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I agree with the others that 'owe' isn't the right word to use. If you feel like you 'owe' your partner something, then you're doing it for the wrong reasons. Doing something out of obligation will quickly take the fun out of it. But I do think both partners should do their best to make sure the other person is satisfied. And it doesn't even have to be an orgasm. For many people, it's not the destination that matters. It's getting there that they enjoy most of all. Too many men attach such significance to their partner's orgasm that they become fixated on achieving that goal to the point where the woman has to fake it just to make the man feel better. Maybe if both people just said what they wanted and both worked on making that happen, both people would walk away satisfied.
It's also been tough because there's a TON of added pressure on every third thursday after a blue moon in the year of the bear when we DO actually have sex....
I've never thought of sex as a "deserving" kind of thing. If you mean, I cooked a great dinner so now somehow I "deserve a double or even a triple", sure, go for it.
And for the record, I've can count on one finger the times I've "faked it". How can a woman expect her guy to have a clue how to get here there, if she herself doesn't know?
Yes. Once two people are in bed there are TWO people that owe each other. Each person has the responsibility to give it their all and make it worthwhile for their partner.
Too many men attach such significance to their partner's orgasm that they become fixated on achieving that goal to the point where the woman has to fake it just to make the man feel better. Maybe if both people just said what they wanted and both worked on making that happen, both people would walk away satisfied.
I think that some selfish men really don't care so long as they get the big "O". But I also think that a lot of men feel like they either owe it to women or feel like they're not good enough if they can't get a woman to "O".
My SO has told me that he feels like he owes it to me because it just isn't fair if I don't, especially since he usually does. But I also think that he feels "less worthy" in bed if I don't "O".
I've tried to get him to worry less about it, and even shared some interesting facts with him about orgasms, such as that some women physically can't orgasm or just never do. I think it only helped him a little bit not to worry about it so much.
For the guys who complain about the "once in a blue moon" factor - if she's gettin' off like plaidmom so aptly described above, then she would be seeking out you to get her groove on, i.e. there would be no dry spells. I'm just sayin'......
Right, I've always wondered if those guys who complain the most their woman isn't wanting to have sex often are the same who are boring them to death in the bedroom.
I think that some selfish men really don't care so long as they get the big "O". But I also think that a lot of men feel like they either owe it to women or feel like they're not good enough if they can't get a woman to "O".
Between these two extremes, I would think most women would prefer the latter. At least he cares enough to give you what he thinks you want as opposed to the other guy who only cares about his needs.
Mine does take the time to see if I will, and if I can see that I`m not gonna, then, I`ll tell him. I do try though, but I`m not gonna tell him I did, when I didn`t.
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