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I dated a military man. I met him in college before he was in the military.
Military men are really no different than other men in that they have different personalities, goals, and even body types. My military guy wasn't buff. He was in good shape but he was an IT person and kind of geeky.
So your stereotype of military men is kind of cartoonish. They aren't all like the idea you are expressing here. You seem to be in love with the idea of the type of man you want and it's not fair to any man to expect him to live up to that romantized ideal you are creating.
For what it's worth the deployments killed the relationship. He cheated when we were apart. We actually remained friends though because we'd been frinds before in college. I still talk to him every now and then.
Gab, honey, how many times do we have to have this conversation?
You have a blank that you now think you want a "military man" to fill. Again, the issue here is all within you. It's about the lack in your life that you **think** a certain type of person, who you may or may not find, will fill up.
This kind of quest, though, usually ends in pain because you are not REALLY searching for a quality person but for a band-aid to heal your pain.
Do what countless people here have suggested and FIX YOURSELF. Focus on the job, make smart decisions, continue therapy and heal YOURSELF, THEN you will be in a better position to choose a life partner instead of throwing darts.
I am just freaking out so bad. I graduate in 48 days, I passed the exam that I've been working towards since I started school. I have no where else to focus. I'm an adult, I'm about to find a job and live on my own and work. I still haven't accomplished any of what I wanted. I'm 25 still unmarried still not pregnant and it was supposed to happen while I was in school that was my perfect time to meet someone and I didn't now what am I going to do? I just saw 3 baby announcements and 2 engagements this weekend from people my age and younger
But I'm not that girl. I am not looking for military men for any gains other than marriage and babies in 6 months to a year
That makes you EXACTLY that girl. You sound like you consider your wants more noble than the women who want a ONS or something, but the point is the same: you only appear to be concerned with one, superficial thing and you're making the rest of the assumptions about them as a person based on that one thing.
I still haven't accomplished any of what I wanted. I'm 25 still unmarried still not pregnant and it was supposed to happen while I was in school that was my perfect time to meet someone and I didn't now what am I going to do? I just saw 3 baby announcements and 2 engagements this weekend from people my age and younger
I just saw 3 baby announcements and 2 engagements this weekend from people my age and younger
See, that's ^^^ the trigger for you.
Life is going to happen around you, Gab, and you HAVE to get better at dealing with it. We have told you time and again that you are the one putting all this pressure on yourself. No one else is telling you when it is "supposed" to happen. That's all you.
The harsh reality is that you have this cerebral palsy to deal with, so it is of course (and unfortunately) going to put some more barriers in your path than your friends have to deal with. So comparing yourself to your friends who DON'T have CP is a complete and total waste of time.
Why can't you just accept and understand that your life is not going to look like every other 25-year-old girl's?
Take a breath and think for a moment that your life could be just as great, but may not happen on the exact same timeline.
You could STOP freaking out by changing your outlook, but at this point it's almost like you enjoy the emotional chaos.
Last I'm going to say on the matter, as I don't think anything else will have much impact:
OP, you are an absolutely PRIME target to be taken advantage of my men who would be inclined to use you, sexually or otherwise. In my younger, less moral days, I would have been drawn to the blinking light above your head.
Life is going to happen around you, Gab, and you HAVE to get better at dealing with it. We have told you time and again that you are the one putting all this pressure on yourself. No one else is telling you when it is "supposed" to happen. That's all you.
The harsh reality is that you have this cerebral palsy to deal with, so it is of course (and unfortunately) going to put some more barriers in your path than your friends have to deal with. So comparing yourself to your friends who DON'T have CP is a complete and total waste of time.
Why can't you just accept and understand that your life is not going to look like every other 25-year-old girl's?
Take a breath and think for a moment that your life could be just as great, but may not happen on the exact same timeline.
You could STOP freaking out by changing your outlook, but at this point it's almost like you enjoy the emotional chaos.
I know that life happens differently for everyone. Its just that this is ALL I want like I would sacrifice everything else I just want to be married and have a family. It's unfair that I have to have CP and deal with this because I didn't ask for this life
Last I'm going to say on the matter, as I don't think anything else will have much impact:
OP, you are an absolutely PRIME target to be taken advantage of my men who would be inclined to use you, sexually or otherwise. In my younger, less moral days, I would have been drawn to the blinking light above your head.
Do you mean because I'm naive or because I'm desperate
Do you mean because I'm naive or because I'm desperate
Desperate. I don't know you well enough to accuse you of being naive, but the desperation shows. I'm not trying to be mean, really....I swear it's constructive!
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