Is Bisexual an Issue? (woman, love, cheating, husband)
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A LOT of guys are okay with it because they think they can get a 3 way out of it, or at least that’s the fantasy. They don’t see bi sexual or bi curious women as less feminine.
Women are the opposite, bi-sexuality has an emasculating affect in their eyes, that’s why the immediate “nope” responses. I don’t think women see these men as “fully men” or at least not “man enough” to date them. Or if they did date them, the idea of their past sleeping with other men wouldn’t be a visual they could ever get out of there heads’. This is why men, who have that type of background typically don’t talk about it just like some people (women in particular) don’t talk about “body count”. They put it in the box of sexual history not to be discussed.
Last edited by SerlingHitchcockJPeele; 07-21-2022 at 04:05 AM..
A LOT of guys are okay with it because they think they can get a 3 way out of it, or at least that’s the fantasy. They don’t see bi sexual or bi curious women as less feminine.
Women are the opposite, bi-sexuality has an emasculating affect in their eyes, that’s why the immediate “nope” responses. I don’t think women see these men as “fully men” or at least not “man enough” to date them. Or if they did date them, the idea of their past sleeping with other men wouldn’t be a visual they could ever get out of there heads’. This is why men, who have that type of background typically don’t talk about it just like some people (women in particular) don’t talk about “body count”. They put it in the box of sexual history not to be discussed.
I mean, I know I cannot argue anyone out of feeling how they feel, and I do believe quite strongly that anyone has a right to want what they want and to say no to anything they do not. That will always be the bottom line for me.
I just don't think it makes a lot of sense, personally. I dunno. I'm not judging, it's all very "you do you."
I have known a lot of REALLY masculine men who were gay or bi. I don't feel like gender expression and orientation are inextricably tied at all. I mean, hell, most of the trans women I know are lesbians, they want to be femme and want to date feminine people. Euskalherria here is not trans (as far as I know) but he is really into femme expression both for himself and for his partners. It's unusual, but hardly unique.
I think that the mindset of tying those things together is a relic of "heteronormativity" like the idea that even in a gay relationship there has to be a "man/top/masc person" and a "woman/bottom/femme person." Like people can't accept a concept of a relationship that doesn't have a binary "man & woman" gendered framework. That's...not really how all this works, though.
I don't get why the idea of a man being with another man would be an upsetting visual I couldn't get out of my head any more than the idea of a man being with another woman in the past would. If anything, I might be more troubled by the idea that he had a much younger and prettier woman in his past that he thinks of a lot and that he's somehow comparing me unfavorably to in his mind. Everyone wants a partner who is totally into us and wants to be with us, right? Maybe that's the persisting question..."would this man rather be with another man?" And of course there is the troublesome history with the concept of a "beard". The gay man who has a female partner just to keep up appearances when if not for social stigma he'd just be gay. I get that, but for me, that's a good reason to ditch the stigma. When people feel like they can be honest, without being punished for it, then they will be free to be more genuine about who they are and what they want. (EDIT: Should add, I guess, that the concept of gay male sex does not gross me out, so.../shrug)
So all I can say is that I want partners I can feel confident about, that they are affirmatively into me and happy with me. As long as I feel solid about that, I'm good.
A LOT of guys are okay with it because they think they can get a 3 way out of it, or at least that’s the fantasy. They don’t see bi sexual or bi curious women as less feminine.
Women are the opposite, bi-sexuality has an emasculating affect in their eyes, that’s why the immediate “nope” responses. I don’t think women see these men as “fully men” or at least not “man enough” to date them. Or if they did date them, the idea of their past sleeping with other men wouldn’t be a visual they could ever get out of there heads’. This is why men, who have that type of background typically don’t talk about it just like some people (women in particular) don’t talk about “body count”. They put it in the box of sexual history not to be discussed.
The other issue is if they are declaring it and announcing it in the present tense, they're really saying they're not monogamous and that's a deal-breaker for many.
The other issue is if they are declaring it and announcing it in the present tense, they're really saying they're not monogamous and that's a deal-breaker for many.
Any more than a married straight person being sexually attractive to another of the opposite gender? As many have posted prior, they are attracted to the person and the "parts" often are a lesser factor.
I don't really think you can know what "they are really saying" that is just an assumption based on personal views and preconceived notions. You certainly can't say that applies to the entire populace of bisexuals.
I've been around the block so to speak.... Anytime I create a mental picture of what any such sexual preference group "should" be like, here comes along an individual that proves me wrong. Like masculine and feminine. I've met some very masculine gay guys. I've also met some very feminine lesbians. I used to think that due to personal experiences with discrimination that gays and lesbians "should" be more open minded... then I met a few that held very harsh (and very incorrect) opinions regarding bisexuals.... even after admitting they don't really know any.
The other issue is if they are declaring it and announcing it in the present tense, they're really saying they're not monogamous and that's a deal-breaker for many.
A person who is bisexual isn’t suddenly NOT bisexual if they are in a committed relationship. What I don’t understand about this thread is that people seem to equate being bisexual with not being monogamous or able to be in a committed relationship. In reality, many bisexual people have partners/spouses and may have kids.
I wonder if part of the issue is that certain people are worried about their heterosexual partners having friendships with people of the opposite sex because they think it could result in a relationship. They consider bisexual people and would have to apply that to everyone. It is just not realistic or healthy for people to have no friends outside a spouse/partner. I think that expectation is ridiculous either way.
The other issue is if they are declaring it and announcing it in the present tense, they're really saying they're not monogamous and that's a deal-breaker for many.
That's the misconception (that too many people probably get from porn.) Bisexual doesn't mean polyamorous or promiscuous. A straight person can be in a relationship, and find someone else of the opposite sex attractive or interesting, and do nothing about it because they're monogamous. Bi is no different.
I didn’t use the words “bottom” or “top” or “ancient Rome” because I was referring to male bisexuality in general, not the mechanics therein. Women generally don’t like it, and for many of the reasons (along with some of Sonic’s) that I said.
Men, on the other hand, tend to be much less bothered by it. Many even fantasy about it or the possibility of them joining in. That’s why if you ask men about being with bi-women, most won’t say “nope!” “Eww” or “no way”. Men and Women see it differently is all I’m saying.
I didn’t use the words “bottom” or “top” or “ancient Rome” because I was referring to bisexuality in general, not the mechanics therein. Women generally don’t like it, and for many of the reasons (along with some of Sonic’s) that I said.
Men, on the other hand, tend to be much less bothered by it. Many even fantasy about it or the possibility of them joining in. That’s why if you ask men about being with bi-women, most won’t say “nope!” “Eww” or “no way”. Men and Women see it differently is all I’m saying.
I'm not going to get in the weeds on this but you're missing the point. I agree that many women want nothing to do with a bisexual guy but it's not because they can't be fully masculine. There are effeminate straight men who do just fine with women.
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