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Im not asking permission for anything, I'm simply trying to decipher her and her situation..
Not sure why you are attacking me or her, as I can't see where I am giving the impression that either of us were to do something unfair towards her man. (They are not engaged/married).
I'm NOT trying to be a homewrecker, I respect her when she says she is in a relationship, I am NOT trying to get her to leave her man, OR engage anything other than a friendship (As mentioned we had a very good friendship, which I really would like to have back, and by firendship I mean FRIENDSHIP.
BUT, as I don't know anything about their relationship and its health, and IF they were to break it off (at some point), I would like to be there..
If you really want to be friends with her, ask her and her partner out for dinner. Include all 3 of you on your texts. As far as I’m concerned, friendships with the opposite gender when you are in a relationship should include everyone.
I assume you all have been in my situation, and just gave up on something that could be great (and right)..
I simply wanted to hear if someone had any advices for what to do in MY situation.
Quote:
"Do I try continue this friendship, or do I stay away from her for my own sake?"
"Do you think she wants to stay as good friends just to see what happens in the future?"
I assume you all have been in my situation, and just gave up on something that could be great (and right)..
I simply wanted to hear if someone had any advices for what to do in MY situation.
Quote:
"Do I try continue this friendship, or do I stay away from her for my own sake?"
"Do you think she wants to stay as good friends just to see what happens in the future?"
My advice is to never contact her again. Don’t even contact her to say you are never going to contact her again. If she contacts you, don’t contact her to say sorry, I’m not going to contact you again. Let this friendship go.
I assume you all have been in my situation, and just gave up on something that could be great (and right)..
I simply wanted to hear if someone had any advices for what to do in MY situation.
Quote:
"Do I try continue this friendship, or do I stay away from her for my own sake?"
"Do you think she wants to stay as good friends just to see what happens in the future?"
Yes I have, and the best advice I can give is to walk away.
Its not a friendship. She loves the attention. You love her. She is in love with someone else, not you.
She said multiple times she wants to stay just friends. There is no "see what happens" in the future. If you can't accept that, you should probably walk away.
Maybe she's the right person but it's the wrong time. You have to just accept that and move on. If I were you, I'd just talk to her as friends and catch up a few times a year, but keep my distance and move on. When and if the time is right, you two will come together. But not today.
My advice is to never contact her again. Don’t even contact her to say you are never going to contact her again. If she contacts you, don’t contact her to say sorry, I’m not going to contact you again. Let this friendship go.
Btw, wouldn't it be a lousy thing to do, not answering her anymore?
What about telling her exactly how things are?:
I want more than a friendship, and I don't think I can handle this when staying as friends?
Formulate a message where I apologize, but thats the only thing to do?
I assume you all have been in my situation, and just gave up on something that could be great (and right)..
I simply wanted to hear if someone had any advices for what to do in MY situation.
Quote:
"Do I try continue this friendship, or do I stay away from her for my own sake?"
"Do you think she wants to stay as good friends just to see what happens in the future?"
If you want a relationship with her random opinions on what you’re doing or should be doing really shouldn’t matter.
You’re going to pursue it because (surprise!) you already are. You’ve taken all the steps to get yourself to this point with this person. You cannot pretend your actions are “meaningless” to the circumstance. You have allowed this to go on in the way it has because of your own agency.
My only real advice to you would be this:
Someone who would do this behind the back of their SO with a reckless abandon is showing YOU who they are. If you seek to become their SO by playing this game with them you’re asking for the same treatment in the future, you’re showing them you are accepting of this behavior by partaking in it.
Take some time away from this person to allow your headspace to clear a little.
Last edited by rego00123; 11-14-2018 at 11:58 AM..
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