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I’m in the beginning stage of dating a man, Early 40s. He has said multiple times that he will never hurt me and that I have nothing to worry about without me even bringing up any kind of concern. Am I right to read this as a negative sign? If you legitimately have good intentions toward a woman, why would you even bring up that kind of statement? Is this a case of that who doth protest too much?
I’m in the beginning stage of dating a man, Early 40s. He has said multiple times that he will never hurt me and that I have nothing to worry about without me even bringing up any kind of concern. Am I right to read this as a negative sign? If you legitimately have good intentions toward a woman, why would you even bring up that kind of statement? Is this a case of that who doth protest too much?
I'd take it as a red flag. Sounds off in some way. In my experience, a person who constantly says that they will or won't do something often winds up being the one person who does that thing they kept saying they wouldn't do.
Oh God, I dated one of those. ONE date. He kept making odd references to not hurting me and not pushing me in any way, and unlike ClaraC, this guy was talking about not physically hurting me. I literally ran away from him.
I asked him directly, as his explanation was that many moons ago (I knew him a while ago as a former colleague) he remembered me saying that I was afraid of getting hurt again. I was fresh out of an unhealthy relationship then. Been a while!
Could this be a valiant reason for him to throw this out though?
I asked him directly, as his explanation was that many moons ago (I knew him a while ago as a former colleague) he remembered me saying that I was afraid of getting hurt again. I was fresh out of an unhealthy relationship then. Been a while!
Could this be a valiant reason for him to throw this out though?
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 11 days ago)
35,637 posts, read 17,994,810 times
Reputation: 50679
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flavia84
I asked him directly, as his explanation was that many moons ago (I knew him a while ago as a former colleague) he remembered me saying that I was afraid of getting hurt again. I was fresh out of an unhealthy relationship then. Been a while!
Could this be a valiant reason for him to throw this out though?
Okay, wait.
You had a history of being hurt, that he knew about, and you recently asked would he hurt you? and he's responding, "I won't hurt you"?
That's a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SITUATION from some guy you are newly dating who keeps saying, randomly, out of the blue, that he won't hurt you.
Why in the world didn't you state this in the beginning?
Last edited by ClaraC; 09-19-2019 at 09:50 PM..
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