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Yeah I understand that it’s an easy way to meet people, but after 15 years of mediocre dates, I think I’m done with it. Also, I keep watching movies about human trafficking which scares me off from wanting to continue to meet men online. Oh, and I asked someone who I love and respect very much for dating advice and he told me to just stop looking and do my own thing, so that’s what I’ve been doing.
I’m 37 years old so I don’t think human trafficking is real threat for me. The doing your own thing and love will find you sounds great and all but it’s not very realistic in my experience and this day and age. I’m not at the point where I would stop online dating but I’m also afraid of that I get a few more dates that go this way, I will get discouraged and stop. I have only been on for a few months so I wouldn’t say a break is in order just yet.
I’m 37 years old so I don’t think human trafficking is real threat for me. The doing your own thing and love will find you sounds great and all but it’s not very realistic in my experience and this day and age. I’m not at the point where I would stop online dating but I’m also afraid of that I get a few more dates that go this way, I will get discouraged and stop. I have only been on for a few months so I wouldn’t say a break is in order just yet.
The advice Sweet Like Sugar got from her friend and is giving to you is an old classic, and it can work pretty well.
How else can you widen your social circles? The usual options are volunteering, some kind of hobby, take a class, etc. it’s cliche but you’ll mix it up with new people a few times a week either after work or on weekends. If you’re out and about, enjoying life and having fun, you’ll get more of that “glow” and positive energy around you. That intangible bit can be just the boost needed.
No, she DID want a second date with him, but she wasn't willing to ask for it herself.
Yeah. I’m not sure she’s being entirely truthful with herself so it’s hard to tell. She says there was no attraction and didn’t feel a spark, but then is sad when there is no follow up, but won’t follow up on her end. My guess is these guys are getting mixed signals and end up not sure how things stand.
Yeah. I’m not sure she’s being entirely truthful with herself so it’s hard to tell. She says there was no attraction and didn’t feel a spark, but then is sad when there is no follow up, but won’t follow up on her end. My guess is these guys are getting mixed signals and end up not sure how things stand.
Well then she'll learn eventually that she cant expect them to do all the work while she sits back.
But 4 dates is no way to gauge progress. She has to do alot more than 4 dates to determine if shes doing something wrong. Im going to go with shes batting above her league, or the guys she got dates with just wanted an easy lay and saw it wasnt going to happen.
Yeah. I’m not sure she’s being entirely truthful with herself so it’s hard to tell. She says there was no attraction and didn’t feel a spark, but then is sad when there is no follow up, but won’t follow up on her end. My guess is these guys are getting mixed signals and end up not sure how things stand.
Never said there was no attraction or spark, what I said was that I wasn’t really that physically attracted to him. Maybe I’m different but for me attraction isn’t just physical, if I’m attracted to ones personality and sense of humor I know the physical attraction may grow (at least for me). As I said in the previous post I don’t kiss on the first date so it wasn’t personal, I didn’t feel comfortable enough to kiss him after only knowing him for two hours, I don’t think that’s unreasonable or sending mixed signals. And I’ve met plenty of men who might’ve not been sure where they stood with a woman after the first date but still reached out to her because they were genuinely interested in her. If a man chooses to only ask women out who he knows for a fact will definitely say yes, his options will be very limited.
As for the date you’re mentioning I reached out to him once I got home to thank him and say I had a good time, I’m not the kind of girl who’s going to initiate a second date but I am the kind of girl who will try to make a man feel it’s ok to ask me out, which I believe is what I did. Yes, there were a few people who thought i should ask him out on that thread. There were also a number of people who thought I did enough to encourage him to ask for a second date and since he didn’t he probably wasn’t interested. I agreed with the latter.
Well then she'll learn eventually that she cant expect them to do all the work while she sits back.
But 4 dates is no way to gauge progress. She has to do alot more than 4 dates to determine if shes doing something wrong. Im going to go with shes batting above her league, or the guys she got dates with just wanted an easy lay and saw it wasnt going to happen.
Definitely not above my league. I’d say the men have been average at best (in the looks and career departments with the exception of one), I think that might be why this bothers me so much. The last time I did the online dating thing the guys I went out with had better careers and were better looking. Most of those first dates turned into second dates at the least.
Definitely not above my league. I’d say the men have been average at best (in the looks and career departments with the exception of one), I think that might be why this bothers me so much. The last time I did the online dating thing the guys I went out with had better careers and were better looking. Most of those first dates turned into second dates at the least.
The easy lay theory might be a possibility
Last time I was in PMs with someone that said that same thing for months, showed me guys that were 8-10 but she called them average. Those guys youre on dates with might see from a mile away that youre not really interested in them, and maybe thats why they bailed.
At any rate, I think you need to go on at least 20 dates to see if youre getting the same results with guys that youre actually interested in.
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