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I have been struggling with a similar situation where my wife used to be three times a day on the weekends and every eve. at least once before bed. Now after 14 years the last 5 have dropped down to maybe once a month for a few mins. and I'm still at the every nite level so it's been pretty tough to deal with and her attitude is that she just doesn't want to have sex so I have to deal with that and had better not have an affair. After years of being patient and her being checked out medically I have started looking for someone for a long term strictly Friends With Benefits relationship. I know the outcome if caught will be a nasty breakup but you can only deal with so much sexual frustration. I would say look at your life and how important sex is for you and you might also consider the same to fill in that empty spot in your life. And I'm available if you want to talk
Why not just buy some-how do you say-toys? Why become a cheat?
Why not just buy some-how do you say-toys? Why become a cheat?
You are going to tell a man to buy some toys? How demeaning is that?
What is wrong with our society that people suddenly think men are going to stop cheating on their wives? It happens ALL the time and it has happened for eons. If you don't like it then marry an old man in a wheel chair or a faithful Tom who you know will never get tired of you.
If a woman stops having sex with her spouse than she is driving him into an affair. No virile young man is going to settle with that setup for the rest of his life. Most would rather have their willy chopped off.
Lifeiscomplicated, I believe it's more than the weight. I don't want to be rude, so please don't take it as such. But, it seems you complain often and play the roll of the victim. A roll that is obviously a comfort for you. If a car gets stuck in the mud, you get it out. Perhaps you should be thinking along those lines. If it were me, I would ask you to lose the attitude before starting on the weight. As for the sex, men are comfortable and satisfied with quick sex. He is a man! Don't confuse romance with a blowjob. Blow him often. Don't complicate his blowjob with romance. If he gets what he wants, you will too. Hush!!! don't talk too much. Wish you luck.
You are going to tell a man to buy some toys? How demeaning is that?
What is wrong with our society that people suddenly think men are going to stop cheating on their wives? It happens ALL the time and it has happened for eons. If you don't like it then marry an old man in a wheel chair or a faithful Tom who you know will never get tired of you.
If a woman stops having sex with her spouse than she is driving him into an affair. No virile young man is going to settle with that setup for the rest of his life. Most would rather have their willy chopped off.
So you are saying you find the NORMAL human inclination to masturbate demeaning? That, my friend, has been used to help since the beginning of the world and human existence! I suggested "toys" because these days they are making some pretty fantastic ones that can help. And, may even peak curiosity for the other partner and spark new interest and thrill.
What I am saying is that if a person has a mate that they love, why throw it all away-risking what most NORMAL human beings consider a betrayal in the biggest sense-just forsexual gratification? If you are unhappy in a marriage and have lost that loving feeling, then why not just GET OUT of it before INTENTIONALLY, majorly inflicting pain?
Yes, I do agree that a woman is guilty of torture if she refuses to be intimate. I mean really, is it that difficult? Most males are satisfied with a quick release. Normally, the extension is to insure pleasure for the other partner (female) anyway.
Sorry to OP for getting of course. I've even forgotten the original thread subject-LOL!
Last edited by picklejuice; 06-26-2009 at 08:11 AM..
We've been married for several years, have two small kids (I just had a baby last year.) We've never really had much of a sex life due to a past porn addiction of his and an online affair, but those things have been over for a long time, and it's still non-existent. He says it's because I've gained weight and he's no longer attracted to me, but he loves me. How is that love? I read somewhere this could be emotional abuse. I'm losing weight, but am not sure that will change anything. In the meantime, I resent him and don't even want to be around him. I asked him what kind of sexual outlet he has and he said he just suffers. I'm overweight, but you would think I was an elephant the way he acts. I'm 5'5'' and 199. I plan to lose 50 lbs, but Lord knows if that will even be good enough for him... I should also mention that we are like roommates-- there's really no affection at all except for a pop kiss every now and then or a hug. Thanks for reading.
When you say 199....that is just a ploy into believing you are not as heavy as you really are. I think you are kidding yourself. You are 200 at least.
Marriage is a selfless union. Stop nagging as to what HE is doing wrong and focus more on yourself. Would you want to be married to you???
Lifeiscomplicated, I believe it's more than the weight. I don't want to be rude, so please don't take it as such. But, it seems you complain often and play the roll of the victim. A roll that is obviously a comfort for you. If a car gets stuck in the mud, you get it out. Perhaps you should be thinking along those lines. If it were me, I would ask you to lose the attitude before starting on the weight. As for the sex, men are comfortable and satisfied with quick sex. He is a man! Don't confuse romance with a blowjob. Blow him often. Don't complicate his blowjob with romance. If he gets what he wants, you will too. Hush!!! don't talk too much. Wish you luck.
We've been married for several years, have two small kids (I just had a baby last year.) We've never really had much of a sex life due to a past porn addiction of his and an online affair, but those things have been over for a long time, and it's still non-existent. He says it's because I've gained weight and he's no longer attracted to me, but he loves me. How is that love? I read somewhere this could be emotional abuse. I'm losing weight, but am not sure that will change anything. In the meantime, I resent him and don't even want to be around him. I asked him what kind of sexual outlet he has and he said he just suffers. I'm overweight, but you would think I was an elephant the way he acts. I'm 5'5'' and 199. I plan to lose 50 lbs, but Lord knows if that will even be good enough for him... I should also mention that we are like roommates-- there's really no affection at all except for a pop kiss every now and then or a hug. Thanks for reading.
I somehow doubt he's just "suffering" in lieu of sex. If he's not doing it with you, he's doing it with someone.
I agree with another poster who said loose the wait and have lots of affairs. If your husband does not want to touch you, lots of guy would love the chance.
if you put on 100 lbs the problem is obvious, he is having emotional and mental problems get him counseling and viagra asap.
what is wrong with this guy. remember no matter what happens in the marriage its all about him.
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