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Right, somebody casually religious would be right for me. That's difficult to find though at my age. I am only 23 but that is OLD in my area. I go to a church with about 3000 members and there are only TWO single girls in their twenties. One is not interested and the other is way too legalistic/fundamentalist for my taste. I believe in God but I also believe in enjoying life.
Keep looking. It means there aren't many single guys around that age either.
My potential significant other cut me off tonight because I attend church on a regular basis. We have been talking a while and have got along and I didn't consider this any big deal but appearantly this person did and I just never saw it. It was just all of a sudden "I think you are freakin' nuts". Anybody think this is a valid reason or is it just a copout?
well, in honesty i do think it is valid.
It's unfortunate that she ended contact, but people hold different values in life.
Perhaps when you are next in church, chat with any single women you know attend regularly.
For many of us, we'd like our s/o to have close spiritual beliefs to our own. I don't have any close religious friends. After all, for me, there is no god person up there and I feel that organized religion has done a lot of damage to society. And how can I truly respect someone that feels that they have an imaginary friend up in the sky? Or thanks their god for their good luck or other happy occurrences in their lives. Whereas I believe in personal accountability and that bad things happen randomly.
That's nice. But if your entire respect for someone depends on their metaphysics, then that means you have an extraordinarily one-dimensional worldview, the opposite of the cosmopolitan one you suppose you have.
I mean, there are many different ways to find respect for others. Perhaps they're very good at their jobs. Perhaps they're kind and helpful to others. Perhaps they speak five languages and hold four degrees. Perhaps they've written a bestseller or two. Perhaps. Perhaps. Perhaps.
Yet, despite that person's manifest intellect, character and talents, the moment that same person happens to mention that he or she attends the Episcopal or Lutheran church down the road, you lose all respect for them. Heck, for the sake of argument, I'll pull a little sample of the people who attend my church:
-- A professor of medicine who was the very first person to discover the transmission link of AIDS between primates and humans. She is one of the most pre-eminent researchers in the field today, responsible for the preservation of who knows how many lives. She sits in the pew in front of me.
-- An acclaimed military historian whose fourth book is currently going to press.
-- A man who founded a medical charity that now operates clinicss in both Haiti and the Sudan. He takes time off from his medical evacuation company to work in both countries every year.
-- A construction billionaire whose largesse practically underwrote the arts in a mid-sized community. Well, he died last year, so I guess we can strike him off the list.
-- An artist whose work was recently exhibited in the MOMA and has authored two children's books, one of which was recently on the bestseller list for the category.
-- A World War II pilot who flew 35 P-38 missions over Europe, was shot down, evaded capture and made his way back to Allied territory, came home and became a surgical oncologist, known for his pioneering work in the field.
-- An attorney who has donated enormous amounts of his time fighting the execution orders of prisoners on death row.
And the list goes on. Yet these people, who are far more accomplished than you can ever hope to be, cannot possibly be worthy of your respect.
It seems to me that you have a really impoverished (And simplistic) way of looking at people.
Location: Partisanship Is An Intellectual/Emotional Handicap
1,851 posts, read 2,158,089 times
Reputation: 1082
Quote:
Originally Posted by WheredoIlive?
I would not date Christians when I was an unbeliever. I was pretty hard core atheist-humanist for a lot of young adult life. {am now born again Christain}
So I know this goes both ways. I think this gives me a different perspective.
I do know I would marry only someone that matched my values now.
Being fair to my husband, we were on same page when we met.
One thing with me, I know I break the rule all the time that Christians should not have non-Christian friends. I used to get rebuked at church for it all the time. It is a struggle for me. All my friends from college and lot from old townj are unbelievers and other religions.
The very fact that a religion dictates my choice in friends and a group of religious people would work to manipulate me in my choice of friends; is more than enough to support my beliefs on religion and church. And there's so many other reasons that come before that.
Anything or anyone who dares to dicate who I am friends with, date or interact with; can kiss my @ss.
That's not spreading love. That's not being kind. That's not being a good human being. That's being a discriminatory, biased, arrogant, self-righteous, controling social divider.
That's not a religion spreading love. That's a religion spreading hate and bigotry.
I am 23 years old living in the rural South. There are slim pickings by my age as most are already married with kids. Plus most single church people I have met are so devoted they don't believe in movies, secular music, secular entertainment, drinking even in moderation is a sin, etc and that stuff is a deal breaker for me.
