cancel a vacation to save a new relationship? (live together, honest, texts)
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You are the one who is accusing the OP of being deceptive about the trip, when it is very debatable whether she had any right to the information in the first place.
Your logic is warped. Not having a "right" to know something is not the same as being ok with being lied to. Poetic justice would be him telling her about the trip and her responding by saying it's ok, she needs the time to buy Christmas presents for her two toddlers (that she never mentioned because he didn't have a "right" to know about them yet).
I vote strongly to proceed with the vacation. Be completely transparent with her about it and she should be understanding if she is a decent person to date.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oceangaia
Your logic is warped. Not having a "right" to know something is not the same as being ok with being lied to. Poetic justice would be him telling her about the trip and her responding by saying it's ok, she needs the time to buy Christmas presents for her two toddlers (that she never mentioned because he didn't have a "right" to know about them yet).
Your comparison is totally asinine. After the trip, it’s in the past and should not cause an issue. Two kids ain’t going away and will always have an impact on the relationship.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter
Your comparison is totally asinine. After the trip, it’s in the past and should not cause an issue. Two kids ain’t going away and will always have an impact on the relationship.
I agree, bad comparison, but if I didn't ask if they've had children, I can't blame someone or hold it against them if I just met them and they hadn't mentioned it.
When my husband and I had been an "official" couple for about two weeks he had to go on a pre-scheduled trip for a week. (Not a vacation, a working trip)
The separation was agony for both of us but our reunion more than made up for it when he got back. We still talk about it.
I think you've made the right decision, tell her you want to be exclusive, tell her about the trip, go.
Hopefully your reunion when you get back will more than make up for the separation.
Come on. Tell her you're going on vacation and look forward to seeing her when you return. Go and have fun. Seriously. If a new relationship can't "survive" a vacation then its over before it even starts.
This. Be open and honest. Regretful if you feel the need. The fact that OP has any feelings about this means he cares about the woman, and that's a good sign. But really, this discussion boils down to the above quote.
He has a 10 day trip planned from before he even met this women. I'm really shocked that so many people are advising him to cancel standing plans for someone he's known for five minutes, even if he likes her a lot. If she can't accept that he's got a life outside of their baby relationship, that's a red flag already.
Your comparison is totally asinine. After the trip, it’s in the past and should not cause an issue. Two kids ain’t going away and will always have an impact on the relationship.
Doubt and distrust can linger around for as long as kids.
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