ to the curb.
If I know this guy, and I think I do he is not in victim mode. Rather he is in preservation mode. He gets loud and angry because it shuts her down and ends the talk right there. If she gets angry back, he will appear to get even louder and angrier. Again, not because he is any angrier but because it stops her from proceeding with lectures or action items he needs to fulfill to get back in her good graces. He just has to sit back for a couple days until things cool down then it's back to business as usual.
OP this guy will employ whatever tactic it will take to keep you from getting any genuine effort out of him but at the same time will do anything to keep you from kicking him to the curb as you are a very comfortable plan B for him. He doesn't want any changes unless he is the one initiating them (ie. he finds someone he considers a trade up to you) It is a balancing act and I'm sure he considers himself a master at it.
Also, if you get serious about kicking him out, he will employ a different tactic where he will appear sweet and start saying how he will change, what an idiot he is for risking losing you, asking you to remember your good times, and how he will fight for the both of you. It is an act. A tactic to do just what I said, keep everything just the way it is...unless he wants out.
I don't know why I am divulging the playbook, but there it is, do with it what you will.
So she would have found out a few years later who he is and would be even more attached and hesitant to dump him? You think a few years later he would have more sex with her, cut the grass better, interact with her child and be more generous and helpful with chores and contributing to the household?
OP said he was GREAT before he moved in. He might have stayed GREAT for another few years if they only date and don't live together. And then what?? Marriage and THEN find out they are not compatible?
They weren't together for a year yet before they moved in. That's not even a full set of holidays. It's pretty easy to be charming for a year. Everything is new. It's when you've been through a few cycles with someone that you find out who they really are.
Which means my ex-BF's wife, whom he met, knocked up, and married within the space of one year, has about 2 years to go before she starts seeing the signs...
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