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I don't like the word "opinion" in this case because it implies that people have the right to disrespect or disbelieve it instead of taking the person for their word. Anyway I'm going to use the word "feeling" instead because it's something I've actually experienced in a way.
Semantics.
Feelings can be easily discounted, as well.
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One feeling I have is that love at first sight (or something similar) is entirely possible. At the risk of ridicule, I find that many neurotypicals have this odd assumption that you have to interact with the person on a regular basis to fall in love with them. They say you have to "get to know" them first. Maybe that's true for normal people a lot of the time but the thing is you can "know" someone for years and still not really know them because they can be giving you a facade or change. They can turn on you at any time so considering that yes you can know that cashier at the grocery store you occasionally shop at just as well as a friend you've had for 10 years sometimes. It just depends. Not everything is so black and white. I'm an intuitive and observant person although my intuition never works in the way I want it to and I don't always listen to it..I generally know the basics of a person right away.
Case in point...see what you're doing, here? Discounting others feelings, opinions, beliefs, etc. that they need some individually defined depth of interaction in order to bond with a person.
Things do not have to be normal, or practiced by the majority, to be ok, if no one is coming to harm, and all have consented.
Virgin guys are a lot of fun.
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Originally Posted by JerZ
Mine: I don't think romantic relationships are necessarily meant to last forever. I have wondered at times what would happen if marriage licenses were for a finite time and could be renewed or not. I guess the logistics would be a mess but it has crossed my mind.
^ This. Or at least, a relationship need not be a lifelong commitment, in order to be valid and good. Nor a failure just because it has its season, runs its course, and comes to an end. I don't see lifelong commitment as the gold standard of relationships. Some of my best ones were the ones that didn't last, and I'm ok with the fact that they didn't. They ended when they were meant to.
Or the most unpopular opinion I can think of? (This one will get many people recoiling in horror, even people I respect, but it's ok, I'll take it.) When it comes to sexually active teenagers, if we are just talking about casual sex and not relationships, if those involved are cognizant and able to do safer sex practices properly, and if everyone is enthusiastically consenting, I don't think it makes a bit of difference if one of them is older, even much older. Now if it becomes a RELATIONSHIP there can be issues... But I'm more ok with a 60 year old having sex with a 16 year old a couple of times and then the two parting ways for good...than I am with a 30 year old MARRYING an 18 year old.
At 16, I felt able to consent to sex. I don't see how it's better if my partner was some goofball of a fellow 16 year old, or an adult. I really don't. At least, had I become pregnant, a grown man could have offered some resources to help...some other kid could not. I think that the age 18 is absurdly arbitrary in some ways. At 18 I was not of the right maturity to be committing to parenthood and a long term serious relationship, yet society said that was just peachy fine.
But that's simply my own rather philosophical (if highly unpopular) opinion, it doesn't have much bearing on reality.
Case in point...see what you're doing, here? Discounting others feelings, opinions, beliefs, etc. that they need some individually defined depth of interaction in order to bond with a person.
It's not individually defined though. It's universally defined by society. Because that's the way they fall in love they assume everyone else is like that too. That's why I put "you" instead of "they" and also why I said maybe that's true for normal people. It might be true for them since they are more normal but it doesn't mean it's true for the person they are discounting. In conclusion, I'm not sure why it's so far fetched to think that love at first is possible considering that people often change or are not what you think they are either. It should be just as valid in that case.
I've even seen this on Quora sometimes even when whether love at first sight is possible is not what they are asking. You say I'm falling in love with said person what should I do and then your story reveals your love is from short interactions, you're likely to get countless people telling you how you feel.
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Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork
Unpopular opinions, god I have so many...
Things do not have to be normal, or practiced by the majority, to be ok, if no one is coming to harm, and all have consented.
^ This. Or at least, a relationship need not be a lifelong commitment, in order to be valid and good. Nor a failure just because it has its season, runs its course, and comes to an end. I don't see lifelong commitment as the gold standard of relationships. Some of my best ones were the ones that didn't last, and I'm ok with the fact that they didn't. They ended when they were meant to.
Or the most unpopular opinion I can think of? (This one will get many people recoiling in horror, even people I respect, but it's ok, I'll take it.) When it comes to sexually active teenagers, if we are just talking about casual sex and not relationships, if those involved are cognizant and able to do safer sex practices properly, and if everyone is enthusiastically consenting, I don't think it makes a bit of difference if one of them is older, even much older. Now if it becomes a RELATIONSHIP there can be issues... But I'm more ok with a 60 year old having sex with a 16 year old a couple of times and then the two parting ways for good...than I am with a 30 year old MARRYING an 18 year old.
At 16, I felt able to consent to sex. I don't see how it's better if my partner was some goofball of a fellow 16 year old, or an adult. I really don't. At least, had I become pregnant, a grown man could have offered some resources to help...some other kid could not. I think that the age 18 is absurdly arbitrary in some ways. At 18 I was not of the right maturity to be committing to parenthood and a long term serious relationship, yet society said that was just peachy fine.
But that's simply my own rather philosophical (if highly unpopular) opinion, it doesn't have much bearing on reality.
It kinda goes with my post. People act like if something isn't normal or they never experienced it it doesn't exist or it is wrong. This is true with a lot of things so relationships/love is no different.
On your example, I think I'd be a little cringy about 60 and 16 having sex but there may be cases where that's okay because like I say everyone is different but it's just my initial reaction. However if you're a little older than a 16 year old (say in your early 20s), I see nothing wrong at all about having sex or even having a relationship. People do often focus on just the age too much in general and I kinda get it but it really doesn't matter as much as people think it should.
Last edited by Nickchick; 07-24-2018 at 03:38 PM..
Theres charts above to help you ladies understand, LOL
Charts make the world go round lol!
Those guys are conflating separate issues. Women can more easily support themselves financially in 2018 than in 1918, so there's less pressure to stay in a crappy marriage. Women also enter marriage with more relationship experience than in previous generations so it stands to reason that they've sampled a wider array of people before settling down.
I'm curious how many women would have left their husbands if the social and financial penalties of those times didn't exist.
My unpopular opinion (so many to choose from): being friends with your exes is good.
It implies that you're capable of mature relationships - and breakups
Welllllll....after an appropriate period of time, sure. Such as 2-3 years. Otherwise, you get into the creepy situations where someone will pretend to be a friend, biding his or her time until they can get worm their way back into the other person's heart.
Jeez. I dated someone like that, dumped her, and fell for the "We can be friends line." Only to watch her try and sabotage my later relationships.
My unpopular opinion (so many to choose from): being friends with your exes is good.
It implies that you're capable of mature relationships - and breakups
I think it's certainly possible to maintain a positive relationship with people after the relationship ends, but I don't think a blanket statement can be made, personally. It's a very case-by-case basis, and a lot depends on the nature of the parting of ways, as well as treatment within the relationship. Not everyone is in the driver's seat re: how the breakup goes. And,obviously, if a relationship ends due to abuse or something of that nature, being friends with the ex is probably a misguided priority.
I don't have any exes I would say I'm friends with, exactly...I do have a number with whom I interact pleasantly when the occasion arises, but we aren't intentional about spending time together, visiting, catching up, etc., as, you know, friends do. We're not on poor terms, by any means, but we're not really friends, either. I have one ex who I have no desire to have any connection with, whatsoever, for a number of good reasons. But other than that one person, I'm overwhelmingly neutral about exes.
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