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Old 02-12-2016, 01:51 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Just Conversation View Post
My sister, age 46, has never been in a romantic or sexual relationship- according to her. She has a job, a home, a set of friends and lives well. But never has been with a man or a woman in a romantic or sexual way. Is this more common than we would think? Do you know anyone like this?
One of our regular members posted a couple of months ago that she was surprised to discover how many women she knew who had never even been on a date, let alone in a relationship. And we had a new member posting awhile ago that at around 35, she'd never been on a date. I know a few who have only had a relationship or two in their 20's, and nothing since then, not even a date. I think it's a lot more common than we think.

edit: come to think of it, I had an elderly friend who passed away recently, and I don't think she'd ever had a relationship. She was utterly brilliant, but in her youth had "unconventional" looks (the polite term for unattractive). Of course, she'd have loved to be married to someone brilliant like herself, but I think to some degree, it's difficult for highly intelligent women, whether they're attractive or not. There are fewer choices at the far end of the bell curve, intelligence-wise.

 
Old 02-12-2016, 01:54 PM
 
Location: 🇬🇧 In jolly old London! 🇬🇧
15,675 posts, read 11,518,441 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
One of our regular members posted a couple of months ago that she was surprised to discover how many women she knew who had never even been on a date, let alone in a relationship. And we had a new member posting awhile ago that at around 35, she'd never been on a date. I know a few who have only had a relationship or two in their 20's, and nothing since then, not even a date. I think it's a lot more common than we think.
Yeah it's not something someone shouts from the rooftops so maybe you're right

My friends I'm certain of but a few acquaintances.......
 
Old 02-12-2016, 02:22 PM
 
Location: 🇬🇧 In jolly old London! 🇬🇧
15,675 posts, read 11,518,441 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
One of our regular members posted a couple of months ago that she was surprised to discover how many women she knew who had never even been on a date, let alone in a relationship. And we had a new member posting awhile ago that at around 35, she'd never been on a date. I know a few who have only had a relationship or two in their 20's, and nothing since then, not even a date. I think it's a lot more common than we think.

edit: come to think of it, I had an elderly friend who passed away recently, and I don't think she'd ever had a relationship. She was utterly brilliant, but in her youth had "unconventional" looks (the polite term for unattractive). Of course, she'd have loved to be married to someone brilliant like herself, but I think to some degree, it's difficult for highly intelligent women, whether they're attractive or not. There are fewer choices at the far end of the bell curve, intelligence-wise.
RE the edited part.

Yes it's quite conceivable to think that a highly intelligent person would find it increasingly hard to find " their match ", whether or not that's to stimulate them intellectually or even if they are being too picky it's still narrows the market assuming that they of course want there match.........


I myself have known a few in particular a barrister and an investment banker, now you wouldn't need a masters degree to know that they were in a different caste from myself both in education and intelligence wise. if honest culture, literature, the arts etc is not my strong suit ( shock horror ) and it did cause a problem but luckily for the duration of the relationships I made up with " stimulating " her with laughter, kindess and charm etc but that only went so far.

Hence opposites attract and all but again for long term they wanted someone more suited which obviously I understood. They were gorgeous but for a long term relationship apart from there social class I can't picture anyone else getting near them.
 
Old 02-12-2016, 02:37 PM
 
Location: So Cal
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I used to work with a guy a few yrs older than me, he's around 51 or so and I've known/worked with him for around 18 yrs or so and as far as I know he's never had a GF or been married. I don't even think he's been on dates at least from what I know of him. He's a little socially awkward, but not that bad, I often wonder if way back in his youth he got his heart kicked in and never really wanted to go through that again. I've heard people over the yrs say that he say he has high standards and doesn't want to settle, but I think that's just BS he tells himself and others. I'm betting it's fear more than anything else. He's loaded with cash, in decent shape, not an ugly looking guy and all of that. All he seems to have is a couple of friends and work. All he does is work work work and I think he's probably has one of the saddest lives of people I've ever known and not so much the lack of GF, but just his overall closed off nature. I've known the guy for yrs and yrs and he's never says much about himself, just work stuff.

Whatever, people can live however they choose.
 
