Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I can't decipher her behavior or yours, OP. My contribution is this. If your gut asks you a question, you almost always know the answer. Part of you wants to ignore the answer, which is why your gut speaks up.
I think it was hard to realize for the OP because she seemed to be having so much fun AND agreed to meet him. That would throw anyone…like, what just happened?
!
It wouldn't throw anyone who is used to dating these days. That's just what women DO. They won't say anything to you - they just ghost. They don't seem to want any chance at confrontation so they just act happy and into a guy even though they have no intention of ever seeing him again.
I should've given a little bit more background in my original post.
I've been acquainted with this girl for almost a year in group settings and I actually know her ex-boyfriend. Me and him are no longer talking (but that's over a completely different and unrelated issue). She is no longer in contact with him either and that's another unrelated issue as well. But I say all that to say that's the reason I was totally surprised by her flaky behavior. I also don't have a history of bad first dates. I get past a 2nd and 3rd date like 90% of the time unless I end things. I don't say that to brag, but that's the honest truth.
So it's been 3 days now and I never responded to her apology. She keeps checking my IG story posts, but she hasn't reached out again. I wouldn't be mad if she isn't interested in me, but standing me up just baffled me. We also had a lot in common and meshed well, but whatever lol.
Also, I see a lot of opinions about taking separate cars. Her concern about that was legitimate because me and her hung out in a group setting about 3 months ago the night her car was vandalized. Kias are easy to steal, but apparently Kia Souls are a bit harder lol. There is a big theft ring in Ohio that targets them. The ring consists of mostly teenagers so they don't get much time in jail.
Last edited by MisterOneal; 03-20-2023 at 09:49 PM..
It sounds like you're pretty interested in her. If she were as interested in you as you are in her, would she leave this hanging in the air? I don't think so.
There's an expression, "the meeting of the minds," which implies that both sides know the score and agree to do something. Sometimes that causes things to go off the rails. You thought it could lead to something serious but she's just having fun, for instance. You thought the night was just getting started but she was exhausted from work. You thought she was over the last boyfriend but during the date she realized she wasn't. The fact that you're surprised tells me that the minds didn't meet. If you had an answer, would you like the result any better?
During the two hours that you enjoyed talking and laughing at dinner, did she express concern about her Kia in the parking lot? Was she slurring her speech or anything to support the drunk claim? Since you've known her awhile and since you knew her ex, did it seem like she really worried for her personal safety if she rode with you? Was she mortified to realize she'd stood you up? I'm doubting these things.
I should've given a little bit more background in my original post.
I've been acquainted with this girl for almost a year in group settings and I actually know her ex-boyfriend. Me and him are no longer talking (but that's over a completely different and unrelated issue). She is no longer in contact with him either and that's another unrelated issue as well. But I say all that to say that's the reason I was totally surprised by her flaky behavior. I also don't have a history of bad first dates. I get past a 2nd and 3rd date like 90% of the time unless I end things. I don't say that to brag, but that's the honest truth.
So it's been 3 days now and I never responded to her apology. She keeps checking my IG story posts, but she hasn't reached out again. I wouldn't be mad if she isn't interested in me, but standing me up just baffled me. We also had a lot in common and meshed well, but whatever lol.
Also, I see a lot of opinions about taking separate cars. Her concern about that was legitimate because me and her hung out in a group setting about 3 months ago the night her car was vandalized. Kias are easy to steal, but apparently Kia Souls are a bit harder lol. There is a big theft ring in Ohio that targets them. The ring consists of mostly teenagers so they don't get much time in jail.
It sounds like a honest mistake and she wants a second chance. She reached out to you, the ball is in your corner. I don't agree with the others to wait until she contacts you again - she apologized, what else is there to say from her side? It is your turn.
Maybe she usually doesn't drink much but went with the flow because she had so much fun with you. Then she drove and got lost or realized she is way more drunk than she thought and went home. Passed out. She may not have heard you call because her phone was silent during your date.
I don't see any red flags (yet), especially since you sort of know her for a while already.
This woman knows how to use a phone. She's probably posted 500 IG stories and 30 Tik Tok reels since you last went out. People are literally holding their phones all the time nowadays so if you don't hear from someone it's probably because they have very little interest in talking to you
Sorry guy. You were just the first half of her evening. The part you got to pay for.
Then she went to the bad boys place. The dude she has sex with. He just won't spend a nickel on her.
Where she "immediately passed out" Good thing he has a bed there for her to fall into.
You can do way better dude. Move along.
/\ This! Do yourself a favor, lose her number and never contact her again. She played you.
So I went on a first date with a girl last night. We went to dinner. The atmosphere was great, food was great, our conversation was great, we talked and laughed for 2 hours straight.
So once we were done, we decided to drive separately to a piano bar so that we could talk more. We would've rode together but she did want to leaver her car. Her car was recently broken into (she drives a Kia which are highly desired by thieves). Anyway, I arrive at the piano bar 20 minutes later. I sit there thinking she would arrive a few minutes after me. Fifteen minutes goes by and I attempt to call her...no answer. So I send a text saying "I'm here"...
She then texts me "I had a great night. Thank you. ☺️"...which confuses me so I respond "Huh? Are we not meeting at the piano bar? Did I say or do something wrong?"....no response at all and I basically got stood up on the second half of the date.
So I awaken to this message from her...
"Sh*t, sorry about last night. You didn't do anything wrong. I was a little tipsy and got confused. Then once I got home I immediately passed out."
She had two alcoholic drinks and I had a Sprite so I get it, but I don't know about this. I did really enjoy her though. Should I give her another chance?
'
Of course why not , she explained and was very nice about it, why wouldn't you give it another shot.
lf it's true which it prop is , it's funny really.
/\ This! Do yourself a favor, lose her number and never contact her again. She played you.
Sad but true, she needed a sucker to pay for her meal and then moved on to the AH that treats her like garbage. Meanwhile the first guy would probably treat her like Queen. OP you deserve better than a pinata who will suck you dry and not in a rough and naughty kind of way. Good luck.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
