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Old 08-22-2022, 02:36 PM
 
2 posts, read 1,984 times
Reputation: 10

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Greetings, everyone

I'm new to the forum, so thanks for having me. My question is about a matter that has caused some tension between me (29) and my wife (26). We were at a gathering of several friends, mostly couples, a couple of weeks ago. Everything was fine until a particular thing happened. Several of the people present were sharing various photos of things they had done, etc. Some of the ladies had been together for some event where they were trying on various articles of clothing and so forth. They were putting up pics of themselves and one another in different outfits. At one point, a pic came up showing one of the ladies in some top or whatever. Well, right behind her in the pic, my wife was standing, obviously in the midst of changing from one item to another, and there she was totally visible from the waist up in only her bra. There were some chuckles, etc. going around the room, and that's when I looked up and saw what it was about. They were cracking some jokes and so forth about her being accidentally caught on camera in her bra. She was laughing along with everyone else about it, obviously not really embarrassed. I complained to her on the way home and asked if she knew the pic existed. She said yes, but that she had forgotten about it. I stated that I didn't like the other guys there seeing her like that. She said that it was unintentional, but that the girls all just laughed it off. She said that I was making too big of a deal about it and should lighten up; that it could have just as easily happened to one of the other girls and I then I would have seen one of the other guys' wife in her bra. She said she was covered, so it was no big deal. My question is: Am I overreacting here? Would you guys just laugh it off if it was your wife or girlfriend? Ladies, would you be embarrassed if you had been the one in the pic? Would you make them delete the pic, or just "be a good sport" and go along with it? I would like some opinions here.
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Old 08-22-2022, 02:54 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
29,739 posts, read 34,367,163 times
Reputation: 77059
Was your wife any more exposed in this picture than she would have been in the background of a picture taken at the beach? Would you be embarrassed for your friends to see your wife in her bathing suit?
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Old 08-22-2022, 02:54 PM
 
1,386 posts, read 910,368 times
Reputation: 2067
She had a bra on. It was unintentional and non-sexual. You're overreacting.

/thread
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Old 08-22-2022, 03:09 PM
 
22,284 posts, read 21,718,518 times
Reputation: 54735
Overreacting. If your wife wasn't bothered, it seems a little sexist to be bothered on her behalf, as if you hold some ownership over her body.
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Old 08-22-2022, 04:08 PM
 
2,964 posts, read 1,638,645 times
Reputation: 7306
A bra is usually more covering than a bikini top.

On a beach lots of strangers would see her in real life.

This was just friends looking at images in a phone.

She was with girl friends trying on clothes. Non-controversial activity.

Everyone laughed (except you probably).

Relax and let it go. It was not important.
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Old 08-22-2022, 04:19 PM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,940,305 times
Reputation: 40635
Scandalous!
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Old 08-22-2022, 04:28 PM
 
Location: The Piedmont of North Carolina
6,012 posts, read 2,835,083 times
Reputation: 7618
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billmill12 View Post
Well, right behind her in the pic, my wife was standing, obviously in the midst of changing from one item to another, and there she was totally visible from the waist up in only her bra.
If you had said she was completely visible and only wearing a bra, I would be just as bothered as you are. But, it appears that she was no more exposed than if she were at the beach. If I am assuming correctly, then there is nothing to be bothered by.
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Old 08-22-2022, 04:40 PM
 
Location: Bloomington IN
8,590 posts, read 12,338,753 times
Reputation: 24251
Yes, you're overreacting.
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Old 08-22-2022, 04:40 PM
 
Location: Mr. Roger's Neighborhood
4,088 posts, read 2,557,771 times
Reputation: 12494
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billmill12 View Post
Greetings, everyone

I'm new to the forum, so thanks for having me. My question is about a matter that has caused some tension between me (29) and my wife (26). We were at a gathering of several friends, mostly couples, a couple of weeks ago. Everything was fine until a particular thing happened. Several of the people present were sharing various photos of things they had done, etc. Some of the ladies had been together for some event where they were trying on various articles of clothing and so forth. They were putting up pics of themselves and one another in different outfits. At one point, a pic came up showing one of the ladies in some top or whatever. Well, right behind her in the pic, my wife was standing, obviously in the midst of changing from one item to another, and there she was totally visible from the waist up in only her bra. There were some chuckles, etc. going around the room, and that's when I looked up and saw what it was about. They were cracking some jokes and so forth about her being accidentally caught on camera in her bra. She was laughing along with everyone else about it, obviously not really embarrassed. I complained to her on the way home and asked if she knew the pic existed. She said yes, but that she had forgotten about it. I stated that I didn't like the other guys there seeing her like that. She said that it was unintentional, but that the girls all just laughed it off. She said that I was making too big of a deal about it and should lighten up; that it could have just as easily happened to one of the other girls and I then I would have seen one of the other guys' wife in her bra. She said she was covered, so it was no big deal. My question is: Am I overreacting here? Would you guys just laugh it off if it was your wife or girlfriend? Ladies, would you be embarrassed if you had been the one in the pic? Would you make them delete the pic, or just "be a good sport" and go along with it? I would like some opinions here.
Yes, you're overreacting--especially as your wife wasn't front and center in the picture in question but behind one of her girlfriends in it.

It's her body--not yours. If she's not embarrassed and seems to think little of the picture being seen by those in your mixed-gender circle of friends, why should you care?

As noted by other posters, most bras cover just as much if not more than a bikini top. Unless you make your wife wear a burka at the beach or the two of you belong to an exceptionally modest religious sect (for example, the Duggars), strangers have seen more of your wife's body than your friends did during the minute or so when that picture flashed onto the screen before everyone moved on to another image.
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Old 08-22-2022, 05:06 PM
 
Location: Boydton, VA
4,598 posts, read 6,354,969 times
Reputation: 10585
If you got your knickers in a knot over that....you need counseling.
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