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The bars aren't really the best place for getting to know someone. You can't really talk in a bar -- so many people go just to hear the music, watch people dance or dance too and have a couple drinks.
The problem is, there aren't many really good places to meet people especially when time is limited. My suggestion I know can work -- at least to meet for coffee and/or something to eat after the bar in a place you can talk and get a little acquainted. Many girls simply will not leave the bar with any guy, and shouting out their phone number over loud music isn't how they'll do it.
Not everyone likes to dance, not all women like to dance. Sometimes at closing time, when people are going out for bite to eat is the best time for a real chance, just make the invitation -- your group or you and your buddy are grabbing some coffee and breakfast somewhere close by and they're welcome to join you -- but no pressure. Especially the girls who you noticed didn't seem to want to dance too much or seemed to turn certain types down, maybe weren't dressed to attract lots of "that kind of attention", they too might be looking for more.
Okay, but how do I invite them? There's still the problem of getting past "hi, what's your name?" What does it take to get them to open up and just talk to me?
Okay, but how do I invite them? There's still the problem of getting past "hi, what's your name?" What does it take to get them to open up and just talk to me?
Maybe you could say "Hi, my name is (insert name here) I noticed you are sitting here by yourself and thought, thats not right, a girl like you should be surrounded by men", then proceed to tell her something funny about someone else in the club that only you noticed. If she laughs, then you got one foot in the door.
I don't know if this will work for you, but a lot of guys have done it to me, so maybe it will work. Its the type of advice you might use, since you didn't employ my previous advise in the other thread you had.
Maybe you could say "Hi, my name is (insert name here) I noticed you are sitting here by yourself and thought, thats not right, a girl like you should be surrounded by men", then proceed to tell her something funny about someone else in the club that only you noticed. If she laughs, then you got one foot in the door.
I don't know if this will work for you, but a lot of guys have done it to me, so maybe it will work. Its the type of advice you might use, since you didn't employ my previous advise in the other thread you had.
Seriously. Learn to dance. Take classes. Not only will you get an additional tool to use in the clubs, you'll meet a lot of girls at the dance studio. You will most likely find that meeting girls at the dance studio is much easier. You HAVE to interract with them. Their guard is down. The studio is a safe environment, not a meat market, and the girls really get to know you.
Dancing is the best ice-breaker in the world. It doesn't mean much to dance with someone, so the pressure isn't too much. You get one on one time with the person. And you interact with them on a physical level. You can tell a lot about someone by the way they dance, even if you don't talk.
And of course being a good dancer is a huge turn on for a girl. Don't underestimate dancing.
I am most curious. What can you supposedly tell about some one by the way they dance?
I am most curious. What can you supposedly tell about some one by the way they dance?
That he has guts. This is not to say that guys who don't dance are gutless, but it's pretty well known that a lot of guys refuse to dance. It takes courage for a guy to get over his self-consciousness and dance with a woman. Some of us really like a man who doesn't take himself too seriously and who tries to have fun. Also, a man who ventures out of his comfort zone demonstrates he might be open to other suggestions we might have.
To the OP you are cleary doing something/s wrong if u are having continued trouble picking up, meeting, talking to females at bars and clubs. I don't know u well enough and I'm not about to read through this thread throughly. But get your own "house" in order and you won't have trouble. Could be anyone of a number of reasons. You know yourself best, work it out. Some possiblities from what I know about you : appearence issues, too serious, too tense and intense, lack of confidence, not taking the intiative.
Okay, but how do I invite them? There's still the problem of getting past "hi, what's your name?" What does it take to get them to open up and just talk to me?
You don't even have to ask their names if it's closing time and everyone is getting ready to leave. Then you go up to someone who obviously hasn't left the bar with some other guy, it's easy enough if you're with a couple of other guys to find a same size group and ask them where is a good place to grab some coffee and breakfast. That wouldn't be too pushy, it wouldn't be a threat. It wouldn't even take much nerve. There isn't even any room for a rejection in that. It opens the door.
Ask a group of girls who seem nice where they like to go to get something to eat, or where is a fun place -- whatever. Actually a lot of people leave the bars and clubs and go for coffee and breakfast and sometimes those are the funner places. You can talk, get acquainted, change numbers easier. Sometimes you can see other people (girls) who were at the same place, ask them what they thought of the music, ask them where else they think is fun or whatever.
To the OP you are cleary doing something/s wrong if u are having continued trouble picking up, meeting, talking to females at bars and clubs. I don't know u well enough and I'm not about to read through this thread throughly. But get your own "house" in order and you won't have trouble. Could be anyone of a number of reasons. You know yourself best, work it out. Some possiblities from what I know about you : appearence issues, too serious, too tense and intense, lack of confidence, not taking the intiative.
Yes, I would suggest take the pressure off. That only makes a guy look nervous and unsure.
Take a different approach. Don't ask for a telephone number but ask how they like the music, what other places they like to go.
Girls who act guarded are guarded. They may go to a bar or club but they are guarded precisely because they don't want to get drunk, go home with someone. They're obviously looking for something to do also or they wouldn't be there in the first place, but they aren't going to write their numbers on the mens bathroom walls or pass them out like business cards, they want to meet people too but they may need a totally unpressured approach, nothing that commits them to a date the next week.
Plenty of girls are also insecure about dancing -- a guy doesn't have to be the best dancer around. Sometimes he can ask a girl where she learned to dance like that, she may offer to show him, teach him.
Girls are guarded because you're a stranger to them. You have to break the ice, get past the stranger part. It's too much pressure for both the guy and the girl to ask for and exchange numbers right off the bat because for the guy it's a good chance for rejection which knocks his courage down that much more. The girl often plain won't give it out no matter how nice you are -- because she doesn't know that. Giving out numbers risks getting stalkers, jerks, --- remember -- she doesn't know you, why would she give you her number.
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