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I'm so sick of hearing this. Sure it's the ideal weight if you 16 years old. After the birth of my first child in my late twenties. I decided to lose weight. My height is 5'4. when i got down to 115 all my family and friend started asking me if I was on crack. I didn't lose the weight over night either, it took about a year of excercise and not having a lot of money for food after my divorce.
At 5'4 and 150lbs I have many of guys hitting on me. My husband adores me and all I have to do is smile to get him aroused. Maybe it's the breasts and the curves and I have great legs from working hard. I'd rather look like Jane Russell than Twiggy.
Hi LABART,
Try not to be hung up on the word ideal. A billionaire is a financial ideal. Though I would discard men hitting on you as a meaningful metric. Your husband is a meaningful metric because he is offering you more than a slice of deli meat the others are offering.
That is underweight and unhealthy, even for someone who is small-boned.
Hi Avienne,
Yeah I don't think so. This one is 5' 3". It is certainly not a requirement to be 110lb but to believe this is unhealthy is delusional. Youth also happens to be ideal.
The OP posted this thread almost two years ago. Perhaps by now, she has lost the 50 pounds, divorced the hubby who was more like a roommate than a hubby, remarried and has a passionate sex life.
We've been married for several years, have two small kids (I just had a baby last year.) We've never really had much of a sex life due to a past porn addiction of his and an online affair, but those things have been over for a long time, and it's still non-existent. He says it's because I've gained weight and he's no longer attracted to me, but he loves me. How is that love? I read somewhere this could be emotional abuse. I'm losing weight, but am not sure that will change anything. In the meantime, I resent him and don't even want to be around him. I asked him what kind of sexual outlet he has and he said he just suffers. I'm overweight, but you would think I was an elephant the way he acts. I'm 5'5'' and 199. I plan to lose 50 lbs, but Lord knows if that will even be good enough for him... I should also mention that we are like roommates-- there's really no affection at all except for a pop kiss every now and then or a hug. Thanks for reading.
In my opinion, you should lose him and find someone who appreciates you for who you are, rather than trying to change you.
What's wrong with that? Not everyone's idea of beauty is looking like a starving Ethiopian, and what's on the outside should not be everything.
Hi go phillies,
Because 110-125lbs is not a starving Ethiopian for someone who is in the mid 5' and 200 lbs at 5' 5" is not a healthy weight. This is especially true in one's 20s. One should settle in a bit heavier in their thirties. My 105lb girl friend at 18 was was certainly very healthy though I would expect weight gain to a 125lb to be perfectly "ideal" as she ages. Why play these stupid games?
This is what goes up on the bill boards. That is going to be a best metric for "ideal" since it represents the actual demand.
They are not starving Ethiopians anymore than being a bit heavier is buffalo country. Yet these threads are often started by those who claim the only alternative to a size 18 is a size 2(these sized have also expanded BTW). It also seems news to people that they are not "ideal" to many tastes and certainly to the taste of very few when they head for the fringes. It also ignores a fact that we are much heavier now than before, and its clearly not ideal from a stand point of health , beauty and conservation. Since its open season on the "Ethiopians" then its open season in "buffalo" country. And we are not any reference for "normal."
There are two things wrong with this OP. One is she seems to be one of those who thinks someone would change after marriage. He lacked desire seemingly immediately. Then she changed for the worse in a direction statistically unlikely to be desirable for anyone. Thus my advice is since we do not live in an ideal world, rapid changes in weight, smoking habits gambling, or the like is probably going to put stress on the marriage.
So as people keep defining ideally healthy at 20-30 pounds overweight and freely tossing insults as if people of normal weight are a dessicated carcass, than expect the same.
Take him out for a nice relaxing walk, prepare his favorite dinner, romance him, send him his favorite non-alcoholic drink to his office, hide a love note on his briefcase, be sweet and caring, etc.
When its a guy that complains about his girl not wanting to have sex, he is told to do those things. I don't see how it won't work the other way around .
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