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Old 03-16-2009, 09:39 PM
 
Location: Visitation between Wal-Mart & Home Depot
8,309 posts, read 38,839,626 times
Reputation: 7186

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Quote:
Originally Posted by gman5431 View Post
Hypthetical situation - I am out of town and my girlfriend goes out to a bar with my brother. While there she meets a new guy and they exchange numbers. The next day they go bar hopping then go there seperate ways. Nothing improper takes place. When i get home i hear a lot of things about this new guy and it makes me a tad jealous which is not usualy a trait that i have. Anyways, since then we, as a couple have gone to hang out with this guy a couple times and seems like a pretty decent dude. When we were out together last weekend she felt the need to text this new guy to see what he was doing? Also, the night before, after he left from hanging out with a group of us at our house to go to the bar, she continued to write him and wondered about joining him at the bar. I am 100 % convinced that nothing wrong has happened and she is merely making a new friend, which is always a good thing. I also think that for 99% of couples this situation probably wouldnt work, but why shouldnt it?

G Man
She's either playing some game with your head or she's just plain playing you. Sorry.
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Old 03-16-2009, 09:47 PM
 
Location: City, State
364 posts, read 1,571,111 times
Reputation: 157
Seems weird that you're okay with this.

If her new guy friend isn't gay, then there's something wrong here. Open your eyes man.
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Old 03-17-2009, 06:47 AM
 
Location: Cincinnati, Ohio
1,410 posts, read 3,982,151 times
Reputation: 389
Quote:
Originally Posted by the one View Post
ok everything seemed normal. there was no need to worry. she was hanging out with your bro. she didnt hide the fact that she got some guys number. yall have hung out together. that seems fine. you are very secure and you trust her.

everything seemed normal. then i read that post about her hanging out with some guy that she never wanted you to meet. or that you never met, and now they are not friends... thats really fishy!

everything seemed normal up until that point. that is a red flag.
Thanks. I agree, everything is normal with this new guy and he seems like a decent person. As for the other guy, it was half my fault too because i was spending a lot of time with my friends and i never really had a chance to meet the guy. Only asked once and she said she wanted time alone which i felt was fine. I guess when she approached this old guy about hanging out with me he backed off. So he was a loser and she did the right thing, cant fault her for that. She never didnt want me to meet him and i never got that impression, it just didnt happen. Sure, the guy probably should have come over to our house at some point and i'm sure his motives were not pure, but nothing happened. And like i said this new guy has been over and seems pretty cool.

G Man
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Old 03-17-2009, 06:50 AM
 
Location: Cincinnati, Ohio
1,410 posts, read 3,982,151 times
Reputation: 389
Quote:
Originally Posted by cool rob View Post
Man, sounds like trouble. Something stinks here. The reason she has no messages is because:

A: She is deleting them because her inbox is too full

or

B. She is deleting them as soon as they come over because dude is telling her all the nasty things he want's to do to her, and she has to hide these from you, her loyal, kind, boyfriend. (Don't worry though, the good thing is dude will probably just use her for sex, so no need to worry about competitiion when date night comes)

My guess from the rest of your story is that she has more respect for the guy then she has for your own relationship. Come on man, whether it is you or your boy, nip it in the bud (Man Law dictates that you must let him know if you know, ya dig?) I mean, do you have to really witness the deed going down before you beleive it?

My theory is at this stage, there is not much you can really do anyway, she has already contemplated cheating on you in her head, so now it is just about either getting rid of you first, or her just waiting for the right time and/or oppurtunity to finish ole' boy off.

Why do you have this much trust in her anyway? With the secrecy and the lies, come on now!

Its not looking good chief

edit: if the guy is gay, disregard everything I said!

Its funny how people can be so sure of something when all they have is my antedotal stories. What if she seriously is just friends? I guess you all are giving your opinions and thats fine. The main reason i posted this is my buddy and i cant grasp why almost everyone thinks its wrong.

G MAn
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Old 03-17-2009, 06:54 AM
 
Location: Cincinnati, Ohio
1,410 posts, read 3,982,151 times
Reputation: 389
Quote:
Originally Posted by djkkt6 View Post
Seems weird that you're okay with this.

