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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,995,252 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Detguest
35 and roommates in any place but single in NY City, maybe San Fran (overvalued at this point) is off putting, male or female. Even there, weird. You should be successful enough in your career at that point to have your own spot.
Women at their parents, anything past mid to late twenties, and even then should be on a temporary, in between places basis, is also off putting to me.
You seem to value "success" with earnings. A highly unfortunate situation. There are many successful people making 40k and plenty of unsuccessful ones making 90k. I certainly consider myself more successful now doing what I do despite my last position paying about 10k more.
It seems this way, except if you're under 35, or if you live in a place with good salaries and a below average costs of living. However, on the flip side, most men do not care if a woman doesn't have her own place, no matter what age.
Now if a man owns a house and rents rooms out, that's not a bad thing, seemingly, other than that, if a 35 or over man, doesn't have their own apartment or house yet, most Women out there judge that when it comes to dating.
This is one reason, why, I hope I'm wrong. Perhaps, some of these women, need to learn what's going on it a lot of major and popular, American Cities (look at the chart below)?
I don't see it getting better, before it gets worse, so let's be fairer to each other?
A guy may have a nice place and their own condo or house, but, if he's living paycheck or paycheck or worse, or working 60 hours or more a week, just to do so, how is that impressive in the female mind (even thought that shouldn't matter that much either)?
I know about the privacy thing and maybe having to work around romantic times, but, there's always hotels, if you're really that bent out of shape about it.
Because women value security. They don't want a man pushing 40,50,60 years of age and without his own roof.
You seem to value "success" with earnings. A highly unfortunate situation. There are many successful people making 40k and plenty of unsuccessful ones making 90k. I certainly consider myself more successful now doing what I do despite my last position paying about 10k more.
Success a lot of times does go hand in hand with earnings. You can't be successful by earning 0 each month.
I wouldnt mind. I live with my mom and I dont think its a big deal. Its expensive to live out on your own. I would date a guy who lived at home. That doesn't sound to bad.
No you would not. Not under normal circumstances anyway.No woman wants to be anywhere near a dependent man. Especially one over the age of 30. Trust me on that.
You seem to value "success" with earnings. A highly unfortunate situation. There are many successful people making 40k and plenty of unsuccessful ones making 90k. I certainly consider myself more successful now doing what I do despite my last position paying about 10k more.
Well, side stepping your condescension (bolded), I would venture that many people equate parts of "success" with monetary earnings.
Now, while I did say that you should be successful enough in your career to live alone at 35 (you should be), nowhere did I say that money is the only thing that matters in regards to career, or success in life in general. I understand you like to be condescending, and you also need to validate your own decision to take less money to be happier, but it wasn't warranted here.
I have a number of friends who work at Quicken, making bank, but I do not envy their 12 hour work days, plus half day Saturdays, and script like sales tactics. Mindless drone work in my opinion. That is no version of success for me.
What he gon say if she wants to get intimate with him. "Let's go to my parents place" or let's go to the shelter" yeah right. lol.
I like this point you made. Very well stated. It cuts to the meat or essence of the issue. A woman considers and gets involved with a man already in his 30s or 40s or 50s or 60s or whatever and, as you said: "What's he gonna say if she wants to get intimate with him? 'Let's go to my parents place' or 'Let's go to the shelter". yeah right. lol." Or my own addition to this: "Let's go to a hotel or motel every single time we want to get romantic or physically intimate or sexual with one another, to have our privacy". Yeah right, like hotels and motels are a drop-in-the-bucket like $10 or $20 per day or evening . . . in our dreams!!!. Ridiculous!
