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Ok ok, this is kinda hard to explain, i been on here before, so some of you may know my situation. My wife and i been seperated for about a year on and off. Last time we lived together was in may, i left the apt in may 15th to be exact. Our situation is kinda weird, its like the whole cant live with them or without them sydrome! In the beggining, i was distraught, but after 3 times leaving the house and coming back, i kinda got used to being without her. Our prioritys have always been really different. I want to stay home and be a family man, she prefers partying w her friends like shes still single! I love her, probably always will, but i realized its never going to work! We have tried 3 times and nothing, always the same results, shes starts going out alot, coming home late from work, i start getting really jealous and insecure and bam!!!!! I leave and after 2 or 3 months, the whole i miss u, the ph calls start etc etc.... this is from both of us, this last time i was done, i didnt see her for like 3 mnths and i was good already.I met a couple of girls that really liked me, with good qualitys she lacked. I met this one girl and oH my god, she was all i ever wanted, so we started hanging out, it got i guess a lil serious. My ex found out and she went ballistic! She gave this whole guilt trip and i started kinda distancing myself from this other girl, cuz my ex knows how to push my buttons, she knows how to manipulate me. My ex and I, have always had an incredible sex life, [if our relationship was based on sex, we be a perfect couple] Friday we got together and dammm!, it was mind blowing, she scratched me
all up and the end she was like, so your lil girlfriend can see it, then she laughed, i guess my question is, if she doenst want to be with me, or get her prioritys straight, why does she keep pulling me back in? Why doenst she let me move on, i know it takes 2 to tangle, but shes crazy selfish! Now i regret being a jerk w the other girl, cuz she was a "keeper" and i let my ex get in my ear!
ps: all the time weve been sperated we have never stopped sleeping together.
True, but its sad, because i figure if thats all she wants me for, ill use her for the same thing! If it was up to me, she would get her priority straight, and we could continue our marriage and raise out kids!
Wow. This is all I know of your situation because I had not read your former posts about it.
Sounds like maybe you and your wife could stand to have some counseling.
When my husband and I separated, he tried three times to get back with me and I always said no.
Almost a year later I got all lonely and scared, I ended up in the hospital and alone and I asked him back. He said no.
Glad it happened that way. I do not think we need to be together.
Now, to me it sounds like maybe you and your wife may still want to be together....
I can tell you this. In the state I am in, any time you live with or have relations with your spouse after separating, the beginning date of your separation begins all over.
We have children, so we would have to wait a year to file for divorce. Without kids, only 6 months.
We are going on two years and have stayed separate the whole time so it does not matter..
I mean we love each other, we do alot, dont think well ever stop, but our prioritys are really different, we bring each other the highest hights and the lowest lows, im ready to settle down, if shes willing to put in all the effort i put in to make it work. I dont think she is, never will be, i have mentioned counceling and she always shrugs it off, im done thinking she will ever settle down, i need to move on, but yes i know i need to stop sleeping w her, even though its incedible!
i think at this point you know what to do, make a decision and stand by it no matter what. if you decide you want to make it work, then do it, don't bale yourself out with excuses when it gets hard. keep working at it. But if you think its not worth it and you need to move on. the move on, she cannot get to you unless you let her. don't dance back and forth and hurt others in teh process, make a decision and stand by it.
Once you have had enough of the emotional roller coaster on which she has you, the sex will no longer be great. You probably have great sex because chemistry was there to begin with and then the emotional factor kicks in and it hits new heights. Once the emotions are hurt enough, and believe me, the fact that she isn't ready to stick to her end of the marriage is hurting you as evidenced in your being in here writing about it, the great sex will no longer be great. Been there, done that in a relationship.
You can stay on the crazy ride, or get out, or both of you put forth the effort to work on the marriage.
The only way the marriage would work is both of you put work into it. Otherwise continue to live the drama. The choice is your. The crazy ride might not be healthy for you.
I agree that you allow your ex to do this. If you really wanted this relationship to end, you would have ended it. So, my question is, what's stopping you? Why do you allow yourself to be manipulated? You are a puppet and she is the puppet master, to make matters worse, you allowed yourself to meet other people, started getting close with a new woman and allowed your ex to ruin that for you and now maybe that woman has hurt feelings.
You need to first decide if this is the way you want to live your life in a toxic relationship or move on to something possibly very nice and happy.
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