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Yes, she is free to find someone better than me who doesn't have these sort of problems that I do, I'd honestly be happy as long as she is happy, even if it is with someone else. But she keeps insisting that she doesn't want anyone else except me. She once mentioned that if, for some reason our relationship should end, she would just stay single, she wouldn't want anyone else; and I know her well enough to tell that she wasn't joking
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76
I can almost guarantee you that she would not stay single for the rest of her life.
Maybe I'm old-fashioned or I don't know what, but I think that sex is something you don't share with just about any random bloke, it should have at least some sort of meaning. Just my own opinion
Obviously, you and she have very different viewpoints on sex, since as you point out, she had many sexual partners/one-night stands and no relationships before meeting you. So she was very OK having sex with "random blokes," as you put it. It would have been best not to share every intimate detail of your pasts with one another (there is no reason to do this, much less actually meet her previous partners!). Now that you have opened Pandora's Box, if you cannot reconcile yourself to her past, then you need to let her go.
Women slept with jerks often, they do it for several reasons: an interest, attention, pitty sex, revenge sex, or they just want to fool around, their reasons may vary.
She was honest to you in a big way, she could be silent about her past but she confide you about so many things and now your "perfect picture" of this girl has been shattered.
Either you accept her past and live a present with her or just call it quits.
You cannot judge anybody because of the mistakes of the past, let alone judge her for being with "Joe Pesci", the past is the past my friend.
It seems you are letting the past destroy your future, and it´s hard to know why. The "hideous guy" is not your friend, he is not on her life anymore. So why bother?
I think you are dating a very sexually open woman and you are afraid.
So bro, the reality is you don't like that she's been around more than you.
It's fine to not like wild [women]. They aren't good with commitment or self control.
But losing your mind just because you were a virgin before her? Nah man. You just gotta accept that in today's day and age, every chick is going to have been with a handful of dudes. They're human and like sex, just like you.
Just make sure you pick one that has some sort of discretion. It's an unpopular opinion here, like many realities, but even a semi attractive woman can sleep around with ease, and with guys above her pay grade. Pick one who chose not to [bleep] 30 plus strangers.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 02-20-2016 at 02:06 PM..
Reason: Vulgar language.
Maybe this is the OP's thinking.
It's OK if she slept around with guys like or better than me but if she could sleep with someone that ugly and horrible, maybe I'm not all that great either?
Insecurity personified.
Hello, this is really quite hopeless but I thought I'd give it a try asking here.
My problem is this: I'm 25 and I'm in a relationship for the first time.
5 months ago I found an amazing girl, we were an instant match and fell in love really fast. She's pretty much everything I'd want from a girl: she's sexy, funny, amazingly caring, I can open myself to her completely, we can talk about anything; and she truly loves me, and I absolutely love her.
This is also the first relationship for her, but unlike me, she's had many sexual partners before, pretty much one-night-stands. Now, I'm okay with that, I'm not self-conscious about her having quite a few past partners; I'm well endowed and I learned quickly how to pleasure her, she keeps saying how amazing I am and that I'm by far the best she's ever had and she wouldn't want anyone else except me.
But there's one thing I can't get over. She has slept twice with a guy who she doesn't even like in any way or form. Now, when she first talked about it, I thought that the guy was just a jerk, but at least a handsome one or had some other good qualities about him that would make him attractive. But I happened to meet the guy about 2 months ago, and as stupid as it sounds, my world pretty much shattered at that point. The guy was below-average looking, about 18 years older than her, and overall just...pointless, revolting even, there was absolutely NOTHING attractive about him; and it's not only my own subjective opinion, my GF said she thinks the same.
The reason why she slept with him was that she was going through a tough time, trying to find someone who'd love her but always ending up being exploited, used for sex; and that guy, as ugly and unattractive as he was, was the only one who seemed to pay attention to her at that time, so I guess it somewhat alleviated her pain...But that guy was just like all the others, he just exploited her desperate situation.
Now, I get it, I understand why she did it; she's also told me that she regrets sleeping with that guy. And I know that it shouldn't matter what she's done in the past as long as she's learned from her mistakes and she won't do it again. But as hard as I've tried for the past 2 months, I just can't, for the life of me, get over the fact that my sweet lovely girl has slept with someone as hideous and pointless as that guy, that she has given herself to a stupid jock like that to just use and [bleep]. I want to get over it, I really do, but I.just.can't.
I've read that guys who've had little previous sexual experience have a hard time coping with their GFs having a lot of sexual partners in their past, and something like this is probably happening with me too it seems. Or I'm not just mature enough to appreciate a wonderful woman for what she is now, rather than what she was before...But I get this thought almost every day: my lovely girl [bleep] by that worthless old bastard who shouldn't have any business near a girl like that (yes, I'm also jealous it seems); and it hurts, it hurts so god damn much, I can literally feel something cramp up in my chest. My love for her grows with every day, and the more I love her, the more that thought hurts...And I'm at a point where I feel I just can't go on, I can't get over this stupid thing, no matter how much I try to explain to myself that it doesn't matter what she's done in the past...Apparently it DOES matter, finding excuses and explanations doesn't change that fact that she's done it.
I've tried for the past 2 months to change my views on this matter, and nothing so far has worked. I just feel that she has ruined herself with her actions in the past and nothing can rewind the time. Every day I find myself wishing it was just a bad dream that she has done something like this...Am I a horrible and judgemental bastard for thinking like that? Is there any hope that this feeling will go away?
I really don't know what to do anymore. I can't leave a girl who I love and who loves me so dearly, but I also can't go on with this stupid thought tearing me up inside almost every single day...It's like some stupid kind of jealousy mixed with other emotions that I haven't managed to figure out yet - I feel that the fact that worthless bastard slept with my GF makes him comparable with me, which he clearly is not (he is not only an ugly looking and, for the lack of a better describing word - just a stupid jock, he also exploits other people around him and is just an overall worthless human being, again not only my own personal opinion, but others people's too).
She needs to shut up about her past, and you may have to tell her that, too. Make her know that she needs to SHUT UP about these things and she needs to do it RIGHT NOW.
You have no right to know these things and she has no right to tell you. You are about to find out just how much she cares about you.
This is also the first relationship for her, but unlike me, she's had many sexual partners before, pretty much one-night-stands.
How old is she? That's a bad sign...
I would not date a girl with that background.
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