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If this has been discussed, there are ways to figure out what she wants without you actually asking your loved one what she wants. I don't care what any one says, we secretly want a diamond ( I know I would) so you better work it out.
Do your homework and don't shop at the Mall for your ring. They will rip you off and you won't get a good quality ring. Have her friends help you with this so you can at least get an idea of what she would like.
You know your girl better. Does the ring place a huge importance to her? The surprise is not in the ring, it's in the proposal. The ring is secondary.
I'm with MM!
IZthe411,
I think it's important to know if your girlfriend would want to be surprised by the ring or would she prefer to have some input on it?
I know for me personally, the ring is a piece of jewelry. I can replace that, but I can't replace the memories I have of him asking for my hand in marriage. Being that my husband was dropping $$$ on the ring and it was a piece of jewelry that I was going to wear every day, he felt it was important that the ring be something I truly wanted to wear, so we discussed it beforehand. (He knew the stone & setting style I wanted.)
Despite discussing the ring style, he still shocked the hell out of me with the proposal! Totally caught me off guard!!!
IZthe411,
I think it's important to know if your girlfriend would want to be surprised by the ring or would she prefer to have some input on it?
I know for me personally, the ring is a piece of jewelry. I can replace that, but I can't replace the memories I have of him asking for my hand in marriage. Being that my husband was dropping $$$ on the ring and it was a piece of jewelry that I was going to wear every day, he felt it was important that the ring be something I truly wanted to wear, so we discussed it beforehand. (He knew the stone & setting style I wanted.)
Despite discussing the ring style, he still shocked the hell out of me with the proposal! Totally caught me off guard!!!
Believe me, I recognize the amount of $$$ in this investment, and I'm no slouch at these types of things. She compliments me on my style all the time, and she has a similar vibe to her.
I'm no jewelry expert, but I've been paying attention to rings a lot lately. There's only a few that I have seen that were actually nice. Like most things, when I see one that 'speaks' to me, I'll be on it. This won't be some fly by night decision. I'm in an information gathering phase right now, so I'm taking it all in.
I'll be a sly as possible to get the necessary information out of her.
The fact that you have an actual token (ring) is much more important than anything else- from what I have experienced and heard. Basically, to your girl, it means you're serious and sincere.
I don't want her to have the slightest idea that she's about to get it, so the less she's involved, the more likely she'll be surprised and the better the reaction.
With my ex, I actually bought her two rings. The first was nice, not too expensive, but it was a beautiful ring. When I proposed, I gave her that one, and asked that she always keep it close to her heart. A week later, we went out and she picked out a ring to wear all the time, and a chain to hang the "official" ring on for her neck.
Eventually, we framed a nice picture of the two of us that we had taken on that day, and hung the ring inside the frame. She hung that picture in the most prominent spot in the house, and it actually meant more to her than the ring she wore every day. She was glad for the idea because the second ring I bought her started getting scratches on it and everything else - but she still had the "official" one in perfect condition.
The point is, do whatever you feel comfortable with. Just remember, there's more than the traditional ways of doing things.
I'm sure when (and if) the time comes, I'll know my girlfriend enough to know what kind of ring she may want. If I didn't have any idea, I would go to the mother/sister of the family since they probably would know her best. If that is not an option, I would make up with the proposal which knowing me will be pretty romantic, have a box and then would say something like:
"We've known each other for awhile and I wish to take this further" *kneel and hand over box*... She'll open it and of course be shocked... "I know it's empty but you know I want what's best for you so we'll go shopping for the ring of your dreams ".
Hopefully she would say yes and there you go... Of course my presentation may be different when the time comes but I'm nowhere thinking of getting married since I don't even have a girlfriend.
So I think the guy should surprise the gal if he knows what's best for her. Otherwise, you should have a good mutual friend, family member of hers to help you out. The only time you should allow for the gal to pick the ring should be if you really want what's best for her (of course willing to drop some serious dough) or you just can't figure out what to get her.
As long as you are 1000% sure that she will like what you have chosen, I wouldn't take her ring shopping.
Having said that, you must be completely sure that she will like it. So, has she already pointed out the exact ring you have in mind, maybe in a magazine, and gushed over it? If not, I'd get better confirmation before proceeding, at least if she's like me.
I speak as a woman who knew EXACTLY what she wanted. I knew I wanted a thick pave band with a particular double-pronged setting. I also knew that I didn't want to wear 2 rings. I would have been unhappy with anything else. Had my husband gotten me any other style, I would have been dissatisfied, although I would have proudly worn what he chose.
I removed any chance of not getting what I wanted and posted a photo of what I was looking for on the fridge. So, I knew what I was getting. BUT, the surprise was the when, the how, and the actual ring itself b/c he had it custom-made.
Anyway, if your bride-to-be is as picky as me, I'd make sure I knew for sure that she loves the ring you're thinking of. Otherwise, think of some sneaky ways of finding out without taking her shopping. Remember that she must wear this ring for the rest of her life, and even if she wasn't 100% satisfied, she'd probably never tell you.
Oh, yeah. I echo some of the other responses. The surprise lies in the proposal itself. THAT's where the memories lie. Not the ring. The ring she wears forever and must love. But the joyous surprise and priceless memories come from your top secret proposal!
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) the time comes, I'll know my girlfriend enough to know what kind of ring she may want. If I didn't have any idea, I would go to the mother/sister of the family since they probably would know her best. If that is not an option, I would make up with the proposal which knowing me will be pretty romantic, have a box and then would say something like:
".
