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How is that conclusion derived? It is the foundation of the premise of the post. Without substantiation the point is lost and pointless.
Truly. Based on my own observations and experiences, I've seen as many people advocating non commitment as commitment.The selfish take , not sharing ones life with another, is pretty common, though I'm not going to cite percentages. Lol, if citing a percentage as large as 99.9, I'd say that requires corroberation, to say the least.
Last edited by NVplumber; 05-31-2016 at 06:42 PM..
For most normal people (e.g., people who are emotionally intelligent and do not depend on forums to validate them or solve their issues), meeting the right person comes first and the desire for a relationship comes after.
Don't pay attention to the sad sacks who come here looking to "get a girlfriend" or who "need a relationship." They are doing it entirely wrong/backwards and will be largely unsuccessful.
It's actually hilariously ironic that someone starts a thread complaining about how society's expectations are "telling" people how to live their lives...and then proceeds to directly tell people how they should live their lives.
From the OP: "And if you really want a relationship...fine. If that's what makes you happy, cool."
Quote:
I do think that sometimes people on here get very narrow ideas of what constitutes normal experience in this realm and then claim it's gospel. And I also think that if trying to engage in this dating/relationship process is self-destructive, the answer is just to back off and find what makes you happy (and I am actually someone who has done just that). But there are tons of people out there who thrive in the conventional dating environment, and it's pretty foolish to say that all of them are wrong or part of a problem.
And that is just online dating direct revenue. Not to mention all the sex in advertising, the card and jewelry companies, the pandering to couples for restaurants, vacations etc.
We live in a sexual society based on coupling and relationships. Anyone who sees otherwise is blind. I guess next you'll be telling me society doesn't tell overweight people to lose weight at all
Truly. Based on my own observations and experiences, I've seen as many people advocating non commitment as commitment.The selfish take , not sharing ones life with another, is pretty common, though I'm not going to cite percentages. Lol, if citing a percentage as large as 99.9, I'd say that requires corroberation, to say the least.
Ah, when did I say anything about "commitment"? "Relationships" can last anywhere from an hour to fifty years.
And I guess you NEVER see sexualization in the media or here peers encouraging one another to "get laid" and have NEVER seen romance used to sell a product and have NEVER heard a family member ask why another member of the family doesn't have an SO
Ah, when did I say anything about "commitment"? "Relationships" can last anywhere from an hour to fifty years.
And I guess you NEVER see sexualization in the media or here peers encouraging one another to "get laid" and have NEVER seen romance used to sell a product and have NEVER heard a family member ask why another member of the family doesn't have an SO
Psst...the reason advertisers uses romance and sex to peddle products is because those things appeal to their audience. The advertisers aren't creating the interest in sex and romance; they are appealing to something that is already there.
Psst...the reason advertisers uses romance and sex to peddle products is because those things appeal to their audience. The advertisers aren't creating the interest in sex and romance; they are appealing to something that is already there.
Exactly, because 99% of society is appealed by romance and sex and all that crap, like I said. And that society puts pressure on those of us who aren't through things like advertising.
Exactly, because 99% of society is appealed by romance and sex and all that crap, like I said. And that society puts pressure on those of us who aren't through things like advertising.
That is my point
Advertisers pressure us all. Just don't buy anything you don't want.
I have heard from countless people who tell me that they need x,y and z in relationships and that they have to "get laid" and have to have the "girl" or "boy" etc...and when I see them in a relationship, they always seem miserable.
And it gets even worse with marriage: so many people in loveless marriages who can't stand each other and seem to just be going through the motions in life. I can't help but think that these people simply followed society's expectations and not what their actual desires are telling them.
Honestly, step aside and sit somewhere quiet and alone and ask yourself: what do I WANT Not "what will my friends think" or "what is my family telling me" or even "what does my shrink say," but what do YOU want. The answer will most likely surprise a lot of people.
Let's say you were to cast aside all rules but these three: 1) don't hurt anyone or their property 2) don't do anything ridiculously illegal ( I say "ridiculously" because of things like jaywalking) and 3) do what YOU want to do, where would you be relationship wise?
Honestly: just like so much of why people "crash diet" when they aren't even fat is societal pressure, how much of people spending late nights on dating sites is "societal pressure" to "find someone" as opposed to a real desires within themselves to do so?
If more people were brutally honest I think more would make the same choice I have: celibacy. When I sit down and think about it, I don't want a girlfriend or sex or any of it. I just want to be alone with my cat and I want to travel the world. When I sit down alone I think that I would rather hike the entire Pacific Crest Trail or see Japan than deal with relationship drama. And as for sex, honestly, masturbation is easier for me and I was never a big fan of sex with a person anyway.
And if you really want a relationship...fine. If that's what makes you happy, cool. But it is just depressing to see 99.9% of society just accept blindly that they NEED "love" when it isn't even their own voice telling them that.
And so much of society seems to be hellbent on saying EVERYONE needs a relationship and sex to be happy. Therapists, the media etc are all trying to sell us on this idea that every single human being needs "love" to be fulfilled and if you don't, there is something wrong with you. No, being inauthentic is the only thing "wrong" with someone, not realizing that there are better things to do than try to be compatible with someone else.
Ever think that maybe, just maybe, you would be better off on your own, but there is something outside yourself stopping you?
I would welcome a relationship and what society says has little to do with it. I think there is something special about a bond with two people.
Sure life can be fulfilling alone. I've been walking that path for some time now and know all about it. I've had a lot of freedom. It's a lonely road though. A relationship is about focusing on someone other than yourself.
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LMAO
When did I even hint that that was my belief?
