Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Well, they are involved I am sure. But the kids live with their mothers most of the times. Sure, fathers are probably doing something to help out, but they are in no way restricted as much as moms.
Whats so insulting anyway? Its just a term for many things that people deal with, whether its emotional, psychological or whatnot
Great! So then you won't mind my saying these men absolutely do have baggage. If they are involved, as you say, then FOR YEARS in most cases, they will:
* be answerable to the ex-wife, constantly, as regards the children.
* have dates interrupted with either angry or urgent or just "clue-in" phone calls from the ex, again, regarding the children.
* have child support payments.
* may have alimony payments.
* may be bitter over the whole process (and it shows...I've dated them...I know...and BTW, this is a generalization about potential baggage and not applicable to every divorced father, before anybody freaks out and hops all around angrily).
* will need to TRY to keep his dating life apart from his children but will ultimately have to have the children meet, and probably torture, the "new woman" whom the kids see as supplanting Mom in Dad's eyes.
* may have a drastically reduced financial situation due to the divorce.
* may be subpoenaed by a spiteful or simply fed-up ex-wife for a whole variety of reasons...late support, increased support, disagreements over the holidays and more.
* will probably have to work longer hours than ever to support his children plus his new "single" lifestyle, even if that lifestyle isn't luxurious and confines him to a tiny apartment.
* is no spring chicken by that point (middle age) and is cracking under the strain, meanwhile desperately trying to prove he's so hip and "young" that he can "pull the 20-something hotties."
* is taking his impotent anger toward "the system" that "stole his kids and allows his ex soooooooooo much of HIS money" out on his unsuspecting dates, who better not expect the princess treatment from him! OH NO, he's NOT going to be that chump...ever again!
...and so on.
You want to worry about inheriting baggage via dating? Try dating single fathers rather than single mothers. You're welcome.
Based on basic stats, there are supposedly more men than women among 25-35 crowd. But what makes it a real bummer is that there are WAY too many single mothers. And it makes sense. When couples split up the mothers typically take the kids while dads pay their way out and easily re-enter the dating pool.
It seems like a third of women online these days are carrying baggage from prior relationships. Which means that attractive women without kids end up getting the most attention and there is probably 5 comparably good looking guys for every attractive woman.
Any thoughts? The numbers are complete guesses, but you get the idea..
Well, I dont think 25-30 is middle aged.
I think for every single mother there is a single father, maybe several.
If a couple does not have shared visitation, father generally gets the kids on weekend when people normally go on dates.
If by baggage you mean kids, again for every single mother there is a single father or fathers.
I think I dont understand how your theory results in dating being harder for middle age men.
Or are these single fathers simply abandoning the children after the divorce, hence voila, no baggage "carried" from previous relationships?
If the fathers are still involved in the children's lives (they'd better be!) then THEY HAVE BAGGAGE TOO, the identical baggage you're referring to (insultingly) when discussing these mothers. OTOH, if the fathers aren't involved in the children's lives, they're piece of garbage abandoners, hence, no catch themselves, in any way, and very damaged.
Evidently, when couples with kids split up, it only produces a glut of single mothers. Not single fathers. It's like magic.
Or are these single fathers simply abandoning the children after the divorce, hence voila, no baggage "carried" from previous relationships?
If the fathers are still involved in the children's lives (they'd better be!) then THEY HAVE BAGGAGE TOO, the identical baggage you're referring to (insultingly) when discussing these mothers. OTOH, if the fathers aren't involved in the children's lives, they're piece of garbage abandoners, hence, no catch themselves, in any way, and very damaged.
I can tell you an issue, where the OP is discussing the issue that women have, my brother had.
My brother had a younger girlfriend and they had a son together. My brother was divorced and his ex wife had custody of their 3 daughters and he was getting them either every weekend or every other weekend. At the time, my brother and his girlfriend had their ups and downs, but they were working fairly well as a couple. Well, the ex-wife gets arrested for drug possession and the 3 girls are now under the custody of my brother 24/7. The household went from 3 Sunday through Thursday, to 6, 7 days a week. Their relationship was on borrowed time from that very moment. Having those many kids in the house wasn't what my brother's girlfriend planned for, and when that happened, she started paying closer attention to things that really started to annoy her about my brother. She fell out of love with my brother during that time.
I'm not bashing single mothers or single fathers, but it adds another layer of stress to relationships if you're not fully prepared to assume to the role. Just like with my brother's ex girlfriend. She was looking at the situation as a full house every other weekend or every weekend at most, and the situation turned into a full house every single day. The stress just became too much for her.
I know single mothers who have had no trouble dating themselves. These women tend to be heavily involved in their church, where it seems like most of the women always know a good single man to set them up with.
Well you're making some pretty extreme unfounded assumptions.
I said a THEORY. I am not speaking the ultimate truth. Thats why posted this - so that other bitter folks could come on here and express how much of an a##hole I really am.
I said a THEORY. I am not speaking the ultimate truth. Thats why posted this - so that other bitter folks could come on here and express how much of an a##hole I really am.
How could we possibly do that? We don't know you, you are so new.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,217,572 times
Reputation: 40641
Quote:
Originally Posted by VanMarlton
I said a THEORY. I am not speaking the ultimate truth. Thats why posted this - so that other bitter folks could come on here and express how much of an a##hole I really am.
Yeah, you said theory on why dating is harder... but where does the premise come from that it is harder? Harder than what, than for women? Where does the impetus for the theory come from?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It's like magic.
