Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I think it's very difficult for an average looking woman or a woman with some minor physical flaws to meet someone today because so much emphasis is placed on physical appearance. Men on dating sites are primarily selecting women by their looks. Women on dating sites who are super cute and hot with well-endowed breasts probably get more offers than average women. Average women are swiped past.
Men today see so many gorgeous hot women all over the internet and on porn sites that they get used to seeing this standard of beauty and this becomes the standard of what they want. The internet and dating sites weren't available in the past. I think men were less picky about appearance.
actually the data from dating sites says the opposite, the average male swipes right on 80% of the profiles he comes across while 80% of women swipe right on THE SAME 15.3% of men in any given area.
those who have it worse are African American women and east Asian men, as they get the fewest "out of the blue" messages.
While I feel attraction is important, if I meet a girl who looks like someone shook a playboy and a centerfold fell out I would really think twice about dating her as I've had a few smoken hot girlfriends and they all brought 100 lbs of drama in a 10 lb sack.
I've said this many times: Despite "advances in technology", humans have actually DE-volved!
Nowadays, if a guy tries to walk up to a woman to chat, the sentiment is: Stalker! Weirdo!! Creeper!!! WHAT does he WANT??!
So you go to on-line dating, which is full of scammers, 15-year-old boys named Chip just having fun fooling guys, women who just want 100 LIKES to stroke their egos, actual damaged women who are game players, and then less than 10% of legit women who eventually find a normal guy.
You just can't win!
That's because most of those guys don't try to walk up to a woman just to "CHAT!" In the 3.5 years I've lived in my apartment, I can count on one hand how often I've "chatted" with a man, and the conversation didn't turn to, "What's your phone number?", or "How about a date?"
Don't be fooled by social media. The average American is not a hot, young Instagram fitness model. The average American is very out of shape and slovenly in their appearance.
In my area, I see plenty of women who pretty, fit, and nicely dressed. Their issue tends to be more about their attitude of entitlement.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mink57
Ever occur to you that those "average" people at Walmart are actually IN relationships?
Do you really think that all those people you see on the street or in a WalMart by themselves DON'T have a partner?
Do you REALLY think that 'average' people are somehow 'alone'?
My impression is that the "Walmart crowd" doesn't aspire to the same things that mainstream (Target and up) Americans do. Many of the people I see in the Walmart stores in my area don't come across as holding out the impossibly perfect mate. They're better at "keeping it real." Again, that's just my impression.
Thanks for all the responses. There seems to be an abundance of different factors that come into play when dating. There are expectations for the guy to make the first date go well, otherwise, the woman will just go back to her OLD options and carry on without giving it much thought.
....That sounds ridiculous to me , if she's "into" you, then one, she better be making an effort too it's not just up to him, but 2 , she's not gonna walk away that easily either.
And all these supposed options , as l said somewhere, that's just an allusion most women even in my world were on date sites for yrs and not just one , saw some of them on 2 and 3 , and still getting absolutely nowhere and giving up. My partner said they're just the worst thing ever and any women l met on one back the day said the same.
Not only taking into account the motives behind why people are going out on dates. Where's the end to this, lol
.....l don't understand this motive thing either, l was very selective and only went for decent women looking for the same thing.lf your using date sites that was actually one of the real advantages l found back in the day you could read about what she had to say and her values, ways, ideals, thinking, right there. And from right there 95% of them l either wouldn't have touched with a barge pole or just had zero interest in anyway. Don't worry about it they give themselves away in stuff they write, pics and other stuff. Be selective only go for decent women and of where it seems like your on the same page.
I'm sorry. I should have been more clear... I meant when a man DOES initiate a conversation because he is interested in a lady and wants to get to know her better.
But let's be honest. This is traditionally how a man WOULD start a relationship: with an introduction/conversation.
I want to meet a woman that is interesting, intelligent, attractive, etc. So if I see someone that I am physically attracted to, then I am compelled to approach her to see if she also has a personality that attracts me.
l don't understand this motive thing, l was very selective and only went for decent women and where we were both looking for the same thing.lf your using date sites that was actually one of the advantages l found back in the day bc you could read about what she had to say and her values, ways and ideals, right there. And from right there 95% of them l either wouldn't have touched with a barge pole or just had zero interest in don't worry about it they give themselves way in stuff they write, certain pics and other stuff. Be selective only go for decent women and of where it seems like your on the same page.
I think it has become so easy for women to be flooded with attention that many of them aren’t even filling out their profiles…perhaps a few words or some generic sentence.
And yet there are 1000s of women in forums that just haven't been able to find anything serious for yrs and yrs on end and often actually seem to be having a worse run than men. Personally l have a few women friends been looking for yrs and yrs and l think all this option stuff is more of an allusion than any real reality. Which people find out a yr or two into finding themselves single, just read all the posts in any forum. Although admittedly, how typical forum posts are to RL, they certainly aren't to mine or my world.
You nailed it. My last relationship was long distance (800 miles) lasted 5 years and it ended because he began drinking in the AM and he lost his life from ingesting a pill laced with fentanyl. I was also married for 26 years no kids. His father was a Marine who beat him up. I did not want a kid being beat up. He beat me up in the end. Deputies had to remove him from the property for domestic violence. Divorce followed.
I am on 2 dating apps and all I seem to find is horny men who want sex only. I do not have casual meaningless sex with strange men. Spectrophillia is more exciting.
I became a widower in my 40's. I've not been in any relationship since then. Now that I'm approaching retirement age, my expectations for any future relationships are pretty much gone.
It's the same problems I see a lot of guys dealing with. You're not particularly handsome and loaded. You have to work lots of hours, sometime on off-shifts, just to get by. So going to the gym and being healthy, while important, can't be a priority. So you already don't usually interact with many people on a regular basis, especially women. Online dating is a joke for men. I've tried using meetup.com for local singles, and that hasn't been much better. The singles meetups would often be heavily men and not many women. I've tried getting involved in activities that tend to draw in women (wine tastings, for one) but those tend to be mostly married women.
Not once, ever, have I been hit on by a woman of any age.
I rarely meet women who are single, age-appropriate, and have any interest in dating. I had to rule out the possibility of ever having children when I could never find a woman with any interest in having children. I meet lots of much younger women regularly, usually as baristas, bartenders, waiters, etc. They will talk with me and we'll have some back-and-forth banter, but there's never any interest beyond that. This crap I hear about younger women preferring to date older men, I've never seen much actual proof of that happening.
A few men I know my age have found wives from outside the US. Some of those relationships have worked, more have not.
I don't know what's broken and how to fix things. I never imagined it would be like this.
You nailed it. My last relationship was long distance (800 miles) lasted 5 years and it ended because he began drinking in the AM and he lost his life from ingesting a pill laced with fentanyl. I was also married for 26 years no kids. His father was a Marine who beat him up. I did not want a kid being beat up. He beat me up in the end. Deputies had to remove him from the property for domestic violence. Divorce followed.
I am on 2 dating apps and all I seem to find is horny men who want sex only. I do not have casual meaningless sex with strange men. Spectrophillia is more exciting.
Good friend of mine (Male) is trying to get back in the scene. His wife passed 2 yrs ago (he's 47). What he runs into is there is this weird dichotomy even among the women. He doesn't want someone for just a hookup, but also doesn't want the other extreme of a woman for whom sex is not much more than a footnote. Whatever happened to healthy monogamy (or even casual dating with just a single person at a time) where sex was fun and at least semi-frequent?
it's either "f-- everyone you meet the first night" or "Ugh. Sex".
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
