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I have to agree that it would be the right thing to call and explain, or at the minimum write an email. Sitting back wondering what went wrong thinking; "what did I do" and "what did I say wrong?" is a terrible feeling, and it can leed to some obsessive thoughts and behaviors. If the dates went well for both of you she will have a lot of questions, which leads me to wonder why you don't want to see her again?
Is "disappearing" on someone you are dating for maybe 2-3 times or so a disrespectful way to end it? By disappearing I mean just suddenly stopping to return any communication from them.
yes, a real deal breaker, which shows, that person, doesn't have the ability to talk things out...or, isn't certain if your that person's idea of compatiblity. Apparently, he/she is not that attracted to you...and is also very disrespectful. If they return, it's only b/c they know you'll go out when he/she returns...stop all communication and find someone else...don't allow this person to play with you...or your heart.
In an otherwise healthy, normal relationship (no stalkers, etc), I think it's immature, rude, and cowardly to just dissappear on someone.
Whether you need a whole break-up discussion depends on how serious the relationship was, how invested the individuals were in the relationship, and how long the two were together. But even if it was just a few dates, a simple "this isn't working for me" should not be too much to ask (no lengthy explanation necessary). It's just decent to let the other person know you're intent and not waste their time.
Most often you aren't doing it because the person is a stalker, you are choosing to just disappear because you are a coward.
It's very rude and disrespectful. Be an adult and tell the truth. You aren't saving anyone's feelings but your own by acting in such an immature fashion.
I think it's a pretty crappy thing to just disappaer on someone that you are dating. I had that happen to me once years ago. I was involved with a woman for 4 months when she all of a sudden vanished. She stopped returning my calls and ignored my two letters and after three months of being gone, I then found out that she was dating a friend of mine. Our friendship came to an abrupt end when I found out the truth. Looking back at that time in my life, I still feel that she could have at least had the courtesy of telling me that it was over between us. When you are involved with someone and everything seems to be going well and then that other person just vanishes, I have no respect for that person. It's also a very sh^%ty thing to do to someone.
It could be rude if you've been seeing each other for a while. My ex disappeared when he reported to Japan as per his orders. Didn't hear from him for, like, three or four months, so I considered it over and moved on. One day I got an international phone call from him randomly out of the blue. I didnt' answer it. He didn't call back. If you've only been on 2-3 dates, and one of you dissapears, it's not terribly rude imo. The mature thing to do would be to say it in person, but it's better than getting an email or text saying so.
You sound like such a sweet guy and she sounds like a real mean monster
Quote:
Originally Posted by MKE-Ed
I think it's a pretty crappy thing to just disappaer on someone that you are dating. I had that happen to me once years ago. I was involved with a woman for 4 months when she all of a sudden vanished. She stopped returning my calls and ignored my two letters and after three months of being gone, I then found out that she was dating a friend of mine. Our friendship came to an abrupt end when I found out the truth. Looking back at that time in my life, I still feel that she could have at least had the courtesy of telling me that it was over between us. When you are involved with someone and everything seems to be going well and then that other person just vanishes, I have no respect for that person. It's also a very sh^%ty thing to do to someone.
Ok, help me out, since this thread is very timely for me.
Three dates over 1 and 1/2 months, preceded by 1 month of phone calls, distance factor was almost 2 hours by car, and I basically reconsidered since I could see we were both "set in our ways" (her more than me, in my observations, as she has never moved out of a very small area and evidently never will).
Nice person but it wouldn't work long-term. Should I explain or is drifting apart ok?
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