A RELEVANT TRUE STORY TO SHARE WITH YOU: There was a woman years ago (in the 1980s) whom I'd met while I came to the metro area where my parents lived at the time from out-of-state (and having brought my car along with me) to visit and stay with my parents for 3-4 weeks or so (they lived about 35-40 miles away from that central city in the suburbs) and, having gone to a New Year's Eve party in the central city of that metro area hosted by a female friend of mine who lived within the city (all while I was staying at my parent's house which was 35-40 miles away in the suburbs), some other woman at that large, well-attended New Years Eve party took a real liking and attraction to me. Two or three days later, she had found my phone number somehow (i.e, my parents' phone number while I was staying with them from out-of-town, as there weren't mobile phones yet in those days) and called me unexpectedly out-of-the-blue at my parents' home to ask to hang out together (and she'd said on the phone that she and my feamle friend had a tiff with one another and were tense with one another). I drove 40 miles or more into the central city where we met (not to her apartment that she shared with my friend) and we hung out for a whole day in the city and, while together, she had made it rather evident to me that she wanted me to ask her to bed. After she made this rather clear, I said to her something similar to the following:
"Look, you're are a very beautiful woman. I would personally love to be intimate with you, to make love with you, and do all that fun stuff. It's not a lack of attraction or lack of interest on my part. The problem is rather practical or logistical: That is, I'm staying in my parents' home while here visiting them from out-of-state and they are nearly 40 miles from here. Where are we going to do all this? At my parents' home??? With my parents right there with us? Or are we going to do it at your apartment that you just happen to share with my friend (i.e., a female friend who hosted the large, well-attended New Year's Eve party that I attended and met this woman at) whom you said on the phone, when you called me, that you had a fight and falling-out with? She doesn't even know that you called me out-of-the-blue and that we are with each other together right now. What are we going to do? March right into your apartment that you share with my friend and do it all there in front of her?"
I continued: "And what are the other options for us besides these? To take a hotel or motel room somewhere? In this metro area, that will cost a small or not-so-small fortune (probably over $100 per day or night or even substantially more). What else can we possibly do? Do you have any friends or relatives or associates in the area who can let us use their apartment or home for our purposes? (she shook her head "No" in response). So, in the end, it is not that I don't want to be with you; it is a matter of us individually and collectively having no place to be together that we can have to ourselves . . . unless we are willing to spend a small fortune on a hotel room. And if we want to get together for this purpose more than once, shall we go pay for a hotel room each and every time?" So that ended that hope of hers (or ours) for us to be together in an intimate way.
<End of speech to her>
So you see, even if I did live in the exact same metro area as this woman who wanted to be intimate with me (instead of myself visiting this metro area from out-of-state and staying with my parents for nearly a month while visiting with them . . . and my parents lived 35-40 miles from the central city in the suburbs), if neither of us had our OWN place to go back to (because of living with roommates / housemates or living with one's parents), how can we have a rewarding and fulfilling intimate time together or, for that matter, have a fruitful ongoing relationship where we can regularly just be by ourselves instead of having other company all around us in the same household? What, we should constantly be getting together every day or every other day to be loving or sexually intimate at a hotel or motel??? Yeah, right! Way to go . . . . . . . . . . not!!!
I really don't understand this concept very much at all honestly. If a guy is living at his parents and doesn't have a job and what not, most likely he's not gonna be in much of a position to have any type of romantic or sexual relationship with a woman. I know this first hand.
The part I don't understand is if a guy has a job, and he's living with his parents or roommates for the cost factor. If the woman had a job too, why couldn't said people move in together? It's especially weird about this whole idea a guy can't live with roommates though, and be considered. I've personally known people who are able to have sexual relationships in that situation. I'm pretty sure most apartments have doors, which has something called a lock on it. I mean what, are you really gonna have sex all over in every room just for the hell of it? I mean come on, really. This kind of stuff seems really petty. Most likely anyways, a guy working a low wage job would be more likely to date a woman with a low wage job. A woman who's established in a good career will be more likely to want a guy more in her income bracket or of similar social status.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,995,252 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Europeanflava
Success a lot of times does go hand in hand with earnings. You can't be successful by earning 0 each month.
Sure you can.
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