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All this nonsense about "does dating get easier / harder...." most the time people bat in the same league their whole lives until they've aged so much that they can't.
Some people think they're doing better later, but their standards likely changed.
Obviously there are exceptions like people that got into shape later in life, drastically changed something about themselves, etc
There is almost certainly some other factor at work here that we can't know about, who knows what it is, but you have this same complaint over and over again in other people's threads, Mr. P. We've told you over and over again that you are nice-looking and you know there are men out there who are very very average at best, and not above-average intelligence or with superlative jobs, who have dates, so only you can know, or may be able to figure out what the problem is. We can't know. We've all tried every suggestion, as far as I've seen. I don't know how to help you, you REALLY need to speak to someone *neutral* whom you can speak to *in real life*, who can watch and listen to you speak, and hear what it is you have to say, and see you not in a picture but in a real scenario, to maybe help you.
I don't want to be a wannabe mod but you seem to keep hopping into other people's threads to complain about yourself, then, whatever answers people try to give, you refute each and every one and it becomes "your" thread and the original intent is lost.
I don't want to be mean as I truly feel for you but you're accomplishing nothing by this and you have made it so clear, so many times that absolutely nobody around here can help you and we're all wrong about everything regarding you and your situation so I don't know why you continue to hijack threads anyway presumably to get advice. It frustrates me and makes me sad to keep seeing you say the same things, keep saying our replies are all wrong for you, but you just repeat it all later. This isn't working. Life's short! Do what works, don't grind your wheels.
All this nonsense about "does dating get easier / harder...." most the time people bat in the same league their whole lives until they've aged so much that they can't.
Some people think they're doing better later, but their standards likely changed.
Obviously there are exceptions like people that got into shape later in life, drastically changed something about themselves, etc
I know an awful lot of great guys who were late bloomers, so to speak, especially socially but also just in the areas of growing up/maturing both emotionally and physically. Something does change. You go from being a middle-school mentality leg-humping overanxious horny young dude who thinks women are objects and can't figure out why they're running from that mentality, to someone thoughtful, more reasonable, has somewhat deeper goals than scoring the super-hottie everybody else wants and perfecting your fart-lighting while simultaneously leveling up your Dark Elf Mage as well as becoming someone who has learned a social grace or two and figures out how to dress himself and voila. Dates.
I know an awful lot of great guys who were late bloomers, so to speak, especially socially but also just in the areas of growing up/maturing both emotionally and physically. Something does change. You go from being a middle-school mentality leg-humping overanxious horny young dude who thinks women are objects and can't figure out why they're running from that mentality, to someone thoughtful, more reasonable, has somewhat deeper goals than scoring the super-hottie everybody else wants and perfecting your fart-lighting while simultaneously leveling up your Dark Elf Mage as well as becoming someone who has learned a social grace or two and figures out how to dress himself and voila. Dates.
A lot of adjectives to say that men grow up and do better. Alert the presses.
If we're gonna flip that coin I'd imagine the women who stop getting drunk ever other night, partying till 2am, posting half naked selfies on instagram and keep wondering why the guys with their lives together won't stick around for more than a few jumps in the sack also do much better when they develop deeper goals than attention seeking and hawt guys.
There is almost certainly some other factor at work here that we can't know about, who knows what it is, but you have this same complaint over and over again in other people's threads, Mr. P. We've told you over and over again that you are nice-looking and you know there are men out there who are very very average at best, and not above-average intelligence or with superlative jobs, who have dates, so only you can know, or may be able to figure out what the problem is. We can't know. We've all tried every suggestion, as far as I've seen. I don't know how to help you, you REALLY need to speak to someone *neutral* whom you can speak to *in real life*, who can watch and listen to you speak, and hear what it is you have to say, and see you not in a picture but in a real scenario, to maybe help you.
I don't want to be a wannabe mod but you seem to keep hopping into other people's threads to complain about yourself, then, whatever answers people try to give, you refute each and every one and it becomes "your" thread and the original intent is lost.