If her new guy friend isn't gay, then there's something wrong here. Open your eyes man.
So you dont think its possible for a girl to have any guy friends?

G Man
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Old 03-17-2009, 07:23 AM
 
1,196 posts, read 2,940,140 times
Reputation: 803
Quote:
Originally Posted by gman5431 View Post
Its funny how people can be so sure of something when all they have is my antedotal stories. What if she seriously is just friends? I guess you all are giving your opinions and thats fine. The main reason i posted this is my buddy and i cant grasp why almost everyone thinks its wrong.

G MAn

Listen bro,

If it makes you feel better (in your mind) that you think she is not sniffing after ole' boys jewels , then so be it. However I know, and as countless others have said, based strictly off your "hypothetical" stories, that something isn't right.

Sorry man, it hurts when it is you, until you know for sure, you want to prolong the inevitable heartbreak. I know I have been there before (it sucks arse BTW). It isn't cool to get played for a chump by your gal, it also isn't cool to wait for the anvil to hit you in the head before you move away from the ACME bullseye sign!

The next thing you will find yourself doing is this whole "insecure, jealousy" thing, which isn't cool at all. Why go through all of the drama for a woman who may be ready to "explore" her various options? Dude, let her go!! Sounds like she is giving away clear signs that she want's something new. Now she has you thinking its your fault because you hang out with your friends too much, come on chief that is her mental justification for doing what she is planning to do!

My uncle (R.I.P) used to always say this "the *expletive* (vagina) isn't ever yours, you are just renting it for right now" Your lease agreement might be up bro!

The warning signs are there, you are just ignoring them. Is it wrong for your lady to meet at bars, hang out at other locations (places she probably never told you about), exchange numbers, spend the night alone, text (probably this dude) constantly and then hide them from you, with some strange random guys she met at the bar, hmmm... let me think about that one....

P.S. The line of "I would rather hang out with guys then girls" is BS!! That is said so when you and her are out and every sailor or barfly speaks to her and she is giving hugs and winks to every John Doe in the immediate vicinity, you won't think nothing is up.
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Old 03-17-2009, 08:01 AM
 
Location: Tennessee bound...someday
2,514 posts, read 4,962,565 times
Reputation: 7135
cool rob, what a great post!!

gman5431, you say what you and your buddy can't grasp is why everyone thinks it's wrong? There's nothing wrong at all with a genuine friendship
between any & all genders. Many have pointed that out. What makes the one in question wrong is all the telling details you have provided.
C'mon, deep down, you know you provided those details 'cuz you knew what most of us would say....and you really do agree.

OK - now I'll just quietly back out of your head (sorry ).
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Old 03-17-2009, 08:14 AM
 
Location: City, State
364 posts, read 1,571,111 times
Reputation: 157
Quote:
Originally Posted by gman5431 View Post
So you dont think its possible for a girl to have any guy friends?

G Man
Of course I do. I just think it's weird for a girl to acquire guy friends after she's already in a relationship... at a bar... and then go out with that guy the very next night... just the two of them. It's just weird... you said yourself that everyone else thinks so. Why are you so surprised that people on this forum think the same way?

What would she say if you randomly met some chick at a bar, got her number, and then hung out with her by yourself the next night?

This isn't normal behavior. Bottom line.
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Old 03-17-2009, 08:35 AM
Status: "122 N/A" (set 14 days ago)
 
12,981 posts, read 13,729,960 times
Reputation: 9704
If I had a good Chick Buddy I would never allow her to "Sleep Over" I would drive her home to her guy. I would want to know the details of the falling out betwen the two women which turned a happy little threesome into a convient twosome (Devils Advocate Here)
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Old 03-17-2009, 08:59 AM
 
Location: City, State
364 posts, read 1,571,111 times
Reputation: 157
Quote:
Originally Posted by thriftylefty View Post
If I had a good Chick Buddy I would never allow her to "Sleep Over" I would drive her home to her guy. I would want to know the details of the falling out betwen the two women which turned a happy little threesome into a convient twosome (Devils Advocate Here)
Wait, did I miss something? Did the OP's girlfriend actually sleep at her new "friends" house?! If so, the OP might be the most oblivious person in the entire world!
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