Dating Struggles in this day and age (singles, husband, younger)
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You nailed it. My last relationship was long distance (800 miles) lasted 5 years and it ended because he began drinking in the AM and he lost his life from ingesting a pill laced with fentanyl. I was also married for 26 years no kids. His father was a Marine who beat him up. I did not want a kid being beat up. He beat me up in the end. Deputies had to remove him from the property for domestic violence. Divorce followed.
I am on 2 dating apps and all I seem to find is horny men who want sex only. I do not have casual meaningless sex with strange men. Spectrophillia is more exciting.
l'm sorry about that but yep , that's exactly what every woman l met told me too back in the day, word for word just about.
Good friend of mine (Male) is trying to get back in the scene. His wife passed 2 yrs ago (he's 47). What he runs into is there is this weird dichotomy even among the women. He doesn't want someone for just a hookup, but also doesn't want the other extreme of a woman for whom sex is not much more than a footnote. Whatever happened to healthy monogamy (or even casual dating with just a single person at a time) where sex was fun and at least semi-frequent?
it's either "f-- everyone you meet the first night" or "Ugh. Sex".
I’ve noticed this. It seems like many women will lose interest fast if there isn’t some getting physical talk to spice things up….I assume because other men are coming at them with that angle in various ways.
I'm sorry. I should have been more clear... I meant when a man DOES initiate a conversation because he is interested in a lady and wants to get to know her better.
But let's be honest. This is traditionally how a man WOULD start a relationship: with an introduction/conversation.
I want to meet a woman that is interesting, intelligent, attractive, etc. So if I see someone that I am physically attracted to, then I am compelled to approach her to see if she also has a personality that attracts me.
See? What I bolded is exactly what I don't want!
I don't want to be approached by some stranger who thinks I'm attractive. It's happened to me before, and sometimes it can be downright scary! Have had two men follow me up to bottom of the stairs where I live because they "wanted to get to know me." (their words; not mine!)
Have walked to the store and some dude followed me. Actually waited outside for me. I had to get the store manager involved (who, luckily was about 6'3, and 250lbs!)
The point is, women have to be vigilant these days, for their own safety. So, yeah. If a man approaches me, my first question would be, "What do you WANT?"
I don't want to be approached by some stranger who thinks I'm attractive. It's happened to me before, and sometimes it can be downright scary! Have had two men follow me up to bottom of the stairs where I live because they "wanted to get to know me." (their words; not mine!)
Have walked to the store and some dude followed me. Actually waited outside for me. I had to get the store manager involved (who, luckily was about 6'3, and 250lbs!)
The point is, women have to be vigilant these days, for their own safety. So, yeah. If a man approaches me, my first question would be, "What do you WANT?"
Well, men are visual... They notice appearance first and probably put it above most qualities. It's not like they are going to go up to a woman because they assume she has a good personality.
I don't want to be approached by some stranger who thinks I'm attractive. It's happened to me before, and sometimes it can be downright scary! Have had two men follow me up to bottom of the stairs where I live because they "wanted to get to know me." (their words; not mine!)
Have walked to the store and some dude followed me. Actually waited outside for me. I had to get the store manager involved (who, luckily was about 6'3, and 250lbs!)
The point is, women have to be vigilant these days, for their own safety. So, yeah. If a man approaches me, my first question would be, "What do you WANT?"
So long as men are going to be expected to do the approaching, men are going to approach.
So long as men are going to be expected to do the approaching, men are going to approach.
Well, I don't 'approach'... and one significant reason is what Mink57 said. Women, in general, do not want to be approached... however, they are free to approach me, which sometimes they do... and I have no issue with it. Doesn't mean they will automatically get a 'yes'... they won't get one now because I am 'off the market'
So long as men are going to be expected to do the approaching, men are going to approach.
There's "approaching" with a friendly hello, and then there's stalking, following someone all the way to their home???! Normal people know there are boundaries not to be crossed, and that's one of them.
I swear...I'm going to have a bunch of business cards printed up. If a man tries to chat me up, I'll simply hand him the card and walk away.
The card will simply say, "NOT INTERESTED"
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Normal people know there are boundaries not to be crossed, and that's one of them. 