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How is this an opinion on dating and relationships?
Dude why are you being so pedantic? It's kind of relating to dating. I just said an unpopular thing that I like. I certainly meant no offense to you, not in the least!!
Oh gosh. I have a slightly embarrassing opinion. Never dated a girl before but still. I know most people think it is very much a low-class thing but ... I think certain "tramp stamp" tattoos are so awesome!! There is a super thin girl in my class in college who is so so nice and polite and a bit shy, she wears tight jeans and crop top shirts and has a pierced tongue and a pierced belly button, black hair down to her tiny butt and a small tramp stamp tattoo of her boyfriend's name ... and that's all I could think about when she sat next to me in Economics 101. Oh my gosh is she pretty!!!
Oh. While we're at dispensing unpopular opinions, a tattoo is a leisure suit you can never take off again.
The more partners you have, the more relationships you have, the more chances you have for failure.
**also more chances for success
I don't understand what the point is here.
I would also counter his point with this.
I'm assuming he is married and has been with his wife for a long time (I think he may have mentioned this a few times, I could be wrong) and say he finds out that she's slept with quite a few people before him. Would he divorce her, especially after 30 years or more (just throwing a random number out there) just to prove his point? I highly doubt it because that's just stupid.
A person like this would probably also say, "Oh I know my wife/husband, they would NEVER do that." BULL. Two people in a relationship have NO WAY of knowing ANYTHING other than what they see their spouses do and what their spouses tell them. They have no way knowing anything for sure, especially what that spouse has done before them.
All they have is trust. So statements like that are inherently ridiculous and only serve to try to put other people down.
Oh gosh. I have a slightly embarrassing opinion. Never dated a girl before but still. I know most people think it is very much a low-class thing but ... I think certain "tramp stamp" tattoos are so awesome!! There is a super thin girl in my class in college who is so so nice and polite and a bit shy, she wears tight jeans and crop top shirts and has a pierced tongue and a pierced belly button, black hair down to her tiny butt and a small tramp stamp tattoo of her boyfriend's name ... and that's all I could think about when she sat next to me in Economics 101. Oh my gosh is she pretty!!!
All they have is trust. So statements like that are inherently ridiculous and only serve to try to put other people down.
Just my thoughts on that.
Yeah mine, too. It's unpopular with some men that women have any experience or know what they want. I suspect those who feel the most strongly in this are those who would prefer their partner not be able to compare them to anyone, so they won't notice how inadequate they are...in certain areas.
Hmm. That a lot of folks should, but probably don't, take into consideration real life family/marriage dynamics once the newness wears off, the nuptials said, life returns to normal, kids enter the picture, etc. I get that chemistry, attraction, doing "fun" things during the GTKY phase is exciting and new, but once the dynamic changes, you can't rely on chemistry and attraction, or other nondescript, basic, "nice" qualities to overcome issues and other shifts in the relationship dynamic. Chemistry, attraction and "nice" or "fun" aren't going to do much should true incompatibilities arise years down the road.
They won't mask or cover up incompatible love languages, communication styles, life goals, parenting styles, ideologies, financial handling, temperaments, values, division of labor, attitudes about in-laws, etc. I see this a lot among friends who marry straight out of high school and college with very little experience and understanding of relationship dynamics. The mom whose husband never changes diapers, over the span of three kids, the husband who does not approve of his wife breastfeeding, or is against her SAH, or the husband who refuses to take part in night time duty with babies and young kids. Disagreements on parenting dynamics and styles, or where to send kids to school, what church they'll attend, how they will be raised, etc. There are those who don't deal with major challenges even with differences in certain areas, but there are many, many that do. The couple that are at odds because they struggle to connect once the honeymoon/fun stage wears off. They don't understand the other's personality, temperament, communication style, etc., or there are serious differences that were somehow overlooked or not noticed until years later.
Which is why I'm a big advocate for honest introspection, figuring out what you're about as an individual, what you want, what you like, in a relationship. What your needs are and the kind of relationship dynamic that works for you. We do our best to talk openly about various aspects of companionships, dating, relationships, marriage, etc., with our older kids. They're still young, but it's important to have these talks now. What compatibility is, what traits and attributes to look for, based on their needs at the time. Things to consider when dating seriously. Do you want kids? If yes, consider the type of person you want to share this responsibility and experience with. What type of dynamic works for you. How involved will they be? Will you share compatible views on how to care for and raise them? (big area of contention in the circles I run in) Most people aren't thinking "Hmm. If he wants kids, I wonder how he'd feel about me SAH until school age." or "I wonder what her position is on corporal punishment and authoritarian parenting styles." You may not consider these issues in the early stages of dating or even later stages and early marriage, but they absolutely matter, especially among those with divergent views. So, it's best to think about such things, because they can really do a number on a relationship after the early stages have run their course.
As an aside, my eldest was approached by a peer toward the end of the school year. She was given a note. A girl asked her out [to be her girlfriend]. She immediately texted me (during lunch break) and didn't know what to do or think. Her reaction was too cute. But as we talked about it, she was like "I don't even know her. We barely talk. I can't go out with someone if I don't even know them." She responded to the note saying she wasn't interested in dating anyone, but would be interested in GTKY as a friend. I've told her that just because someone is cute or hot does not mean you need or should date them. It doesn't mean you'll be compatible companions.
And none of this is specific to relationships. Even friendships. I've explained that you don't need to make friends with just anyone on the basis of proximity (e.g., classmates/neighbors are your friends even if you don't have much in common, in personality, temperament, values, interests). It's okay to be selective with your time and energy and who you grow close to.
I also stress to my older kids to not seek validation from anyone. Know your worth and who you are and what you want. Be secure in it.
Probably because you created an account here to drool about her
Oh jeez that's honestly not why I joined! I saw the thread, "what's one unpopular opinion you have..." and thought of that.
I know that most respectable people think tramp-stamps and piercings and such are so so low class. My parents would probably have a fit if I brought someone home like that. But I just thought of that one girl where it so works (in my opinion).
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