Rings- Let Her Pick it Out or Surprise Her? (girlfriends, girls, cheated)
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Back in my day, cira 1994, there was this annual gaming convention I attend around Labor Day weekend.
Instead, I went shopping for an engagement ring Friday morning. I had something specific in mind. A .86 carat since we went steady in 1996. And I added 8 more smaller stones around the setting, totaling almost 2 carats.
I did went to the convention Friday evening but went home and told her it was not as good anymore, so I asked her if she want to go out of town with me instead. And we went to Vegas.
I took her to a show that she wanted. Then we had a nice dinner after. I then went on my knees and asked her to marry me. She was totally surprised and loved everything.
p.s. Oh yeah, I took along her high school ring which she does no wear often but fits.
IZthe411, why not propose to her at a Phillies game during the World Series? Nothing more surprising and spontaneous than that! 40,000 fans just watching plus god knows how many more if caught on TV... now THAT would be something she will remember forever.
I don't want my girl to have any idea, so I don't want to take her ring shopping. I have a good idea of what she would like and I have good taste, so I know she'sll like it.
What were your experiences? Took her shopping around to get an idea, or did you totally surprise her?
Ladies of course since you were on the other end you can tell us your experiences!
I dated my wife for over two years before we got married. During that time, I was able to gauge what she liked by the other jewelry she wore and the type of diamonds and stones she seemed to favor when browsing at jewelry. She even once commented on a ring that another woman wore as being beautiful. She loved the solitaire and that's what I got her. I surprised her making sure that the diamond was of incredible quality, clarity, and cut. She loved it. Been 20 years and she still cherishes that ring.
I don't want my girl to have any idea, so I don't want to take her ring shopping. I have a good idea of what she would like and I have good taste, so I know she'sll like it.
What were your experiences? Took her shopping around to get an idea, or did you totally surprise her?
Ladies of course since you were on the other end you can tell us your experiences!
I bought the 1 carat center diamond, had it mounted in a simple, cheap temporary ring, and surprised her. Later, we shopped together for the permanent engagement ring for mounting the diamond and both of our wedding rings.
I'm the one who suggested "control issue" only because of the focus on how it wouldn't be as meaningful for YOU (like I quoted). Don't take it personal but I've known guys who do want to control their womens feeling that way. One guy purposefully acted distant on the days leading up to Valentines day, even suggesting he may not be able to attend a dinner that was planned. The girl (my daughter btw) was anxious and upset over the whole thing and it was all because he wanted to show up and and SURPRISE her to get a specific reaction from her. He thought it was romantic, I knew it was abusive, and soon enough so did my daughter who dumped the idiot.
However, that not being the case apparently..why not buy a loose stone and let her pick the setting? OR, surprise her with a trip to the jewelry story (don't tell her where you are going...just take her). Lot's of ways to surprise someone. Or get a solitaire, you can't go wrong with that.
Take a female friend of yours who seems to have similar tastes to your girlfriend. She'll be thrilled to go with you. And, chances are, she won't blab.
Old thread alert!! Though I feel the need to comment anyway.
I think there will be men that agree with me here. When I pop the question, it's not about the ring but about the presentation. However (and this is a big however) that ring is a gift from me to her. There is a monumental difference between giving her a ring and BUYING her a ring. If she's the one to pick out the ring, it's no longer a gift from me, it's a gift from my wallet.
Now before everyone goes off on me, I understand that some women are very picky about their jewelry. I also understand that the woman will be wearing it for the rest of her life so it should be something she likes. But nit picking about the design or insisting that it be in conformance with her exact specifications transforms an experience that should be meaningful into a hollow and materialistic facade.
So, to the women who hate the rings their fiancees gave them or insist that they receive their ring from Visa, I say they need to consider his feelings on the subject. He worked hard and saved a heck of a lot of money to present you with the most precious of gifts. He likely went through a great deal of stress and felt the pressure of many people to try to please you with the ring. If you don't love the ring, wear it because you love him. It's a gift from him, love him for the thought and the presentation. It's not supposed to be about style, it's supposed to be about the symbolism and the gesture.
Sorry if I seemed harsh. I'm about to break under all the pressure because my secret got out...
Old thread alert!! Though I feel the need to comment anyway.
I think there will be men that agree with me here. When I pop the question, it's not about the ring but about the presentation. However (and this is a big however) that ring is a gift from me to her. There is a monumental difference between giving her a ring and BUYING her a ring. If she's the one to pick out the ring, it's no longer a gift from me, it's a gift from my wallet.
Now before everyone goes off on me, I understand that some women are very picky about their jewelry. I also understand that the woman will be wearing it for the rest of her life so it should be something she likes. But nit picking about the design or insisting that it be in conformance with her exact specifications transforms an experience that should be meaningful into a hollow and materialistic facade.
So, to the women who hate the rings their fiancees gave them or insist that they receive their ring from Visa, I say they need to consider his feelings on the subject. He worked hard and saved a heck of a lot of money to present you with the most precious of gifts. He likely went through a great deal of stress and felt the pressure of many people to try to please you with the ring. If you don't love the ring, wear it because you love him. It's a gift from him, love him for the thought and the presentation. It's not supposed to be about style, it's supposed to be about the symbolism and the gesture.
Sorry if I seemed harsh. I'm about to break under all the pressure because my secret got out...
I totally understand where you are coming from - but let me just say that not all women and not all men feel the same way. It totally depends on the couple in question. Some men simply do not WANT to pick out jewelry. Some women are really picky - about everything. So although you might feel really strongly about this - I'm sure there are lots of guys out there that would happily have their fiancee's pick out their own rings so that they don't have that responsibility. Likewise - there are women that WANT to be completely surprised and want to have no part in picking out their ring. Hopefully - both people are on the same page. I think being on the same page is the most important thing. And hopefully, if the couple is a good match - they will not only be on the same page about the ring but about most other things in life.
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Been 20 years and she still cherishes that ring.
