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Listen, there are lots of red flags that are mostly "Why aren't you a grown-up yet?" flags for me:
Not having own place
Not having a car
Not having stable employment
Not having savings/401k
Not knowing how to cook
Not knowing how to perform simple repairs (car, home, clothes, etc)
Not knowing how to read a contract
Not being able to make decisions with consulting mommy/daddy/passel of friends
Not having given up drunken bar crawls/clubbing
Not having a regular exercise plan
Not having a sensible diet
If you're out of your 20s and you don't have this in place, they are ALL red flags.
so you are basically saying if you want your own living space, no kids or marriage then do not date?.
I do not see the point to do so if you are not looking for a match. But then again, I am a relationship girl and truly hate being alone. I have gotten use to it because it is my reality. But no, I would not choose to date if I was not specifically looking for a husband.
I actually hate dating. I hate trying to put on a good front, dressing nice and trying to make it through an event with a stranger. My idea of dating is curling up on the couch, watching a good movie and falling asleep with my guy. The other crap does not appeal to me. And I don't bring strangers to my home, so dating just sucks.
So yes, I am saying, for me, I do not see the point to date of I am not looking for marriage, kids or the white picket fence lifestyle.
I do not see the point to do so if you are not looking for a match. But then again, I am a relationship girl and truly hate being alone. I have gotten use to it because it is my reality. But no, I would not choose to date if I was not specifically looking for a husband.
I actually hate dating. I hate trying to put on a good front, dressing nice and trying to make it through an event with a stranger. My idea of dating is curling up on the couch, watching a good movie and falling asleep with my guy. The other crap does not appeal to me. And I don't bring strangers to my home, so dating just sucks.
So yes, I am saying, for me, I do not see the point to date of I am not looking for marriage, kids or the white picket fence lifestyle.
Thank you for clarifying your stance, I am glad you brought up the word "Match" my match would be someone who does not want kids or marriage, the separate living space I will admit I could change my mind on, but I know how I am (when i get home from work I need at-least 3-4 hours. to myself, no talking just decompress time and living with someone I am sure that could cause issues).
I have only been on two dates in my life (turning 30 in December) So I cant really say I hate dating, I just haven't put much effort into it.
I do not see the point to do so if you are not looking for a match. But then again, I am a relationship girl and truly hate being alone. I have gotten use to it because it is my reality. But no, I would not choose to date if I was not specifically looking for a husband.
I actually hate dating. I hate trying to put on a good front, dressing nice and trying to make it through an event with a stranger. My idea of dating is curling up on the couch, watching a good movie and falling asleep with my guy. The other crap does not appeal to me. And I don't bring strangers to my home, so dating just sucks.
So yes, I am saying, for me, I do not see the point to date of I am not looking for marriage, kids or the white picket fence lifestyle.
Yet you continue to date a guy with whom you are not going to have kids, marriage or the white picket fence life you claim to need.
Yet you continue to date a guy with whom you are not going to have kids, marriage or the white picket fence life you claim to need.
Well I am done with having kids. I am really looking for someone that wants to step in and be a parent to the ones I already have, with marriage. I already own the white picket fence. Actually more like cabin in the woods, but my happy place.
I have never found a guy that wants marriage to me. Actually the ones I have attracted have not moved on to
marry anyone.
So based on the last thread we had this discussion, I am learning to be happy with the good guy that is only offering what we currently have, as was recommended by several
Posters. Instead of dumping him for the unknown.
Which ironically, bf has made some strong hints to marriage in the last month, but I refuse to attempt to analyze what he is getting at. If he wants marriage, he can ask.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,071,979 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck
Well I am done with having kids. I am really looking for someone that wants to step in and be a parent to the ones I already have, with marriage. I already own the white picket fence. Actually more like cabin in the woods, but my happy place.
I have never found a guy that wants marriage to me. Actually the ones I have attracted have not moved on to
marry anyone.
So based on the last thread we had this discussion, I am learning to be happy with the good guy that is only offering what we currently have, as was recommended by several
Posters. Instead of dumping him for the unknown.
Which ironically, bf has made some strong hints to marriage in the last month, but I refuse to attempt to analyze what he is getting at. If he wants marriage, he can ask.
So, you don't like dating people, but you want someone to just sign up and be a surrogate parent to your kids. No love, no romance, not about companionship and doing fun things, because you have family and friends for that... but a surrogate parent you want to marry you because your first marriage didn't work.
I don't feel like reading through 17 pages, but I popped my head into this thread, and it reminded me of a discussion I heard.
Not like I care for multiple reasons, but I remember hearing a radio show a couple years ago talking about men (of course, not women) still having a roommate after 25. After 25, most of the women who called in and commented on the topic on their Facebook page believed men should be on their own or have their own house by that age. I'm 26 and my roommate is 31, and by being roommates, we have a huge townhouse at a great price, because his aunt was the realtor. He's going to buy a house this year, but it hasn't hurt either of us dating (both taken). But....we're both still renting and still have a roommate, and one of us is in our 30's.
Just curious what people thought about a man, in his late 20's, 30's, etc., still renting with a roommate.
So, you don't like dating people, but you want someone to just sign up and be a surrogate parent to your kids. No love, no romance, not about companionship and doing fun things, because you have family and friends for that... but a surrogate parent you want to marry you because your first marriage didn't work.
I really wonder why this isn't happening.
No I didn't say that. Yes, I hate dating. But I want a partner for me. Someone to go through life with me. Someone part of my team that will help me raise my children. I very much want to love and be married to my best friend.
I have always been a single parent, so it has nothing to do with my first marriage not working out. My ex husband and I are on good terms. I actually called him today and he didn't answer, but he sent me a text within a few minutes to ask if everything was ok. We have been divorced over 10 years.
I don't feel like reading through 17 pages, but I popped my head into this thread, and it reminded me of a discussion I heard.
Not like I care for multiple reasons, but I remember hearing a radio show a couple years ago talking about men (of course, not women) still having a roommate after 25. After 25, most of the women who called in and commented on the topic on their Facebook page believed men should be on their own or have their own house by that age. I'm 26 and my roommate is 31, and by being roommates, we have a huge townhouse at a great price, because his aunt was the realtor. He's going to buy a house this year, but it hasn't hurt either of us dating (both taken). But....we're both still renting and still have a roommate, and one of us is in our 30's.
Just curious what people thought about a man, in his late 20's, 30's, etc., still renting with a roommate.
Outside of super expensive cities to live in, early thirties is pushing it for me.
I live alone at 28, but only because I was done having roommates and needed my own space. If I wasn't fed up with a decade of roommates, I'd probably have them for a couple more years.
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