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No, it isn't, and many of us advising you in this thread have said those very things to other posters.
I do think some here have used this thread to launch into some kind of sexual equality discussion, when it really isn't that.
Good. Then once again pay attention to what you actually do know about yourself and what people who actually know her are saying and trust your gut.
It doesn't say anything about her as a woman or you as man. I think you're really trying to sort out what you want to get into vs. what you've already been through, and you just aren't ready.
I know you had a hard time separating yourself from your most recent breakup, so I think you're wise to proceed with caution here. It just sounds like you're misplacing that caution toward her when it really just applies to you.
Because as I said, her more recent history is of a few short flings, so it creates a different picture.
I’m not looking for any absolute answer but I am taking in the advice and looking to see if anybody says hey I was/am like that and here’s how I think/things have gone/this is what changed.
But so far I’m not sure I’m willing to take this risk on somebody that doesn’t seem like a reliable person to invest in
But she was "reliable" before, and once she meets the right guy, she'll be "reliable" again. You really don't know why she dropped a few guys after just 2-3 months of dating. What if you and she really click, and you become her next LTR? By closing the door before you even cross the threshold, you're eliminating that possibility.
But....suit yourself. But please consider counseling to resolve your fears and pain.
But she was "reliable" before, and once she meets the right guy, she'll be "reliable" again. You really don't know why she dropped a few guys after just 2-3 months of dating. What if you and she really click, and you become her next LTR? By closing the door before you even cross the threshold, you're eliminating that possibility.
In addition to this, the idea of needing commitment before commitment is pretty radically unhealthy.
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But....suit yourself. But please consider counseling to resolve your fears and pain.
OP, honestly, she is just "playing the field". Some girls like doing that. If she is with YOU, you shouldn't worry about what she did to other guys in the past. Get some other women in your rotation. Then you won't care so much. She probably next'ed the other guys because they thought the same way as you.
I (29M) recently met this girl (25F) through some friends that I'm pretty into. We have an awesome connection and have a great time hanging out a couple of times so far. I could definitely see myself dating her more seriously but I'm a little concerned...
She has a history of getting together with guys and having a fling with them and then dumping them out of nowhere is the gist I'm getting. Some of them seem to be casual hookups she discards after a bit, some are more like a relationship that have lasted up to three months.
What's going on with people that are like that? What does that say about them if anything? Is this a maturity thing or signs of something that won’t change and to be weary of? If you're able to relate at all, can you give some insight?
Immorality. Some people don't have decency. Once you identify them, maximize your distance. (Gender irrelevant)
When I was a young woman I went out with a lot of good looking young men. When the physical attraction loses its newness, you need interesting, stimulating mental attraction. I was into eye candy. It took a while to learn a full meal was more satisfying. Maybe she is similar. What have you got to lose by waiting to see how it goes?
What's going on with people that are like that? What does that say about them if anything? Is this a maturity thing or signs of something that won’t change and to be weary of? If you're able to relate at all, can you give some insight?
They almost always have some messed up family background issues (parent abandoned them, usually the dad; physical or sexual abuse, etc.). If you want a serious, committed, relationship, she's not capable.
They almost always have some messed up family background issues (parent abandoned them, usually the dad; physical or sexual abuse, etc.). If you want a serious, committed, relationship, she's not capable.
She's already had an LTR or two and now she's casually dating. DATING. The process by which you meet new people and determine if they are someone with whom you'd like to develop an LTR.
Maybe after her LTR, she is more discriminating about who she is willing to devote time to. Maybe she'd just like to have some fun being single and not "tied down". Nothing about her casually dating signifies she's damaged and incapable of a committed relationship.
The best part? The OP has free will not to go out with her. No one is forcing him and this young woman isn't asking him to.
'Casual hook-ups " are now how one dates? Who knew!
Yes OP, this lady is exhibiting promiscuous antics . It's a behavior which does not afflict just one gender. It does though subject any new active "hook up" canidates to be another casualty.
Fickle in her bouncing around..
Most gals hitting the dating scene have some selective reasoning. As do some gents.
Op-you are well aware of this ladys reputation...I would suggest waiting to cross paths later in life if the opportunity comes around. She is still in the making mistakes and learning from them. We each deserve those learning curves..so long as we modify at some point.
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