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I don't feel like reading through 17 pages, but I popped my head into this thread, and it reminded me of a discussion I heard.
Not like I care for multiple reasons, but I remember hearing a radio show a couple years ago talking about men (of course, not women) still having a roommate after 25. After 25, most of the women who called in and commented on the topic on their Facebook page believed men should be on their own or have their own house by that age. I'm 26 and my roommate is 31, and by being roommates, we have a huge townhouse at a great price, because his aunt was the realtor. He's going to buy a house this year, but it hasn't hurt either of us dating (both taken). But....we're both still renting and still have a roommate, and one of us is in our 30's.
Just curious what people thought about a man, in his late 20's, 30's, etc., still renting with a roommate.
I dated someone whose rent was 1600 a month with a roommate. And he had a private bathroom and balcony too. That's how much it is to share a nice place with a concierge in the heart of downtown.
It shouldn't be a deal-breaker in any place that actually matters. Those areas tend to be expensive.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by torontocheeka
I dated someone whose rent was 1600 a month with a roommate. And he had a private bathroom and balcony too. That's how much it is to share a nice place with a concierge in the heart of downtown.
It shouldn't be a deal-breaker in any place that actually matters. Those areas tend to be expensive.
That's pretty cheap actually. A $3200 two bedroom with a private bath and balcony with a concierge downtown? Damn. You're not getting that here.
This was actually pretty common back in my small home town in PA. Unless you were headed off to college, and then to a bigger city, then chances are you would end up working a low wage job and living with your parents. There was not much of a dating scene to speak of there anyhow. You had a couple of the town players hooking up with the only attractive women in the town on a revolving basis. Any woman who was smart, attractive, and ambitious had no reason to stay there post high school. Now don't get me wrong. There were a number of pretty attractive women left in that town. However, they were not too bright and not very ambitious. They got played by the 2-3 town players and often got knocked up which results in the usual minimum wage poverty situation.
I knew a man in his 60's who lived in the same house he grew up in, and inherited that house when his parents passed. It was a very common occurrence in that town.
Rents in small towns are naturally much cheaper than in the big city. But if you're only working part time for minimum wage, then even $700 a month is a bit too much,
Over 35 year old man or woman living with roommates is no problem, but still living at home is a big fat no.
Coming from a woman - women are attracted to men who have some level of ambition and some promise of being successful either currently or at least in the future because no woman wants to live her married life in her mother-in-law's basement. If by 35 years old a guy can't even support himself to the point of living independently of his parents, how is he going to be able to ever afford to support kids?
Even in an expensive city, most adults will live with multiple roommates rather than in mom's basement. Most well-adjusted adults have no interest in living under their parent's roof unless it's a dire emergency. Living with parents after 35 for either gender is a huge sign that that person is more of a child than an adult - and probably always will be.
To be fair, what you find attractive in a male does not necessarily apply to all other women. Men and women are diverse.
I would have thoroughly expected any man I dated to "judge" me based on whether or not I was self-supporting and able to live independently.
And I'm quite sure they did.
Who the hell wants a helpless mate?
So the determiner as to whether a person (male or female) is helpless or not is whether or not he/she still lives at home with parents? That seems a bit narrow-minded (in my opinion). Judging someone as being helpless simply because he/she still lives at home (while not knowing anything else about that person's situation) just seems wrong. The person could be a freeloader, a bum, or some type of anything negative. The person could also be many types of positive things as well.
There's no reason for a man nor woman to be living with parents at that age, barring extraordinary circumstances. You are halfway through your life by then. Get it together.
Only if you plan to die at 70, which is not very old in this day and age!
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
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lol this thread is definitely not relevant in some parts of the country.
Here in Silicon Valley, the median income is 100k USD. (Google pays someone who just graduated from San Jose State University with a BS in Computer Science a salary of approximately 100k, they say.)
That sounds like a lot until you hear that the median home price is ONE MILLION DOLLARS.
(now, that is defining "home" as "single family home", where the home owner is buying the land underneath the building, as opposed to a condo inside of a building containing other condos. But those aren't cheap either.)
A one bedroom apartment to yourself is 1300/month or more. 2000/month is more realistic.
So 35 and not having your own place is frowned upon? Highly doubtful. There are people who make 100k here who live with roommates (in fact, most singles who make 100k are probably living with roommates).
Now out in the middle of nowhere, a small town in north Texas or Appalachia, then yeah, it might make sense to say if you're 35 and live with roommates, there might be an issue. In a big city like San Jose, New York, London, etc., no, that makes no sense.
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
4,375 posts, read 4,085,877 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by patches403
Over 35 year old man or woman living with roommates is no problem, but still living at home is a big fat no.
lol I'm 38 and I'm sharing a one bedroom apartment with my father right now. But -- as much as it makes me feel sad that I've never been in a relationship, and am still a virgin -- I'm not necessarily looking for a relationship right now because I have practical impediments.
Quote:
If by 35 years old a guy can't even support himself to the point of living independently of his parents, how is he going to be able to ever afford to support kids?
I couldn't right now, but then, I'm too old to start having kids. I might do the known sperm donor thing. But not start raising kids. That ship sailed ten years ago.
Quote:
Living with parents after 35 for either gender is a huge sign that that person is more of a child than an adult - and probably always will be.
Not in my case. I served on submarines in the US Navy. I am very much an adult. I just don't have a good job right now. It happens.
If you're an able adult making a reasonable salary, then there are no reasons to be living with your parents or even roommates.
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