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OP, it sound like neither of you are getting what you hoped fo in this marriage. You are so young, I think you would do well to move on while you still can. Go to college and get a career for yourself and take your time before marrying again.
You clearly have no clue how most family businesses work.
There is an enormous maturity gap between a 31-year-old guy who went to college and a recent high school grad. Hopefully, she has enough sense to take her birth control pills every day. It's not hard to predict where this relationship is headed.
Perhaps you're right...begs the question of exactly why they were attracted to each other....I hope the OP wasn't seen as cheap labor. She still has the right to NOT work in the business - if he doesn't like it, or he doesn't they can decide how to proceed at that point.
Way too many posters act like he's doing her some kind of favor - lifting her out of poverty or saving her from herself or something? I don't see it that way - he's dragging her along on HIS ride and it sounds like she doesn't like the ride and isn't getting anything out of it.
Way too many posters act like he's doing her some kind of favor - lifting her out of poverty or saving her from herself or something? I don't see it that way - he's dragging her along on HIS ride and it sounds like she doesn't like the ride and isn't getting anything out of it.[/QUOTE]
Nothing?
Rent / mortgage paid, utilities, food, etc. If my husband undertook an endeavor that benefitted both of us (family) I would certainly help whether or not I enjoyed it. ESPECIALLY, if I didn't work or go to school.
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Wow - he is 31 and you are just out of high school. OP, I blame him. He married a child. Yes, you are immature - but hardly anyone is mature enough at your age to get married. You are not the one at fault - he is, for marrying someone so young. I don't know why he did it - my first and strongest guess is he thought someone that young would be malleable and do what he told them to do.
I am not putting you down - at that age, my thought processes would be much the same as yours. When I first read your post, my first idea was to say "Suck it up, Buttercup - welcome to real life". Hearing the age difference puts another perspective on it altogether.
Someone suggested hitting the reset button and getting out of there. Not a bad idea. Get divorced. Go to college. Get your own life. He may care for you - but you are essentially free labor and an eventual breeder. You aren't a partner in the marriage - and may never be - because I don't think he was really looking for a real partner. Do more with your life.
It almost seems you married him to avoid real life (I know! I'll get married and play house!). Time to grow up and decide what it is you really want to do.
Last edited by cheryjohns; 11-15-2015 at 12:27 AM..
Well, Im sorry. I wish I could help. Ok no offense, but I dont think you should be forced to work for him at all. Maybe the finances say differently, but with me, a wife shouldn't be forced to work. So, I feel bad. I dont know why anyone would marry.a girl only for her to need to work. The way I see it, if you're not able to provide for a family..you shouldn't be having a family.
Personally, if my wife needed to work Id consider it a huge failure on my part.
Rent / mortgage paid, utilities, food, etc. If my husband undertook an endeavor that benefitted both of us (family) I would certainly help whether or not I enjoyed it. ESPECIALLY, if I didn't work or go to school.
Doesn't it really come down to this? If my husband was trying to get a business off the ground and I wasn't going to college or work - why would I NOT help him? Of course I'd help him. He is my partner. We are building a life together. But at 19, I was going to college and getting a degree. I wasn't newly married expecting my husband to take care of me while I hang out with my friends and try to make babies.
Hi it keeps taking me a while to read the posts. Ty to everyone helping me
Well honestly we never talked about finances very much before we got married. This is actually his second career. He has a college degree and stuff but the started off in advertising and did that for eight years. Then he left that job and had savings then worked in and out of food places trying to learn how to craft his own iuce cream and sweets. He's actually 31. We met on OKC and dated for 8 months before we got engaged and married
As far as money goes I think I can afford to stay home. What's funny is that he told me he wanted kids right away since it was something he always wanted and he was envious if all his friends who had that. But now he barely seems to be pushing for it. We talk about it but suddenly its not a rush. I mean when we got together he promised he would take care of me and also promised my family he would to and i don't feel taken care of. Also he's not as affectionate either which bothers me and the truck and business gwets most of the attention and I don't really anymore.
He lied to you. A 30-year-old saw a nice, naive 18-year-old in you, blew sunshine up your skirt, and got you to marry him before you knew what hit you. Now that you're married, he's showing you who he really is, a bully.
You might as well call a lawyer now and get the divorce over with.
He lied to you. A 30-year-old saw a nice, naive 18-year-old in you, blew sunshine up your skirt, and got you to marry him before you knew what hit you. Now that you're married, he's showing you who he really is, a bully.
You might as well call a lawyer now and get the divorce over with.
Maybe,
But the OP isn't blameless here. She has repeatedly said she wanted him to take care of her.
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