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Ok, so dating and not wanting to just work on one person, not have it work out and then start all over at square one with someone resetting things for months.
How do I describe this....I guess I'm looking for advice to avoid a situation where someone gets hurt. Any advice?
1. I am being open that I am not exclusive and intend to date.
2. If one of them starts to get ahem *cozy* with me and seems cool with it then I won't flip to exclusive, might just be the level she wants at this time.
3. I would feel a little uncomfortable with having more than one woman I'm cozy with on a semi-regular basis...
Curious to hear your stories and opinions on pitfalls to avoid, things done right or wrong....this is ALL new to me.
First I think the less you say the better. Don't try to explain yourself or your actions, as soon as you do, you are dead man walking. I think you can make it clear you are just taking it easy and getting out and meeting new people, but I wouldn't go further. Wouldn't get too intense about it or overthink it. And if they jump you, they jump you. Still wouldn't try to explain yourself or talk about what you are doing elsewhere. Go with the flow. And then when you find someone you like then go with it and drop the others.
I used to have to keep a poster board diagram of all the women I was dating because I would loose track of things. One thing I learned was don't date 3 of the 4 women in one apartment. I would try to keep the number of active women you are dating to a few.
Ok, so dating and not wanting to just work on one person, not have it work out and then start all over at square one with someone resetting things for months.
How do I describe this....I guess I'm looking for advice to avoid a situation where someone gets hurt. Any advice?
1. I am being open that I am not exclusive and intend to date.
2. If one of them starts to get ahem *cozy* with me and seems cool with it then I won't flip to exclusive, might just be the level she wants at this time.
3. I would feel a little uncomfortable with having more than one woman I'm cozy with on a semi-regular basis...
Curious to hear your stories and opinions on pitfalls to avoid, things done right or wrong....this is ALL new to me.
Ok, so dating and not wanting to just work on one person, not have it work out and then start all over at square one with someone resetting things for months.
How do I describe this....I guess I'm looking for advice to avoid a situation where someone gets hurt. Any advice?
1. I am being open that I am not exclusive and intend to date.
2. If one of them starts to get ahem *cozy* with me and seems cool with it then I won't flip to exclusive, might just be the level she wants at this time.
3. I would feel a little uncomfortable with having more than one woman I'm cozy with on a semi-regular basis...
Curious to hear your stories and opinions on pitfalls to avoid, things done right or wrong....this is ALL new to me.
It's difficult for me to truly "date" more than one person. Even if I have a grand success of finding some promising men, and meet them all, I've always found that there is one that rises (no pun intended here!!) to the top. If I was on a 2nd or 3rd date with someone, and they told me that they were dating others, I expect that it would be a very "cool" date - I have a feeling I would not be myself and I'd be a bit...I don't know...distant. I would not want to let myself think of this person romantically at all, since they could quite easily be thinking of someone else the entire time. Probably sounds sappy, but that is how I am. Now if we are just talking about "meeting" people, that is a different story. Initial meetings I don't even consider a date - and I've actually met more than one guy on the same day, so I have no problem with that at all.
Of course I'm assuming that you are NOT talking about the "S" word here, right? Once that starts, I'm totally a one-man woman, and I'd expect complete exclusivity - in fact I would discuss that first.
First I think the less you say the better. Don't try to explain yourself or your actions, as soon as you do, you are dead man walking. I think you can make it clear you are just taking it easy and getting out and meeting new people, but I wouldn't go further. Wouldn't get too intense about it or overthink it. And if they jump you, they jump you. Still wouldn't try to explain yourself or talk about what you are doing elsewhere. Go with the flow. And then when you find someone you like then go with it and drop the others.
I used to have to keep a poster board diagram of all the women I was dating because I would loose track of things. One thing I learned was don't date 3 of the 4 women in one apartment. I would try to keep the number of active women you are dating to a few.
You SHOULD be on a poster....with a big red line crossed though your picture.
I've never done the multi-dating thing. But I've always had a lot of platonic male friends. I guess that based on my experiences with all of my platonic male friends, I had a good idea of what I wanted in a boyfriend. So when I meet a guy that I really click with personality and common interest-wise, I KNOW that he's the one I want to consider pursuing a relationship. Of course, I still take my time to make sure that he's a good person and trustworthy.
I guess that I find each man individual and unique enough that I've never been confused about which ones were boyfriend material and which ones were not. It's not enough to be pleasant looking and overall compatible. There has to be a real spark of me wanting to be exclusive with him.
I'm also a very patient person. If no one is really sparking my fancy or standing out to me as truly special, I will not date a mediocre nice person just for the sake of dating and having male company. I would rather wait, be completely single, for the right man to come along to date. I've never wanted to be in a mediocre relationship, then to meet a great guy and have to dump a mediocre boyfriend in order to date the great guy. That isn't fair to the mediocre guy and it just goes against my sense of integrity and moral values.
I pretty much assume if I meet a guy from online dating, that he's probably going out with more than just me. I'm fine with that as long as we're keeping things casual but if he wants to get "cozy" I'd better be the only one.
I think it's fine to be casually dating a few people at one time.
Like ChessieMom also said, I think my feelings for a guy would be diminished if I found he was more than casually interested in several women.
Ideally, you should keep your mouth shut about your other relationships. But don't lie if asked.
Women are territorial and we despise players. But I think most of us are fair-minded and are probably doing the same thing ourselves when it comes to casual dating. Does that make sense?
Once the line is crossed and physical affection begins - even if it's not sex - most women would like to feel like the relationship is becoming or has become exclusive. (I'm thinking this out as I write)
So, probably a good rule of thumb might be to avoid getting too close until you're sure what you want from the relationship. And if you intend it to be casual sex, then you need to figure out how to deal with her (or your other women's) emotional issues in advance.
I pretty much assume if I meet a guy from online dating, that he's probably going out with more than just me. I'm fine with that as long as we're keeping things casual but if he wants to get "cozy" I'd better be the only one.
That's kinda where I'm at in my mind. I'm not trying to overthink this...trying to pre-think this just so I don't get caught flat footed in certain situations.
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go on "the bachelor"
