Dating Struggles in this day and age (girlfriend, attractiveness, seeking)
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I've shared this in other threads; that I've given up on dating because I'm visually impaired, don't drive, so can't easily "get myself out there". But these recent posts about the low quality of most of the guys that are out there make me feel like a hidden gem, and I should make it my duty to get out there and make myself more available, LOL
The problem can be not getting lost in a sea of pretenders and people that fall for it…which can then leave you feeling worse than when you started.
I am 45 and I usually date men about my same age. Maybe 3 years older or younger.
GoAmericaGo yes you are right. Can't tell you how many people I was dating to tell me they can't get married before they have a threesome. I am open minded but not into hard core kink and to me that seems pretty kinky. Definitely more than I am comfortable with.
Maybe its because my generation pretty my grew up with free porn available 24/7 as soon as the Internet became a thing. The limits of normal got expanded.
Not to mention the video game generation and latch key kids smoking dope with their friends from age 12.
I feel like I sound like a crotchety old fuddy duddy. I don't care what people do but I know what I am personally uncomfortable with having in my house.
Wow...and here I thought much younger from your descriptions...like mid 20's
I don't think you sound like an old fuddy duddy at all for wanting to find someone "normal"
What would you say is the most difficult part of meeting someone new or finding a partner in the modern age?
I haven't read through the whole thread but here's my response:
As far as online dating goes, women are too picky and guys are too needy/creepy. But I honestly feel like women being too picky on the apps is the main problem. Women on dating apps seem to only want a guy who is without a doubt objectively attractive. Guys on dating apps have lower standards and will likely swipe right to women that are just alright looking. But don't get me wrong - I feel like women don't care so much about the objectively good looking factor in real life off of the apps because I'm not that good looking and do really well in real life even though I do badly on the apps.
As far as in real life dating goes, men who follow traditional dating rules/advice tend to do the best with women BUT most men follow modern dating advice and that's why they don't do well. Modern dating advice gives women the impression that you don't want something serious. So the few percentage of guys who follow traditional advice are the ones who are successful with women in real life. But don't get me wrong - men who follow modern dating advice probably do still want something real, they just give off the impression that they don't want something real.
So overall I feel like if men were more objectively good looking and followed traditional dating advice as opposed to modern dating advice then there'd be less dating troubles these days.
I haven't read through the whole thread but here's my response:
As far as online dating goes, women are too picky and guys are too needy/creepy. But I honestly feel like women being too picky on the apps is the main problem. Women on dating apps seem to only want a guy who is without a doubt objectively attractive. Guys on dating apps have lower standards and will likely swipe right to women that are just alright looking. But don't get me wrong - I feel like women don't care so much about the objectively good looking factor in real life off of the apps because I'm not that good looking and do really well in real life even though I do badly on the apps.
As far as in real life dating goes, men who follow traditional dating rules/advice tend to do the best with women BUT most men follow modern dating advice and that's why they don't do well. Modern dating advice gives women the impression that you don't want something serious. So the few percentage of guys who follow traditional advice are the ones who are successful with women in real life. But don't get me wrong - men who follow modern dating advice probably do still want something real, they just give off the impression that they don't want something real.
So overall I feel like if men were more objectively good looking and followed traditional dating advice as opposed to modern dating advice then there'd be less dating troubles these days.
Which creates a perpetual cycle of making guys more and more neeey/creepy. I don’t know if there’s a solution or if it just is what it is.
Haha that kinda makes me think of cats and dogs trying to get along while being natural enemies. Cats are mysterious and aloof while the bigger stronger more effervescent dogs are bouncing around trying to make friends, or being weirdly aggressive for no reason, like they need to hunt and kill that cat.
Its natural for the cats to withdraw and hide until they know for sure if this dog will be friends or try to kill it.
Dogs can respond with seething anger and revenge plots and hatred towards those aloof picky "Princess" cats evading them. Just get more aggressive and domineering about it. Or just hang back, chill, wag a tail, be cool, don't bark. Let the cat get used to you until it understands you don't want to kill it.
But the kitty does have claws and teeth if it really needs it. But mostly it prefers peace and to just get along. And if it likes you it will rub up on you purring.
I haven't read through the whole thread but here's my response:
As far as online dating goes, women are too picky and guys are too needy/creepy. But I honestly feel like women being too picky on the apps is the main problem. Women on dating apps seem to only want a guy who is without a doubt objectively attractive. _ Guys on dating apps have lower standards and will likely swipe right to women that are just alright looking. But don't get me wrong - I feel like women don't care so much about the objectively good looking factor in real life off of the apps because I'm not that good looking and do really well in real life even though I do badly on the apps.
This is getting repeated more and more, so Im curious: Which facts are you basing this blanket statement on? How picky is too picky?
Also, for those who have time, opportunities, and “do better IRL” that’s good, isn’t? If you found something you like why not stick with it? If you don’t like something and think it’s not fair, stop doing it.
It always has been. That's nothing new. Most men have always selected women by their looks. Nothing new there, either. They always have. Before dating sites and online porn, there was TV, Marilyn Monroe (etc.) and magazine porn (Playboy, etc.) I don't know if men's standard of beauty was different before TV and magazine porn, both of which came along in the 50's. Or maybe nothing's changed; maybe all eras are like today, where there were always men and women who had deeper value systems and looked for good character in a partner, along with plenty of others who reacted strongly to superficial qualities.
I think it's very difficult for an average looking woman or a woman with some minor physical flaws to meet someone today because so much emphasis is placed on physical appearance. Men on dating sites are primarily selecting women by their looks. Women on dating sites who are super cute and hot with well-endowed breasts probably get more offers than average women. Average women are swiped past.
Men today see so many gorgeous hot women all over the internet and on porn sites that they get used to seeing this standard of beauty and this becomes the standard of what they want. The internet and dating sites weren't available in the past. I think men were less picky about appearance.
No most of the men on dating sites will swipe right on all but the very least attractive women. Even overweight and fairly unattractive women get inundated with likes and messages.
On the other hand 80% of the women are all swiping on 20% of the guys so the vast majority of guys on the site are getting almost nothing.
No most of the men on dating sites will swipe right on all but the very least attractive women. Even overweight and fairly unattractive women get inundated with likes and messages.
On the other hand 80% of the women are all swiping on 20% of the guys so the vast majority of guys on the site are getting almost nothing.
You’re repeating the same 80% of women go for 20% of men illogical statistics as the other guys who make stuff up here. Is it red pill? I’ll go check, hang on….
You’re repeating the same 80% of women go for 20% of men illogical statistics as the other guys who make stuff up here. Is it red pill? I’ll go check, hang on….
Confirmed. 80/20 Ruled is red pill theory.
Surely there have been experiments or studies on this considering the popularity of apps. Create like 25 female and 25 male profiles — give them similar sounding bios and see how much attention each gets.
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