I would post this (wife, woman, sex, call)

[Connecticut Pam]

God I hate the game playing that goes on inside work environments and unfortunately I would say that most of them have these kinds of issues going on. The issues don't always involve women trying to manipulate a man into liking them but for the most part the games make Monopoly look like a game of marbles!

I am a semi-retired Senior Administrative Assistant and my last position was a bit different from anything I had ever worked at before as it involved a lot more Customer Service type work and I loved it. My boss was very young and I did respect him but hated his work ethic. He was out of work EVERY Monday, late all the time, was never available and more. He and I banged heads constantly about needing to have him available to make decisions as I could not...it was a seniority thing. Anyhow, I did not want to be involved in all the little food fests that went on in the office, hated the birthday cakes and celebrations that went on and at times felt forced to participate when I didn't want to. I had and have a weight problem and felt that this was just another contributing problem to my weight.

The last straw on this job and the reason I retired early? I got sick unfortunately on my Birthday. My boss accused me of lying to him about being sick just so I wouldn't have to come in and eat birthday cake on my birthday...can you imagine? I was so angry I was literally shaking. AND..where was he?? On a skiing trip and he made the sad sorry mistake of leaving his accusations about me lying on email...what a DORK. I forwarded his email to the Director of Human Resources and scheduled a meeting for the following Monday with her and my boss. By the way, I had only been out sick from work a total of 3 days for the entire year.

So.......you see...don't keep trying to avoid this woman nor HER harrassment that she is dishing out. You have rights. Don't be afraid to come right out and tell her that you are NOT interested in her and above all else, document your days as they go by. Buy yourself a little notebook and write down all of it..it will pay off in the long run. Do NOT give this woman any inclination that you are interested in her but at the same time, be painfully polite if you have to. If this continues, take your notebook and schedule an appointment with your Human Resources Director. You will be surprised how fast this woman will back off once you take control.

[rlrl]

and pisser advice too! arf arf, i could tell her i have low testosterone (which is the truth actually) and am therefore "in no mood for intimacy"(except of course with just about every other girl who works in our office!!). and what bothers me about her is that if i don't show any interest in her and it makes her angry she can turn it around and claim i harrassed her. but again the company would never buy this. the management here does not think that highly of me, but they know that i am not the type to sexually harass anyone (which is why i never made it to upper management!!!)

CIS speed--our company has a written and unwritten policy that anyone who submits a sexual harrassment complaint had better have proof of it and unsubstantiated allegations will be frowned upon. the problem with me isn't sexual harrassment but just an annoying accusatory nut job who can undercut my productivity and cause me to underfunction if i'm not careful. i think the best thing for me to do is tell her if she does not like the way i carry myself to go to a manager and file a complaint, perhaps a formal grievance. then the burden of proving her complaint against me (whatever it may be) will be totally on her.

blazer prophet--i too am the shy type and would never hit on anyone i work with as much as i'd like to because of the risk involved. but hey, there was a lovely 52 year old lady (5 years my senior) who worked with me briefly who i would have loved to "be with", if you know what i mean.

twinkle toes--i am thinking of making up a fake girlfriend because the idea sounds so fun. lying anf bs'ing has never been a part of my life but i realize now it might have to be and i can a lot of fun doing it too!!!

Conn Pam--trouble is when i am painfully polite and act in control her attitide is "so you think you're better than everyone here". She is a real borderline type, much like Glenn Close played in Fatal Attraction (except that I have no interest in this moron)

[rlrl]

she's probably been in stormy relationships her whole life(had her first kid at 15-16), she's probably looking for a moron to entrap and enslave, right? and trying to entrap some moron at a job is the best way to do it because if the moron suddenly pulls away, she can file harassment charges against the moron right? when it's not at a job it's harder to nail a moron who jumps ship

in other words, all men think with their "little heads"(probably like the father/fathers of her kids did) and she therefore thinks i think that way too (which i DO NOT) and when she suspects i'm not falling for it it enrages her 'cause now she can't get over

am i right??

[rlrl]

there was another girl on the job years ago who wasn't as flagrant as this woman is with her sexuality but the sense of entitlement and desire to be catered to was very similar. this girl picked my name out of a hat for a christmas grab bag at the office. later on when i didn't make the desired chit chat and small talk with her that she wanted she tried to use the grab bag gift as a guilt ploy ("After all i've done for you") way to wear me down so i'd talk to her. i found out from a co-worker that this girl had a history of using guys to help her with her schoolwork in exchange for s**. whether it was true or not, the guilt snares and anger at me were very similar, though not as intense as with this current lady co-worker

[Twinkle Toes]

rlrl - I'm confused as to why you keep saying that this woman can turn around and use your lack of interest in her as sexual harassment. Can you please explain what you mean by that?

[rlrl]

think i said that, what i meant was in theory her asking for a kiss is a dangerous thing to do to anyone because if someone was watching she can always say the guy initiated it, not her.

yes i made several references to her turning around and claiming harrassment but i am just referring to what i picture her doing when she is angry and viscious. i am not saying this actually happened at all. sorry if i misrepped it

what she DID once allude to was that my lack of saying good morning to her and others (untrue) was mistreatment of her and other staff

in reality this woman will provoke you to raise your voice to her so she can then claim some type of harrassment but this has not happened yet

the bottom line is that this is a very difficult person to work with

[Twinkle Toes]

Refuse to be controlled by her. Don't allow yourself to raise your voice to her. She cannot have that emotional power over you if you do not let her have it. You are the one in control of your own emotions, actions and reactions. Just ignore her as much as you can, and when you have no alternative but to interact with her for work related purposes, keep it as brief and as professional as possible. You are under NO obligation to say "good morning" to her, and it is not harassment if you choose not to. She sounds very mentally unstable and you should avoid her as much as you can.

[rlrl]

just as i was typing back to you my supervisor called me in to the office and told me he will give her a stern lecture about her bothering me because she will be working with me under my supervision on sundays

[Twinkle Toes]

I hope only the best for you in dealing with her. Keep us posted on how it goes.

[rlrl]

he knows how rough my workload is and he will also give her more work to do to prevent her from doing these things