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Which one is more likely to pay for sexual relations or companionship? I rest my case.
I have never heard of women needing to do so in America, yet many men do it all the time. It helps illustrate the dynamics of which one has it harder.
The only solution is to look for love abroad, because no one can change or control the western standards of attractiveness. I can't make myself 6'4" with a chiseled jaw, who makes you laugh like a comedian, but I've traveled to plenty of places where they don't care about any of that.
But a lot of women aren't looking for 6'4 and a chiseled jaw. I've seen women go for 5'7 and nerdy, or 5'6 and a little chubby. But they were good guys, though too shy to do the approaching IRL.
OLD really distorts the view of reality in a number of ways, it seems.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,191,467 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CyclingChemist
All guys want sex but many want something more as well.
Same for all the women I know. I don't see my 45-50+ women friends not wanting sex, quite the opposite. Finding guys who want it as much is more the issue.
But here's the thing: You can't write a dating bio and write character into it. I mean, if someone wrote, "I'm honest to a fault", I'd already be raising an eyebrow....
Character is learned over time...and it's not only after a few dates...or even weeks, in MOST cases.
The guys who want sex usually make themselves known within a month...or even three dates/weeks...
And if a guy put out his income, in order to impress, I'd be swiping left by him...
I dunno, I think that a lot of us can infer things about a person from what they write in a bio. Maybe "personality" more than "character?" Those of really bad character are probably going to try and hide it and some of the worst will succeed...for a while anyways.
But no, reflecting attractive character in a bio is not about writing a claim about your honesty. I remember being on OKC and being really drawn in by a few profiles because they were just masterpieces of writing. They were engaging, interesting and funny. But then, I am more of a literate person, certainly not all women are.
Yet sometimes, even attraction isn't enough.
There was one that I kept going back to, his photos were professionally shot (and very nice) and he was stylish in a way I liked, and his profile was incredibly well written. But there was a problem...he was too young for me. Not by HIS standards, but definitely by mine. I wanted a stable, at least middle aged person to fit where I was at in life, and he was still in his 20s at the time and he is still to this day, years later, scratching by trying to make it in a goth band. I mean...cool, best of luck and I'll buy your CD and a t-shirt or something...but eh, no thanks for dating...
I did write to him though just to compliment him on how great his profile was. I wanted him to know, he did a great job with it. I was attracted but my sensible side was not gonna let me date him, that's just how it was. I told him I would have, but he was "too young for me." His reply was, "Well I'm not getting any younger!" ??? lol
Later on he ended up with an internship at my place of employment where I hold a highly specialized and well-paid career position and I was like, "yeah...this exactly, this is why it wasn't gonna work."
Then he dated one of my friends for a bit.
Then I ran into him at the grocery store one time.
He's my own personal Coincidental Goth Boy. Just keeps on turning up. I still enjoy looking at the pictures he shares on social media, and yet I still would not date him. At least his band is still together, good for him!
But if I'd been myself at like 18, or similar in terms of where my life was at, in my 20s or so... Yeah, I would have been pretty into him. From what I've seen though, he only dates women in their 40s or older. Sugar mamas! lol
It's weird out there. Still, I think that I enjoyed dating for the brief period when I was doing it, because I wasn't very outcome driven and I had a sense of humor about it all. Like if I were looking to compile a stand up comedy act or a funny book, I think going back to online dating for a few months would give me all the material I'd need. I had fun.
But I believe to this day that guys who have the mindsets like we see here, there would be something in their dating profiles that give them away. I'm sure they don't write out Red Pill stuff or 80/20 theory or rants about Chads or Timothys or whatever... But I feel like there is almost certainly a vibe, there's something that reflects the bitter, salty attitude.
And nothing, not obesity, poverty, toothlessness, dwarfism...not anything I can think of...would put me off faster. Instant nope.
First off it is a numbers game. If a woman only swipes right under one out of 15 or 20 times and the guy does the same the chances of both liking each other and becoming a match are almost 0.
It is very difficult to get an idea of a person's personality from a dating profile even assuming both the guy and girl are honest. I haven't seen any profiles where the girls says I am extremely abrasive, tactless, entitled, elitist etc. yet everyone know plenty of women that are.
The dating sites are mostly a meat market for looks, plus you can narrow it down by things like age, have/want kids, education level/job, interests BTW the filters on some of the apps I've seen suck. I am 41 and I specify women 35-45 because I am not a creep hitting on 20 year olds. The app still sends me search results of 29 year olds 75 miles away.
I go through the results basically: ok this person is pretty enough that I could develop an attraction, her age is in my range, she is close enough to my location, her interests are somewhat compatible (no I don't want to travel on "adventures" constantly or go to country music concerts every weekend) then I swipe right. That results in about >50% of the search results meeting the cutoff (I am probably more tolerant of looks than most as only the most unattractive women will results in a left swipe from me). As a result, I have made more than 150 likes in a few days.
This results in maybe 1 or 2 matches a week so about a single digit success rate. FTR I am 5'11" have a full head of hair, am reasonably fit from the cycling, indicate that I a have a house, a well paying job with assets, am looking for a LTR etc.
I have had better luck getting dates in real life than the apps.
Would it be better for women to swipe on 80% of profiles, only to end up leading those guys on, wasting guys time and even money on dead end dates?
I don't see how it would be. If women were doing that on the apps then guys would likely have complaints about that.
If a woman swipes on you then its a pretty big compliment, since women are very selective in who they swipe on. If a guy swipes on my profile, then all that means is that he didn't vomit when he saw my pics. But says very little about if he is actually interested, since most guys on the apps are playing the numbers game.
That is a big part of the reason I gave up on the apps. For me, a swipe on a guy meant something. It meant I found something about him and his profile pretty darn interesting. But then to find out he was married trying to have an affair, or the most effort he wanted to put in was to invite me over to "cuddle" and watch a movie, not even a date. It became obvious it was a waste of time. And as I said, I was swiping on average guys. Not the Chads. The Chads were worse, sometimes downright rude and crass. So I avoided them.
I think part of the problem is there are just not that many women using the apps because maybe their experience with it is similar to mine. Its a dead end with very very few quality prospects. There might be some but I feel like I'd have to talk to 1000 duds to find one decent guy that I could have s relationship with and who is also looking for a relationship and not just cheap sex.
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