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Old 11-20-2022, 11:26 AM
 
12,101 posts, read 17,187,073 times
Reputation: 15779

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gray Rider View Post
It seems I certainly got the answer to my question on optics.
I don't think you should be concerned with optics. You're going for compatibility, it's not a job interview, and to be honest, even for a job interview ... but I digress.

Now, if you would rather spend your vacation days/PTO hanging out with your new friend than your old buddies, that I can see.
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Old 11-20-2022, 11:27 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,407 posts, read 108,764,361 times
Reputation: 116481
Quote:
Originally Posted by pathrunner View Post
Even if you're going to see old friends and there will be a lot of partying, and you're not into the XXX scene, then why aren't you taking her? She could meet your friends and you could enjoy the scene.

This is a dilemma because I'd rather see you invest in the new relationship with a different trip. You can always go on that trip next year. Old friends will always be around, but it's your call not mine or ours.
Because he's only been dating her for a few weeks, and he probably made the plans before he'd even met her. Also, he wasn't expecting her to get serious about the dateship so soon. She announced she'd like to make it exclusive very recently, which is why the thread title question arose in his mind. It's fair enough.

And for that matter, we have no idea to what stage the dating has progressed. They may not be at the point where a 10-day getaway together would be appropriate or even practical. 10 days in a hotel room with a guy you've been dating only a month? Some budding relationships couldn't survive that. It's a bit intense. We also don't know if she has any interest at all in Las Vegas. Some people have no interest in it.
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Old 11-20-2022, 11:28 AM
 
12,101 posts, read 17,187,073 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
I mostly fly SW and they are all totally refundable up until the moment of the flight using points.
Thanks will look into that.
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Old 11-20-2022, 11:32 AM
 
Location: Canada
11,839 posts, read 12,122,072 times
Reputation: 30640
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
He has a 10 day trip planned from before he even met this women. I'm really shocked that so many people are advising him to cancel standing plans for someone he's known for five minutes, even if he likes her a lot. If she can't accept that he's got a life outside of their baby relationship, that's a red flag already.
I agree.

I wouldn’t alter my plans for someone I’ve known for 4 weeks.
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Old 11-20-2022, 11:36 AM
 
12,101 posts, read 17,187,073 times
Reputation: 15779
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
He has a 10 day trip planned from before he even met this women. I'm really shocked that so many people are advising him to cancel standing plans for someone he's known for five minutes, even if he likes her a lot. If she can't accept that he's got a life outside of their baby relationship, that's a red flag already.
Not to mention, then you are cancelling plans with your friends.
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Old 11-20-2022, 11:37 AM
 
11,099 posts, read 7,070,069 times
Reputation: 18180
Good points everyone about it being a new relationship. I myself have only been to Vegas once in my life and while I enjoyed it, it was only one day, one night and one good show and I was ready to leave. I certainly wouldn't want to spend 10 whole days there.
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Old 11-20-2022, 11:45 AM
 
Location: Canada
645 posts, read 418,305 times
Reputation: 2899
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
He has a 10 day trip planned from before he even met this women. I'm really shocked that so many people are advising him to cancel standing plans for someone he's known for five minutes, even if he likes her a lot. If she can't accept that he's got a life outside of their baby relationship, that's a red flag already.
It would also be a good opportunity to find out if she trusts you. Although by the sounds of it, you're going to cancel and let your friends down. Let's hope it was worth it in say...2 months from now.
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Old 11-20-2022, 11:47 AM
 
11,099 posts, read 7,070,069 times
Reputation: 18180
Right. Just be honest and keep in touch during the trip. If it doesn't work out, you'll have your answer. Something tells me she will hang in.
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Old 11-20-2022, 11:50 AM
 
Location: Canada
11,839 posts, read 12,122,072 times
Reputation: 30640
Where did Las Vegas come from?

He said an international trip so I was thinking more along the lines of Ibiza.
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Old 11-20-2022, 12:00 PM
 
3,316 posts, read 2,403,870 times
Reputation: 6852
Just go on the vacation. What’s the big deal. Just because it is known for “partying” doesn’t equate to having sex with someone else.
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