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Background story:
So, me and this girl (lets call her Jenny) do have a history (10+ years ago). We were very good friends, but we never actually had sex..
I wasn't at that time sure that I wanted to be with her.
I found another girl (lets call her Hanna) which I had 2 children with, and I lost all contact with Jenny.
A few months ago Hanna and I decided to move seperate ways, feelings died and we didn't work well as a couple or parents together.
I've think I never really forgot about these feelings I had for Jenny, she still was "friends of friends", and I always felt like a "chill" in me whenever her name was brought up, or saw her online.
1 week ago, I met her at a party. I got pretty drunk, talked alot to her, and ended up telling her that I've always had feelings for her, that I was certain that WE we ment to be, that I love her.......
She is in a (5+ years) relationship with a guy she has 2 kids with..
Now here's the tricky part...:
She said that it probably would've been "us", if we played our cards right, but she is now in a relationship, and cannot/won't engage in anything else than a friendship. I respect that.
I don't know if it was the alcohol, but she said she wanted to kiss me, but couldn't. (We almost did).
I know she is not a girl who would cheat on her partner.
The day after the party, I texted her and apologized for telling her all this ****, (I didn't want to burden her with my feelings).
She says it's ok, and isn't really sure if she is glad I told her, or not, but she want's to stay as friends. I tell her I also would like that.
The following days we text ALOT on snapchat, catching up etc etc..
Yesterday, she says she's travelling out of town, just for 1 day.. The following messages are sent:
Me: Oh, that will probably be fun =)
Her: I'm not really sure, I might be bored..
Me: Nonsense, getting out of town, even for a day is healthy
Her: But who would keep me company, you?
long pause
Me: Yeah, I would
Her: No you wouldn't, I was just joking..
Me: Well, I wasn't.
Her: Really?
Me: Definitively.
We text back and forth, and she starts to question "us"..:
Her: It wouldn't be fair to you
Me: Why?
Her: You know, are you really ok with us beeing just friends?
Long pause
Me: Our friendship is to important to throw away, so yes. Now, I'm REALLY unsure about this part, even if I really DO treasure our friendship
Her: Okey :-)
Thats basically the story, as detailed as I could write :P
I would love any tips for what to do in my situation :/
Do I try continue this friendship, or do I stay away from her for my own sake?
Do you think she wants to stay as good friends just to see what happens in the future?
Are you looking for permission to pursue a married women with kids?
Are hoping to find someone who will tell you that it is ok to keep up this flirting and friendly banter, that her husband wouldn’t mind?
Maybe you should ask her husband what he thinks about this?
What she is doing is wrong. What you are doing is wrong. You already know that.
Im not asking permission for anything, I'm simply trying to decipher her and her situation..
Not sure why you are attacking me or her, as I can't see where I am giving the impression that either of us were to do something unfair towards her man. (They are not engaged/married).
I'm NOT trying to be a homewrecker, I respect her when she says she is in a relationship, I am NOT trying to get her to leave her man, OR engage anything other than a friendship (As mentioned we had a very good friendship, which I really would like to have back, and by firendship I mean FRIENDSHIP.
BUT, as I don't know anything about their relationship and its health, and IF they were to break it off (at some point), I would like to be there..
Im not asking permission for anything, I'm simply trying to decipher her and her situation..
Not sure why you are attacking me or her, as I can't see where I am giving the impression that either of us were to do something unfair towards her man. (They are not engaged/married).
I'm NOT trying to be a homewrecker, I respect her when she says she is in a relationship, I am NOT trying to get her to leave her man, OR engage anything other than a friendship (As mentioned we had a very good friendship, which I really would like to have back, and by firendship I mean FRIENDSHIP.
BUT, as I don't know anything about their relationship and its health, and IF they were to break it off (at some point), I would like to be there..
Im not asking permission for anything, I'm simply trying to decipher her and her situation..
Not sure why you are attacking me or her, as I can't see where I am giving the impression that either of us were to do something unfair towards her man. (They are not engaged/married).
I'm NOT trying to be a homewrecker, I respect her when she says she is in a relationship, I am NOT trying to get her to leave her man, OR engage anything other than a friendship (As mentioned we had a very good friendship, which I really would like to have back, and by firendship I mean FRIENDSHIP.
BUT, as I don't know anything about their relationship and its health, and IF they were to break it off (at some point), I would like to be there..
Your actions have put you in the situion you find yourself in. How effortlessly you find this is irrelevant.
Background story:
So, me and this girl (lets call her Jenny) do have a history (10+ years ago). We were very good friends, but we never actually had sex..
I wasn't at that time sure that I wanted to be with her.
I found another girl (lets call her Hanna) which I had 2 children with, and I lost all contact with Jenny.
A few months ago Hanna and I decided to move seperate ways, feelings died and we didn't work well as a couple or parents together.
I've think I never really forgot about these feelings I had for Jenny, she still was "friends of friends", and I always felt like a "chill" in me whenever her name was brought up, or saw her online.
1 week ago, I met her at a party. I got pretty drunk, talked alot to her, and ended up telling her that I've always had feelings for her, that I was certain that WE we ment to be, that I love her.......
She is in a (5+ years) relationship with a guy she has 2 kids with..
Now here's the tricky part...:
She said that it probably would've been "us", if we played our cards right, but she is now in a relationship, and cannot/won't engage in anything else than a friendship. I respect that.
I don't know if it was the alcohol, but she said she wanted to kiss me, but couldn't. (We almost did).
I know she is not a girl who would cheat on her partner.
The day after the party, I texted her and apologized for telling her all this ****, (I didn't want to burden her with my feelings).
She says it's ok, and isn't really sure if she is glad I told her, or not, but she want's to stay as friends. I tell her I also would like that.
The following days we text ALOT on snapchat, catching up etc etc..
Yesterday, she says she's travelling out of town, just for 1 day.. The following messages are sent:
Me: Oh, that will probably be fun =)
Her: I'm not really sure, I might be bored..
Me: Nonsense, getting out of town, even for a day is healthy
Her: But who would keep me company, you?
long pause
Me: Yeah, I would
Her: No you wouldn't, I was just joking..
Me: Well, I wasn't.
Her: Really?
Me: Definitively.
We text back and forth, and she starts to question "us"..:
Her: It wouldn't be fair to you
Me: Why?
Her: You know, are you really ok with us beeing just friends?
Long pause
Me: Our friendship is to important to throw away, so yes. Now, I'm REALLY unsure about this part, even if I really DO treasure our friendship
Her: Okey :-)
Thats basically the story, as detailed as I could write :P
I would love any tips for what to do in my situation :/
Do I try continue this friendship, or do I stay away from her for my own sake?
Do you think she wants to stay as good friends just to see what happens in the future?
That's not a friendship. That's an emotional affair.
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