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For some strange reason most men cannot accept a woman having men friends. I had lots of men friends. I still do have a couple. Does not mean anything is going on.
For some strange reason most men cannot accept a woman having men friends. I had lots of men friends. I still do have a couple. Does not mean anything is going on.
It's not the fact of having men friends, but men friends you stay the night at!
And thats what i thought as well, but she has a lack of real true friends. Most of her friends are also friends of mine. I think its good to meet new people and make new friends. Just because this may be viewed negatively by some, doesnt make it inheriently wrong... does it?
G Man
you asked....which means, regardless of you being 99% sure...your also in denial and making excuses for an unacceptable relationship...and why can't she make girl friends....
First of all, it can be risky. Not always, but sometimes. Men and women sometimes begin to feel attracted to that friend in ways they didn't anticipate. If you aren't gay that doesn't happen in woman-woman or guy-guy friendships. And remember, all the best marriages start out as great friendships.
Is he straight? If so you should know what a straight guy thinks when alone with a girl. If not it's SEX! I understand you trust her, I trust my gf but would be extremely pissed if she stayed the night at some guys house. That is just begging for something to happen. Your obviously concerned about these events or you wouldn't post them here.
Not concerned, just interested in others opinions because people other than myself and my friend, the owner of these events, share mostly the same opinions of the people here. I have always wondered why people think that way. If nothing bad happens then why is it bad automatically.
This might be a more interesting thread if she had gone to the camera club, made a new friend and they were now planning a trip to the mountains for a photo shoot. Now, the issues of what kind of relationship they will have becomes an issue. Is he the type of guy who wants to never let her out of his sight?
Meeting at the bar is a different issue altogether because this is less an oportunity to broaden ones interests ans more a place to find people. Not always, but this also has me wondering about her and the interests she holds.
She enjoys going to bars and just being out and about. She isnt a homebody. She has made many friends at another bar that she is a regular at.
Basically I do believe men and woman CAN be friends, but it can be a slippery slope for some people. There have to be clear boundries and full disclosure with your significant other.
I would try not to let it bother me but I would definitely keep my eye on it. I would also pay attention to the chemistry between her and her new friend. When the two of you go out w/him, make sure you aren't a wallflower.
The phone eventually tells all if there is anything going on. If there is an insane amount of texting going on "under the table" if you get my drift or when she gets a text alert, pay attention to what happens. Does she open it with you close-by, leave the room, go to the other end of the couch, re-position herself when the two of you are snuggling, etc.
If weird stuff is happening and you think you are going to go mad you can do a few things very discreetly that will shed some light on the situation.
I'm spontaneous anyways, but if you aren't - get spontaneous. Drop flowers off at her job when she says she is going to be there, surprise her at home with lunch when she says she is going to be there, etc. If she is not where she says she is, give her a call. Ask her what she is doing, you're thinking about her. If she maintains she is where she isn't, tell her you will be there in a few minutes with flowers/lunch/whatever. You want to come off as a doting boyfriend and not a stalker, because then everything will be your fault if she is doing you wrong.
Leave your cell phone in the car, and tell her you need to text your friend mark/rob/ben whatever to tell them happy birthday/you can't hang out/blah blah and see if she deletes her history before she hands you the phone. Then you know you got a real problem. I don't recommend this approach unless its eating you alive, because once you do this everything will be your fault if she is doing you wrong.
I dunno, I seem to attract cheaters so it probably takes less to make me paranoid, but I recommend trusting her until she gives you a reason not to trust her - don't do any investigative work until your trust falters.
Very well done. I great post. Well thought out and on point. And you have earned the group another part of the story.
So I went to use her phone the other day and i noticed there were no sent messages and no messages in her inbox either. In fact, ive seen her phone about 5 or 6 times and this was the case each time. For someone who sends and recieves a lot of messages, how could this be the case? Is there a setting on a phone to never store sent messages or to delete any messages after a certain amount of time?
For some strange reason most men cannot accept a woman having men friends. I had lots of men friends. I still do have a couple. Does not mean anything is going on.
Exactly, this is one of my points. Besides my friend and i, most people think this is inheriently wrong. Why cant a girl have man friends just like a guy can have girl friends.
It's not the fact of having men friends, but men friends you stay the night at!
I agree and after the fact, it doesnt sit well with my friend or i now. At the time we were too busy hanging out with our friends to really question it. And it kind of morphed from her staying at her girl friends house to them both staying at this guys house because he is located close to the bar and its convient to her staying there since her and her girl friend had a falling out.
G Man
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