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But if you read the OP's posts, she's not whining and crying that she can't get a job as a dog groomer. She said maybe that's what she wants to do one day, but right now she wants to stay home and have a dog and maybe work on starting a family.
She thought she'd be a stay-at-home wife -- presumably hanging out with friends and playing with the dog now, and then maybe having a baby later -- and now she feels like she's been lied to because her husband wants her to help him out with his business.
Maybe the guy wants to get the food truck going so that she CAN do the stay-at-home thing, but maybe he needs help right now.
I agree. To the OP, I know things are tough right now, but you are helping build a business for your family. I assume you're not getting paid wages like you would if you had a different job, but from the perspective of your family business, you are cheaper labor than hiring someone else. That's why restaurants and dry cleaners and little family-run shops are staffed by kids and siblings. They work for nothing or next to nothing in order to share the benefits and build the business into something substantial. I understand that you thought you'd be at home with a dog and "maybe start a family," but your husband is never home now and money is apparently tight. You just graduated high school, too. Now is not a good time for a baby. Help build your family business with your own labor, or get a job and make some money to offset the cost of hiring someone to replace you. Focus on the long term and invest in your family's future. Food trucks can be very successful, and it sounds like you already have a lot of customers. Keep at it, and good luck!
Work is part of life. Your husband is not wrong to ask you to work, and judging by what you say it sounds like he is a hard worker and very driven. You are lucky to have someone like that, and you should chip in. If his endeavor is successful and it grows into more you will reap the benefits down the road. I married young too, it can be hard but I believe its worth it. I would not trade any of my married years for nothing.
Yes, he sounds driven and motivated, which is good.
The food truck is his dream, though, not hers. Marriage is a partnership, this food truck sounds like the opposite of a partnership.
I know lots of couples that involve a stay-at-home parent. Easily 25-30% of the parents I know one of them stays home with the kids.
But how many of those couples are in their late teens or early twenties? Most people at 20 barely make enough money to support themselves much less a spouse. I'm currently a stay at home mom but my husband has been working in his field for over 15 years so he makes enough money to financially support all of us. If he were only 20 and just starting his career there is no way that we could live off his income alone.
These guys haven't even been married a full year yet and OP's husband has a brand new business so they're not in a position for OP to stay at home right now. He shouldn't have promised her that she could stay home right away but it's also on OP to take some responsibility for her own life.
After reading a little bit more of their story it's clear that OP needs to find a way to support herself. It's sad to me that a young girl is even in this situation. At 19 she should be going to college, hanging out with her friends and making her own money not spending her days doing something she hates and thinking about babies.
I don't know what kind of advice to give you, it seems like you weren't ready for marriage but right now you can still get out and focus on your dreams. If you're absolutely committed to making this marriage work then you have to find a middle ground somewhere. You might have to suck it up for awhile but your husband needs to know that you working with him is only temporary. Sorry to say this but your dream of staying at home isn't possible now. Maybe someday but at this time you have to financially contribute something to the marriage.
For all of the people saying he can just hire someone else, have any of you thought that maybe hiring someone else isn't in the budget right now?
Then he jumped the gun on going into business for himself.
She's his wife, not his indentured servant. She is under no obligation to work in the truck just because she is married to him. He is browbeating her into doing it, and that is not right.
What do you want to do while he is at work?
If you want to get your own job and work mon thru fri that's fine, I wouldn't blame you...the truck is HIS dream, not yours
but if you want to just sit home and be taken care of, I would be mad and wouldn't put up with that
Hmmm. I can't relate to the OP's torment coz her husband's food truck is actually my dream business too.
And her husband won't hire help coz maybe the business is still not making that big yet to pay for a help.
Pretty sure as soon as the business goes big her husband will have the sense to hire help.
in all honesty...how big can a food truck business really go? Is it realistic to think he will ever be able to HIRE help?
Is it probable he will one day become big enough to get a bigger truck, thus serve more people??
I know lots of couples that involve a stay-at-home parent. Easily 25-30% of the parents I know one of them stays home with the kids.
I know of 2 couples...their kids are grown now...neither of them have a pot to pi$$ in and one has been through a couple bankruptcies...running a family/household on one typical middle class income is nearly impossible...god help you if you have ONE kid with special needs or the public schools in your area suck and are forced to go private....ONE layoff or illness can cause forclosure/bankruptcy
She could also support and help her husband's business in other ways that don't require her to be there in the truck all the time. For example, she can do the ordering of supplies and simple bookkeeping from home, which would make his day shorter, since he won't have to do it himself after he gets home at the end of the day.
She mentioned in her OP that putting the business on Twitter, FB, etc was "fun." Maybe she should consider helping out with the marketing of the business as she seems to have enjoyed that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by monumentus
Hell forget her friends - in the OP she expressed the desire to see her husband just one day.
In the OP she also expressed she never gets to see her friends anymore - that she only keeps up with them via FB. Which implies that she wants to spend time with them otherwise, why mention it at all?
Quote:
Originally Posted by monumentus
The support I am talking about is NOT the 4 years - we know nothing about that - but all the work she has done IN the van which we do know about - because she told us about it. And DUE to that support her entire life - career, social and marital - have essentially been put on hold.
THOSE are the things I refer to when I wrote "She supported her husband heavily as he set up a business and got it off the ground to a point it was "Very successful".".
He started getting the business off the ground 4 years ago when he started working in restaurants specifically to educate himself with the goal that he would one day run a restaurant (in this case mobile) of his own. As you say, we don't know how much she really helped in actually getting the business off the ground, other than the marketing of it she mentions. We just know she hates working in it and wants out.
As for her career, marital and social life being on hold. They have only had the truck for 6 months. She wasn't planning to have a career at this stage. She was going to stay home with the dog and "maybe" start a family and "eventually" go to work as a dog groomer or in an animal shelter. So according to her 2nd post, her career goals are still on track. Socially, she wants more time with her friends. Marital - it is not uncommon for one person to have to make sacrifices at one stage in the relationship for their partner. She's lucky she's making sacrifices while she's only 19 and still has plenty of time to pursue her dreams once the business is solvent enough to hire employees.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lucky2balive
What do you want to do while he is at work?
Stay home with the dog and start a family according to her second post.
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how do expect to go through life without working? 
