Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Niceguy, surely social skills are part of a child's upbringing? Knowing how to do advanced math or being a Roger Federer, eg, isn't essential but getting along decently and dealing with others ,certainly is.
Yes, and sometimes when I feel extra cocky I asnwer "I know" to complements, but of course only if it fits with the situation so I don't make myself up like an arrogant jerk :P
however I think these things are what is basicly expected of everyone, good confidence or not... I think what is ment with good confidence is something more, something harder to describe, sort of an "outflow of comfortable vibe" if you catch my drift... and sadly without it we can walk as tall and proud as we want, look as deeply in peoples eyes as we want etc and still not seem confident, at least this is my experience...
Like I mentioned in some other thread were peoples advice was "go get some social skills";
"Social skills is not something you pick up from the 3rd shelf on right in the convinient store"... and I think making yourself percieved as a confident person by others is something along the same lines...
It's hard to define and get unless you already have it...
i disagree. I reckon confidence is inner feeling, which translates to outer feeling.
I was in a bar tonight with a friend, and she asked whether her top looked OK since she didn't want people look. to me, let them look (if I were in her position). I acknowledge that people will judge, but as long as I am comfortable in myself, what other issue is there?
Ooooh! The comments so far reek of desperation by the women and narcissism by the men.
As usual, women assume that all men who have problems attracting women are unkempt, uncouth and unwilling to exhibit the degree of BS slinging that will convince them that they possess confidence.
Kinda impossible to be happily married yet desperate at the same time
I said he's not confident and cares what others think too much (to the point of hating his parents and literally hoping htey go to hell because they made others dislike him) from what I've read in his post and threads. Are you claiming it's not possible that confidence is sometimes a requirement for attracting women and if one doesnt have it they may have a hard time attracting women? Are you claiming that physical attraction is the only factor that truly interests women but they pretend there are other things so they dont come off as shallow? That's what I'm getting from your post, which I disagree with.
I absolutely think that if you have a lot of trouble attracting women (or the kind of woman you want), you need to do something differently or go for different women who what you're already doing works on. Please explain if you disagree.
Kinda impossible to be happily married yet desperate at the same time
I said he's not confident and cares what others think too much (to the point of hating his parents and literally hoping htey go to hell because they made others dislike him) from what I've read in his post and threads. Are you claiming it's not possible that confidence is sometimes a requirement for attracting women and if one doesnt have it they may have a hard time attracting women? Are you claiming that physical attraction is the only factor that truly interests women but they pretend there are other things so they dont come off as shallow? That's what I'm getting from your post, which I disagree with.
I absolutely think that if you have a lot of trouble attracting women (or the kind of woman you want), you need to do something differently or go for different women who what you're already doing works on. Please explain if you disagree.
While there are things that will pretty reliably turn most women *off*, (bad hygiene, bad clothes, staring at your own shoes when you talk) what turns one gal on won't necessarily work for the next. Some like a bodybuilder type, while some specifically don't want that.
Where is Sifu Phil when we need him? I'll give it a try - it's almost a Zen thing. You just need to "tune up" your own life, be who you are but be the best version of that - and simply be in the same place as the women you want to attract. If you have some specific likes/dislikes, go to functions that cater to these. You a car guy? Go to car events, *many* but by no means *all* the gals there will be car gals.
Pretty much all mammals, the female selects a male, not the reverse.
i have good hygiene, i wear clean and pressed clothes, and i always make eye contact. i think what keeps me back is not reading situations and not having good life wisdom, since it's several years behind people my own age.
Location: An overgrown 350K person suburb of Saint Paul
383 posts, read 903,394 times
Reputation: 248
Quote:
i have good hygiene, i wear clean and pressed clothes, and i always make eye contact. i think what keeps me back is not reading situations and not having good life wisdom, since it's several years behind people my own age.
What probably keeps you back is you're probably a very cerebral, practical, technical and logically thinking person. Thing is, many women tend to think in a very non-logical, non-technical and non practical fashion.
My advice is not to go chase down a woman and don't even bother developing "game". "Game" will not be you strong suit because "game" is very frivilous and illogical. Try to find a like minded woman who also thinks in a very technical fashion.
Pick up a hobby like baking or cooking and take a few cooking and baking classes. Cooking is a field where there are lots of women who think the same way you do, which is in a very technical and logical manner. You might need to find a woman like that. I suspect you are looking for love in all the wrong places. Ditch the bars, plenty of fish, and the fancons (Which are simply singles bars for ugly people) and head out to places like art museums, science museums and electronics stores, where cerebral, technical thinking people hang out at.
For starters, don't let yourself go like this dude did---------
He can crack coconuts with that layout. The local "ladies" love that. He has 17 kids.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
