I'm scared as hell, but I think I'm gonna bring up "the talk" over the phone (lesbian, advice)

[Inacitysomewhere]

Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla

Be prepared to walk away and stay away. A man who is in love will take down his profile and agree to exclusivity. He does not deserve you.


And no face to face talk is necessary, you can do it over the phone next time he calls. Since it's not an exclusive relationship, there is no need for a face to face talk. That's for more serious involvements.

Lord, “in love” after three dates?

Come onnow. This is why people have so many failed relationships. That is ridiculous.

[strawberrykiki]

I think you should stick to your plan and talk to him over the phone. Not contacting him to see if he reaches out is only going to prolong this situation that's making you unhappy. And so what if he does contact you for next weekend? That doesn't answer what you really want to know which is if he sees an exclusive relationship with you in his future. That he balked once at asking to take down the profiles says a lot, so I doubt you're going to be surprised if this conversation doesn't go well.

I used match a lot before I met my fiancé and it was so frustrating not knowing where I stood. It's taboo to actually ask the other person where things are going because you'll be seen as desperate and needy. It's ridiculous looking back. If I had been up front with guys who didn't seem to want to commit and forced that conversation then I would have known and I wouldn't have wasted so much time hoping for an outcome that wasn't ever going to happen.

Talk to him no matter how much it sucks if he isn't on the same page, it's so much better than wasting time with someone who doesn't see a future with you. And at least then you can be free to meet someone who wants the same things you do.

[stepka]

Originally Posted by Inacitysomewhere

Lord, “in love” after three dates?

Come onnow. This is why people have so many failed relationships. That is ridiculous.

They've gone out off and on for 4 years....

[Buzhidao]

One conversation we had was about his dating experience right before going out with me again.

He went on dates( the way he put it) with a mother of 2 for 4 times. But freaked out thinking about being a step dad so he broke things off.

He said that he knows she's looking for something serious and didn't want to mess around with her.

He said that maybe he's not that into her, the kids were just his excuse for a way out. Cause if it was me that had 2 kids, he would still try to work something out.

I should have asked him if he knows I'm looking for something serious too... a mother of 2 definitely deserves honesty and respect, but a childless woman deserves the same too!

[blondiel]

Originally Posted by Buzhidao

One conversation we had was about his dating experience right before going out with me again.

He went on dates( the way he put it) with a mother of 2 for 4 times. But freaked out thinking about being a step dad so he broke things off.

He said that he knows she's looking for something serious and didn't want to mess around with her.

He said that maybe he's not that into her, the kids were just his excuse for a way out. Cause if it was me that had 2 kids, he would still try to work something out.

I should have asked him if he knows I'm looking for something serious too... a mother of 2 definitely deserves honesty and respect, but a childless woman deserves the same too!

Did you talk about the kind of relationship each of you was looking for shortly after you started dating?

[Buzhidao]

Originally Posted by blondiel

Did you talk about the kind of relationship each of you was looking for shortly after you started dating?

No... we didn't... I just assumed he knew. At the very beginning of our going out again, he said that he doesn't want to get ahead of himself, but he hopes this time we work out.

[Mightyqueen801]

Originally Posted by Buzhidao

No... we didn't... I just assumed he knew. At the very beginning of our going out again, he said that he doesn't want to get ahead of himself, but he hopes this time we work out.

Don't just assume he knows. When I was young, I thought that, too. That's why I was dating--because at that time I wanted to find someone to marry and have a family with. I thought that was the whole point of dating, but I found out not everyone wasn't on that page. If you are, say so. It's best all around that everyone knows what's what.

[ClaraC]

Buz, I got great advice when I was younger and it still will hold true.

Never have sex with a man who isn't in love with you. You really, really cut out a lot of wasted time and a lot of heartache if you follow that rule.

So before you get naked with a man, he needs to say "I love you" in the broad light of day, not while you're between the sheets and he wants some. While you're out eating ice cream.

[Buzhidao]

Originally Posted by ClaraC

Buz, I got great advice when I was younger and it still will hold true.

Never have sex with a man who isn't in love with you. You really, really cut out a lot of wasted time and a lot of heartache if you follow that rule.

So before you get naked with a man, he needs to say "I love you" in the broad light of day, not while you're between the sheets and he wants some. While you're out eating ice cream.

The leturing is just getting old and is irrelevant to the topic.

if he likes me, he likes me wether or not we had sex.

I don't regret having sex with him. I enjoyed it. I want to keep having sex sololy just with him thus the talk. What's the problem here?

[Pilot1]

Originally Posted by Buzhidao

if he likes me, he likes me wether or not we had sex.

You're just wrong. He won't like you without the sex. In fact at this point it doesn't seem that he likes you WITH the sex. You are looking at a friends with benefits situation AT BEST.