Quote: bchris02
Second, it amazes me the small mindedness here as everyone seems to be lumping all people who go to church under the nutcase stereotype you see on TV. There are many reasons people go to church. I live in a small town in the south and here church is about the only thing to do for social interaction. If I quit going to church my social life would be out the window and I cannot make that sacrifice. As I said I believe religion is a personal thing and I respect the beliefs of the atheist though they may be different from mine, so I expect the same in return.[/quote]
quote: yhwhshalomjr Well this illuminates the thread (OP)
Have it ever occured to you that she may have observed you and felt that
you were not right going to church just to be social among other reason you have stated? she may have viewed you as a hypocrite, as your motives you stated here
for going to church are not for God, but for selfish motives?
my SO at the time hated hypocrites he felt that if you were going to be a Christian serve God, if you wee going to be unfaithful to the word of God, then serve Baal (the gods of this world), he had been searching for answers to religion and was observing me the whole time to see if I walked the walk and talked the talk, you know what I was a hypocrite, we were living together and I was doing the same things that he was doing, except that I
was just going to church because this is what I thought was right at the time
on Sundays. after a while he lost respect for me, and the relationship eventually ceased to work out. I can't blame him after reflecting back then, even though that was many moons ago; so what I'm saying is that she may feel that you are not representing the
"Christian" faith, I mean she has probably been checking you out a lot closer than you think, and wonder geesh, if this is what Christianity is all about about then I don't want it, I may as well go out with someone who is going to
drink and listen to her kind of music on a full time basis; your behavior may have been contradiction to your professed beliefs, is this atall possible? God Bless You
she may have known bible more than you suspected, "do not be unequally yoked with
an unbeliever"even Jesus said hat He desired that you be either hot or cold"
Last edited by yhwhshalomjr; 05-22-2009 at 02:31 PM..
Reason: after thoughts
That's nice. But if your entire respect for someone depends on their metaphysics, then that means you have an extraordinarily one-dimensional worldview, the opposite of the cosmopolitan one you suppose you have.
I mean, there are many different ways to find respect for others. Perhaps they're very good at their jobs. Perhaps they're kind and helpful to others. Perhaps they speak five languages and hold four degrees. Perhaps they've written a bestseller or two. Perhaps. Perhaps. Perhaps.
Yet, despite that person's manifest intellect, character and talents, the moment that same person happens to mention that he or she attends the Episcopal or Lutheran church down the road, you lose all respect for them. Heck, for the sake of argument, I'll pull a little sample of the people who attend my church:
-- A professor of medicine who was the very first person to discover the transmission link of AIDS between primates and humans. She is one of the most pre-eminent researchers in the field today, responsible for the preservation of who knows how many lives. She sits in the pew in front of me.
-- An acclaimed military historian whose fourth book is currently going to press.
-- A man who founded a medical charity that now operates clinicss in both Haiti and the Sudan. He takes time off from his medical evacuation company to work in both countries every year.
-- A construction billionaire whose largesse practically underwrote the arts in a mid-sized community. Well, he died last year, so I guess we can strike him off the list.
-- An artist whose work was recently exhibited in the MOMA and has authored two children's books, one of which was recently on the bestseller list for the category.
-- A World War II pilot who flew 35 P-38 missions over Europe, was shot down, evaded capture and made his way back to Allied territory, came home and became a surgical oncologist, known for his pioneering work in the field.
-- An attorney who has donated enormous amounts of his time fighting the execution orders of prisoners on death row.
And the list goes on. Yet these people, who are far more accomplished than you can ever hope to be, cannot possibly be worthy of your respect.
It seems to me that you have a really impoverished (And simplistic) way of looking at people.
Yet these people, who are far more accomplished than you can ever hope to be, cannot possibly be worthy of your respect.
It seems to me that you have a really impoverished (And simplistic) way of looking at people.
What a very Christian way of putting it. Cpg, I love ya for the most part, but this is another example of my point.
I'm not crazy about the 'imaginary friend' comment as I do believe in God. But your response is worse.
cop out. if they are not intelligent enough to dialogue about an issue like religion or politics or views on society, then you probably dont want them around you.
normally when someone cares about someone, in the least, they try to understand why they do the things they do.
if they cut you off with out a conversation, then they probably didnt care much for you.
you are better now.
go find yourself a church friend...
Quote:
Originally Posted by bchris02
My potential significant other cut me off tonight because I attend church on a regular basis. We have been talking a while and have got along and I didn't consider this any big deal but appearantly this person did and I just never saw it. It was just all of a sudden "I think you are freakin' nuts". Anybody think this is a valid reason or is it just a copout?
What a very Christian way of putting it. Cpg, I love ya for the most part, but this is another example of my point.
I'm not crazy about the 'imaginary friend' comment as I do believe in God. But your response is worse.
Why can't a person who believes in God have an opinion? He's not condemning her to hell, just addressing her simplistic and demeaning approach to classifying anyone who expresses a belief in God or supports organized religion.
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