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It just sounds like he was referring to the prior conversation and the statement that YOU made about being hurt. I don't get the dramatics... maybe he's overdoing it a tad bit, but maybe he also truly likes you and wants you to feel reassured.
Relax.
Do you like him? Has he treated you well thus far? Have you enjoyed your time together? If so, then move forward at your pace. Being cautious is fine, but don't press the panic button.
However, if you are using this as an excuse to bolt because you are not interested, then just end it.
So you're worried because he cared enough about you, even when you weren't dating, to remember a long ago conversation?
I'm sorry to say this, but being worried because someone cared about you and translated that into words is messed up thinking.
That said, no one can claim they will never hurt another. He can't. You can't. I can't. No one. Given the right set of circumstances each of us is capable of hurting another. The thing is, we have to live life not being so afraid of the hurt that we curl up and hide or reject others unless we view them as perfect.
I’m in the beginning stage of dating a man, Early 40s. He has said multiple times that he will never hurt me.
It sounds like a nervous Freudian slip, and that he's trying to cover up past issues. But regardless, and even more importantly, no one can or should promise anything. No one can guarantee he/she will never hurt another.
The red-flags are waving too strongly here.
Last edited by Thoreau424; 09-20-2019 at 03:52 PM..
It just sounds like he was referring to the prior conversation and the statement that YOU made about being hurt. I don't get the dramatics... maybe he's overdoing it a tad bit, but maybe he also truly likes you and wants you to feel reassured.
Relax.
Do you like him? Has he treated you well thus far? Have you enjoyed your time together? If so, then move forward at your pace. Being cautious is fine, but don't press the panic button.
However, if you are using this as an excuse to bolt because you are not interested, then just end it.
big ups. methinks she is looking for an excuse to end it with the genuinely sincere (boring ?) caring guy without looking bad; eventhough, she gave years worth of red flag chances to the womanizing badboy player who broke her heart.
It looks like the OP's man friend got brainwashed by today's feminist pop culture media. The kind that perpetually pushes the message that all men are abusers and violators. So, he's overcompensating, by repeating that he's NOT like that, and by acting "tepid" and approval-seeking. He wants to make her feel safe and cared for, I get that.
Unfortunately, the poor guy doesn't realize that weak and/or submissive behavior is the fastest way to make a woman lose interest. And it seems like this already happened.
If *my* lady friend asked me if I would hurt her, I'd give her a puzzled look, and say: "No. (pause) I'll always ask before trying something new. But we'll cross that bridge when we get there."
Last edited by MillennialUrbanist; 10-02-2019 at 10:47 AM..
I’m in the beginning stage of dating a man, Early 40s. He has said multiple times that he will never hurt me and that I have nothing to worry about without me even bringing up any kind of concern. Am I right to read this as a negative sign? If you legitimately have good intentions toward a woman, why would you even bring up that kind of statement? Is this a case of that who doth protest too much?
No not in isolation but watch a person's actions not their words. If he starts to appear irrational or volatile then I'd be worried.
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My ex would profess how nice of a guy he was. His actions showed differently. No way I’ll stay with a man who slams things, sometimes causing something to break or spill a drink out of anger. Or drive recklessly after being mad at me.
Although, I seen my brother do this with his wife once. It shocked me bc he didn’t seem the type of person to do that,
Is this common behavior among men?
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