Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 09-10-2018, 06:18 PM
 
Location: SNA=>PDX 2013
2,793 posts, read 4,068,632 times
Reputation: 3300

Advertisements

My three unpopular opinions:

1. Getting married should be as hard as getting divorced and yes, it should have a VERY LONG waiting period that involves NO wedding planning. It shouldn't take 1-3 days to get married and over a year in some cases to get divorced (for example, CA has a 6-month wait period).

2. Date as many people as you can/want at one time (I'm a woman, wrote a thread about this, got trashed for it, LMAO!). Sleep with them too if you want; just don't play with anyone's emotions and be honest about things. The more people you date, the more likely you'll figure out what you really want (most people don't really know what they want).

3. Having a kid should be as difficult and as long a process as adopting. This will never happen, but seriously, there are soooo many people out there who shouldn't have ever had kids. Just cuz you can, doesn't mean you should.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 09-11-2018, 06:36 AM
 
4,668 posts, read 3,896,255 times
Reputation: 3437
Sex on the third date is too soon. I dont believe in abstinence until marriage, but considering the average date might last 1-3 hours, that means you've known the person less then 10 hours. Of course, if the relationship is all about the fireworks... then theres that too, but for a meaningful relationship...
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-11-2018, 06:59 AM
 
13,496 posts, read 18,182,410 times
Reputation: 37885
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
My unpopular opinion: divorce isn't a bad thing. If two people gave it a shot and no longer want to be married, that's not shameful or even a failure, necessarily.

Oh, that you had been able to convince my parents of that!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-11-2018, 07:18 AM
 
21,915 posts, read 9,486,318 times
Reputation: 19443
Living together (if you are a person who wants to get married) is a mistake. I lived with 3 guys before I got married. MUCH harder to get out when it is bad.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-11-2018, 08:16 AM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
20,366 posts, read 14,640,743 times
Reputation: 39406
Quote:
Originally Posted by Grlzrl View Post
Living together (if you are a person who wants to get married) is a mistake. I lived with 3 guys before I got married. MUCH harder to get out when it is bad.
I don't think that living together is bad, but I do think that people should not do it too soon. You should be involved, seeing each other often, for quite some time before you decide to live together. By the time you do so, you should have some idea of whether you'd be happy with them.

I think you should live together before you get married. I just think you should take time between each step. Like, years. I was involved with my boyfriend, seeing him several times a week, for 2 years before we moved in together. We have lived together for a year now, and it's going great. We probably won't get married for another few years, but we've talked about it.

I think a lot of people, especially young people or those who have hardships they struggle to cope with, jump into things way too fast in relationships. You have to be able to realistically assess if you're making hasty or questionable decisions just because your life situation has made you vulnerable. Unfortunately a lot of people just are not that self aware, or they are driven by desperation of some kind.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-11-2018, 11:24 AM
 
71 posts, read 36,958 times
Reputation: 156
Womens dating difficulties are a joke compared to mens.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-11-2018, 11:25 AM
 
Location: In the bee-loud glade
5,573 posts, read 3,345,844 times
Reputation: 12295
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mjoelnir View Post
Womens dating difficulties are a joke compared to mens.
Yet women don't find them funny. Sense of humor a Y chromosome thing?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-11-2018, 11:28 AM
 
71 posts, read 36,958 times
Reputation: 156
Quote:
Originally Posted by homina12 View Post
Yet women don't find them funny. Sense of humor a Y chromosome thing?
Also, yes.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-11-2018, 11:31 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
29,739 posts, read 34,362,964 times
Reputation: 77059
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork View Post
I think a lot of people, especially young people or those who have hardships they struggle to cope with, jump into things way too fast in relationships. You have to be able to realistically assess if you're making hasty or questionable decisions just because your life situation has made you vulnerable. Unfortunately a lot of people just are not that self aware, or they are driven by desperation of some kind.
Yeah, a lot of times you see people who've been dating for less than a year decide to live together because one or the other's lease is up. While it isn't always a disaster, it certainly can be.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-11-2018, 02:41 PM
 
Location: So Cal
52,214 posts, read 52,636,749 times
Reputation: 52722
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
Yeah, a lot of times you see people who've been dating for less than a year decide to live together because one or the other's lease is up. While it isn't always a disaster, it certainly can be.
In places like So Cal and other expensive locales people, especially young people, but people in general can struggle to get the bills/rent/mortgage paid. It appears that our society is going to turn into some kind of group communal living thing as I've never seen or heard of so many people absolutely needing roommates anymore to make it. Not all but enough to where it's not all that uncommon anymore for people in their 30's needing a roommate. If you're seeing someone steady it can be appealing to make that move.

That was a catalyst for me at one point, I was seeing Mrs. Chow pretty steady way back when, I forget how long we were hanging out but my living situation was changing and I needed to make a move and we went for it.

I can see couples making that leap more and more these days.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top