Old 02-12-2016, 02:53 PM
 
Location: 🇬🇧 In jolly old London! 🇬🇧
15,675 posts, read 11,518,441 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
I used to work with a guy a few yrs older than me, he's around 51 or so and I've known/worked with him for around 18 yrs or so and as far as I know he's never had a GF or been married. I don't even think he's been on dates at least from what I know of him. He's a little socially awkward, but not that bad, I often wonder if way back in his youth he got his heart kicked in and never really wanted to go through that again. I've heard people over the yrs say that he say he has high standards and doesn't want to settle, but I think that's just BS he tells himself and others. I'm betting it's fear more than anything else. He's loaded with cash, in decent shape, not an ugly looking guy and all of that. All he seems to have is a couple of friends and work. All he does is work work work and I think he's probably has one of the saddest lives of people I've ever known and not so much the lack of GF, but just his overall closed off nature. I've known the guy for yrs and yrs and he's never says much about himself, just work stuff.

Whatever, people can live however they choose.
You actually just reminded me ................Of a fella I've known since I was 16 ( started scaffolding ) and this bloke was 40 but you would swear he was 60!, he's never had a bird or has any friends and it's all his own fault as he's a right horrible, miserable little sod so no one could get close even if they wanted to .

Now he's the same and lives for work and unlike what me and Ruth talked about with super intelligence he is the complete opposite............. He has one hobby in the world and that's making motorbikes from scratch and it's the only thing he loves doing. A few years ago he started a project in his front room ( shows he doesn't entertain much ) and it's taken him 3 months to finish it. The only problem was it was too big to get through the door frame and had to dismantle most of it and start again! ( ) LOL.

But as you said whatever it's his choice to live that way but it does make me appreciate mine a lot more
 
Old 02-12-2016, 02:56 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,188 posts, read 107,790,902 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Londoncowboy30 View Post
I myself have known a few in particular a barrister and an investment banker, now you wouldn't need a masters degree to know that they were in a different caste from myself both in education and intelligence wise. if honest culture, literature, the arts etc is not my strong suit ( shock horror ) and it did cause a problem but luckily for the duration of the relationships I made up with " stimulating " her with laughter, kindess and charm etc but that only went so far.

Hence opposites attract and all but again for long term they wanted someone more suited which obviously I understood. They were gorgeous but for a long term relationship apart from there social class I can't picture anyone else getting near them.
Fascinating. Impressive, really. But how does that work in England? I keep hearing that class barriers are alive and well. ....if you don't mind my asking.
 
Old 02-12-2016, 02:57 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,188 posts, read 107,790,902 times
Reputation: 116087
Quote:
Originally Posted by Londoncowboy30 View Post
You actually just reminded me ................Of a fella I've known since I was 16 ( started scaffolding ) and this bloke was 40 but you would swear he was 60!, he's never had a bird or has any friends and it's all his own fault as he's a right horrible, miserable little sod so no one could get close even if they wanted to .
These British-isms are so colorful! lol Good to have you aboard, LC.
 
Old 02-12-2016, 03:13 PM
 
130 posts, read 130,449 times
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I guess I know some people who have never dated or been in a relationship but they have been touched or kissed a few times. My sister has never been kissed, hugged or been in any type of sexual action every, according to her.
 
Old 02-12-2016, 03:19 PM
 
Location: 🇬🇧 In jolly old London! 🇬🇧
15,675 posts, read 11,518,441 times
Reputation: 12549
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Fascinating. Impressive, really. But how does that work in England? I keep hearing that class barriers are alive and well. ....if you don't mind my asking.
There is great great wealth in London for example so there will always be the class difference, however it's not as blatantly obvious or apparent as much as it was from years ago in part to the amount of foreign nationals that are here now. The divide between the rich and poor English has come closer as most that come to England are as rough as they come thus pushing English working class the likes of me into middle class LOL.

But it also works the other way as super rich Arabs/Russians/Americans and now Chinese are spending HUGE amounts and investing it into London, which in turn is pushing the English upper class down a peg to middle class..,......if you see what I mean Ruth?

Naturally the wealthiest areas will host the " upper class " such as Mayfair, Knightsbridge, Kensington, Begravia and Chelsea as another example these are where they live. As for work it's all around " the city " ( basically the financial district of London ) Canary Wharf, bank, St. Paul's etc it's like New Yorks Wall Street I believe.

As for dating erm LOL....... Like i said I've known a few over the years and even my mates used to joke about " lady and the tramp " with which ever I was seeing at the time. But I've had a few incidents where the family didn't approve but whatever we wasn't serious so......

In short I wouldn't say the stigma between the two are as bad as it traditionally was but it's still there in places Ruth.
 
Old 02-12-2016, 03:21 PM
 
Location: 🇬🇧 In jolly old London! 🇬🇧
15,675 posts, read 11,518,441 times
Reputation: 12549
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
These British-isms are so colorful! lol Good to have you aboard, LC.
" Cheers darlin'! "
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