I don't want to be mean as I truly feel for you but you're accomplishing nothing by this and you have made it so clear, so many times that absolutely nobody around here can help you and we're all wrong about everything regarding you and your situation so I don't know why you continue to hijack threads anyway presumably to get advice. It frustrates me and makes me sad to keep seeing you say the same things, keep saying our replies are all wrong for you, but you just repeat it all later. This isn't working. Life's short! Do what works, don't grind your wheels.
Well, for one, I'm not "hopping" on anyone's thread. The thread is about middle-aged men having difficulty dating. I think I firmly fall in that category. IME, it hasn't gotten any easier like many purport here, and while my goals might be a bit different than the OP, I'm running up against the same wall. Frankly, I think his expectations, and moreover patience is a bit short, (living rural is probably doing him no favors either), but I will defend him through my experiences of "being halfway decent looking (I believe I am) and somewhat successful in my career" isn't a magic bullet. Let's keep the perspective online to negate any bizarre quirks that may or may not exist... we should be getting SOMETHING according to all those who claim it's a breeze for "professional guys who haven't let themselves go".
As for a neutral party, I gone down that route. Had a life coach for a while. He, like my friends, are a bit bewildered why I get proverbial tumbleweeds in the dating department. I've run out of lifelines so to speak. I guess the next step is to get people to write my profile by committee because I obviously don't get how to do it right.
A lot of adjectives to say that men grow up and do better. Alert the presses.
If we're gonna flip that coin I'd imagine the women who stop getting drunk ever other night, partying till 2am, posting half naked selfies on instagram and keep wondering why the guys with their lives together won't stick around for more than a few jumps in the sack also do much better when they develop deeper goals than attention seeking and hawt guys.
Well, yes. Exactly. (shrug)
No need for the "flip the coin" a-ha drama here. I mean this is obvious. You really can't miss it. Not sue if you thought you made a point, LOL, but the point was already made. People DO change. They grow up.
I haven't read much of this thread. Please tell me you were quoting the OP, at least thematically, when you wrote "scored amazing women".
No, I Never used those words in my own writing. But I'm definitely happy you feel better.
You know some people on here are so way off on what I was saying in this thread that is just not worth trying to explain.
Like I was saying elsewhere, I see tons of women that I want to approach in every day life but they are all married. That's what you get for living in the rural area.
I talk to very attractive women online but it rarely leads anywhere because of the paradox of choice. They have no problem of holding out for someone better. whether or not they even go out on dates is not known. They get tons of messages I'm sure and it is a known psychological phenomenon that the greater are the options the harder it is to choose.
No, I Never used those words in my own writing. But I'm definitely happy you feel better.
You know some people on here are so way off on what I was saying in this thread that is just not worth trying to explain.
Like I was saying elsewhere, I see tons of women that I want to approach in every day life but they are all married. That's what you get for living in the rural area.
I talk to very attractive women online but it rarely leads anywhere because of the paradox of choice. They have no problem of holding out for someone better. whether or not they even go out on dates is not known. They get tons of messages I'm sure and it is a known psychological phenomenon that the greater are the options the harder it is to choose.
Where did you leave previously that dating above your level was a stellar success but now it's all terrible?
Why did you move?
Where do you live now?
Are you saying this "paradox" (underlined) only exists where you live now but where you used to live, it didn't exist? Because previously, you said amazing women were choosing you.
Where did you leave previously that dating above your level was a stellar success but now it's all terrible?
Why did you move?
Where do you live now?
Are you saying this "paradox" (underlined) only exists where you live now but where you used to live, it didn't exist? Because previously, you said amazing women were choosing you.
Well for starters I used to be around more people in general in a major metropolis. Most of my other relationships started from something work related, interestingly. Now I work at a place with the same people and all of those who I would be interested in anyway, including a woman I developed a crush on, are married.
As to the online paradox, I'm sure it always existed to some extent.
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