Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43
She hasn't been doing anything for 4 years. He was gaining experience working in the food industry.
|
We do not know how or what she has done in those 4 years to support him. At all. So from that perspective you have no basis to claim she has not been doing anything for 4 years.
Further how do you get from "I graduated high school last year" to "She hasn't been doing anything for 4 years"? Clearly she was doing THAT for a start.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43
So back to Julia's comment that perhaps the applause should be held for her participation
|
You can withold yours. I am still offering mine. According to the OP there was the 4 years of trying to get the truck
AND 1 first year operating it and making it successful. And she sounds to have put her life - since exiting highschool - on full hold since then to support him and work with him on the project. Her whole life. Her social Life. Her career Life. Even her married life. To the point they are now "in the truck more than at home".
All of it on hold working for a year on this project making it a success.
And you do not want to applaud that? Fine - thats just you and who you are - but I certainly will applaud it and I hope he finds time to feel the proper pride and gratitude for having such a supportive wife - and that he gets to return the favor some day assisting her in getting established in whatever she wants to do.
Quote:
Originally Posted by aliwalas
I actually bolded the part where she did say she try to stay home. Trying to stay home means she wants to stay home.
|
Trying on one or a few occasions to stay at home is not the same as wishing to do so as a life choice or career choice or ongoing matter. Again you are merely assuming that part. It really depends on what she is doing when she is at home - and what she is hoping to do long term. None of which is information we have.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43
She did not state she has other intention about her own career, or even working at home (if that's why she wants to stay home).
|
EXACTLY! She also has not stated the opposite either. She has stated nothing. So unless she returns to fill us in further we can really only comment on what she HAS said - not what she has left out. Which I have tried to do in every post so far - but others have happily simply made things up to fill in the gaps.
Quote:
Originally Posted by aliwalas
She did specifically say she wants to spend time with her friends, as bolded on her quote.
|
Yes. Most of us do. And there is
nothing at all wrong with that. But a few people have made the leap from that to suggesting she wants to do nothing else. She said nothing of the sort. She merely lamented that her dedication to this project means she has hardly seen her friends _at all_ since leaving HS. That is all she has said.
So yes, you are making quite a lot up.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia
I'm not talking about their marriage either.
|
And yet that is literally all the post I replied to mentioned
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia
Eight months is not her "entire life." That's not even as long as a pregnancy.
|
Clearly I did not mean "entire life" in that context. 8 months is clearly not someones entire life unless they are 8 months old. I clearly mean that DURING Those 8 months she has put her entire life on hold. Her social life. Her career (if any). Even her marriage itself has been put on hold for this project.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia
He's not even close to successful yet, not if he can't afford to hire help or ever take time off.
|
We do not know what he can afford or not afford - she never said in the OP. So once again people are making stuff up on this thread that they do not know to be true. ALL we know is when she brings up the topic of hiring someone - he shuts the conversation down. Nothing in that says what he can afford or not. The OP does however clearly say the venture has been "successful".
So she said it was successful - yet you say he is not even close to successful - and she said nothing about what he can afford - yet you are telling us what he can not afford. You are commenting it seems on exactly the opposite of the things the OP has actually said
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia
Nobody starts a business from scratch and becomes successful in a few months. This takes years.
|
Nobody? Really? I would love to see you back that up some how. There have been any number of over night successes in the business world. The OP clearly claims it has been a success. How you seem to have more information on this than the OP I honestly do not know. But until you reveal your channel of information here - I am going to stick only to what the OP actually said. Not what you have invented.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ro2113
Which seems to be staying at home, and hanging out with friends apparently.
|
In your head maybe. Nothing the OP has said SO far indicates that is her plan or goal or agenda. Perhaps it is of course - and if she returns and tells us it is then I will happily conceed the point without any loss of face. But until she says it - you have merely made it up.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ro2113
As one poster said OP was too young to get married.
|
Entirely different discussion that appears to have little to do with the OP - or the advice she is now seeking.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ro2113
Well she's a wife now, she's part of a team. She's also not in high school anymore.
|
It is the Husband that needs to be told that - not the wife. As part of a TEAM he needs to communicate with her about the ongoing exit strategy for her - how long he needs her - in what capacity - and how best they can facilitate her move from where she is now to where she wants to be.
What people in a "TEAM" do NOT do is get angry and close discussions down when the subject is even brought up. It is he - not her - that needs the lecture on how to play in a team.
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve
We do not know if they agreed on starting the truck thing. Maybe the husband never said before that she supposed to help. You cannot start a business and then just expect your wife throwing all her plans away and spends her life cooking.
|
True. And actually there is some suggestion in the OP she might have been misled. Maybe not intentionally I hasten to add! But misled all the same. As he apparently told her the business was seasonal at the start - but when the season passed he diversified.
Now what we do not know is how much of that was done with fore warning - two way discussion - planning - intention - or anything? Did she go with it all from the start when she thought it was seasonal - and then just stoically soldiered on when she found out otherwise? If so - our compassion for her predicament can be yet heightened as that was not what she signed up for.
Too many unknowns here - I can genuinely see why people are rushing to simply make things up - even if I do not condone the practice.