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Old 12-05-2023, 11:59 AM
 
Location: US
187 posts, read 211,869 times
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Curious, how many people do most of us meet that we are truly compatible with?

I would say over my 20 years of dating I've only met 3 to 5 ladies that could have/did last multiple years.
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Old 12-05-2023, 12:04 PM
 
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
44,550 posts, read 81,117,303 times
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For me it was one, I met her in 1972 in college and we got married in 1974, our 50th anniversary coming up in 2024.

Before that I never dated any girls more than 1-2 times, before realizing that they were not suitable for me long term.
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Old 12-05-2023, 12:04 PM
 
Location: southwestern PA
22,572 posts, read 47,633,000 times
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I met one, and I hung onto to him for decades now
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Old 12-05-2023, 12:50 PM
 
Location: a little corner of a very big universe
867 posts, read 721,946 times
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Just one for me, but his number was higher.
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Old 12-05-2023, 01:18 PM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
20,369 posts, read 14,644,040 times
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I don't believe that anyone is perfect (myself included) and I've never met anyone who had every. single. preference. that I might conceive of in my head checked off. So it was only ever a question of what am I compromising on? And how much does it matter?

The stuff that does matter...I have tried to compromise on in the past and that didn't work out well. Core values and such. Not good to try and get by and live with things that are going to make you miserable. Been there, did that.

Husband I have now...he's not quite as active as I might like and I want him to clean his bathroom more than he seems willing to do. These are small things. We share the big values, the good stuff, and we both love one another a lot. I cannot think of anyone I've ever met who would be a better choice...I didn't expect to find anyone who was as good a match for me as he is, and I didn't expect to commit to anything like a marriage again after my first one ended.
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Old 12-05-2023, 01:50 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
20,758 posts, read 19,958,245 times
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It seems like an easy to answer question, but I'll make it difficult for you

I have met none that I wanted to stay with long term and that fit me.

But I have met many that were truly long term potential and really nice guys. I just did not appreciate them and was looking for more of a thrill.
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Old 12-05-2023, 02:11 PM
 
2,964 posts, read 1,640,080 times
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One.
We've known each other/been together/married for 45+ years.
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Old 12-05-2023, 02:22 PM
 
Location: South Raleigh
505 posts, read 261,104 times
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Two. Married both of them ( not at the same time ). Divorced both, one after 19 months, the other after 19 years. Two dumbest things I have ever done, especially the second one. I still cannot believe that I could have been that dumb, but was.

"Compatibility" doesn't really describe it. Shared important values ( honesty, fidelity, kindness, respect, and more ), kindred spirits, great rapport, genuine respect for differences.

But in my naivety did not appreciate enough what was there until it was gone.

Fortunately, they have both remarried and seem to be quite happy in their new lives, and have done very well. And I have adjusted to and accepted not ever ( again ) finding the right one. So I am happy too.
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Old 12-05-2023, 02:39 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
20,758 posts, read 19,958,245 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Upminster-1 View Post
Two. Married both of them ( not at the same time ). Divorced both, one after 19 months, the other after 19 years. Two dumbest things I have ever done, especially the second one. I still cannot believe that I could have been that dumb, but was.

"Compatibility" doesn't really describe it. Shared important values ( honesty, fidelity, kindness, respect, and more ), kindred spirits, great rapport, genuine respect for differences.

But in my naivety did not appreciate enough what was there until it was gone.

Fortunately, they have both remarried and seem to be quite happy in their new lives, and have done very well. And I have adjusted to and accepted not ever ( again ) finding the right one. So I am happy too.
What happened???
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Old 12-05-2023, 02:59 PM
 
Location: South Raleigh
505 posts, read 261,104 times
Reputation: 1351
In both cases I was not happy, but should have been. Now I have more sense, and simply choose to be happy.
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