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Because dumb, sports obsessed, homophobic, arrogant, aggressive, pseudo-macho, "tough-guys" are easier to figure out than quiet, mysterious, smart, free-thining, "nice" guys. I'm really not attracted to the type of women that go after "bad boys" anyway. I can usually spot them by just looking at them....so I don't worry about it too much. My advice is try not to go after women that like these sort of dudes. Just sit back, relax and watch the bad-boy chasers pop out baby after baby by multiple "baby daddies" and ruin their lives. It's actually hilarious to sit back and watch women with such poor decision-making skills make mistake after mistake due to their own stupidity/low-self worth and subsequent "bad-boy" obsession.
One day back at DLI I held a door on three different occasions for women during my lunch break and was demeaned three different times for simply trying to be polite.
On the third one I did the wrong thing; satisfying, but wrong. I stopped the woman in the middle of her male-bashing tirade and said "Excuse me," before going through the door and pulling it shut behind me.
Satisfying, but wrong.
About 1.5 years later I saw a friend holding a door for a woman (an officer, no less) and she stopped and sniped "You don't have to hold the door for me because I'm a woman!"
He handled it much better and I took the lesson to heart. He looked at her for a few seconds and said "I'm not holding the door because you're a woman; I'm holding it because I'm a gentleman."
Ah good old chivalry and the misconceptions we have about it. It's supposed to be gentlemen showing respect to ladies. This is meant literally, in meaning royalty like lords and nobles. Even if you consider yourself a gentleman and want to do the "gentlemanly thing" by being chivalrous, the very simple fact is that most women are not ladies, and as such not deserving of chivalrous behavior. Staunch feminists see it as men demeaning women by assuming the men do it because they think they're weak or something. Most boys were raised to respect women, never questioning that the woman may in fact not deserve to be respected. I learned long ago that women, just like everyone else, must first earn my respect if they want respectful behavior on my part. Otherwise I'm treating them in a neutral fashion as I would anyone else.
I think that intelligent women prefer nice guys. Unfortunately, there are a lot of men who pretend to be nice guys and then turn out to be real creeps, which makes women cautious.
Believe me, when you meet the right woman she will cherish you for the good person you are and it'll all be worth the wait. My DH said over the years women just routinely overlooked him, it was as if they couldn't see him or appreciate what he had to offer, and wouldn't give him the time of day. It took him a long time to find me, but I'm so glad he did, and that I could see what other women didn't. I feel blessed each day that we found each other, fell in love, got married, had children, built a life together, and continue to love and support each other.
I also think it depends on how nice you mean. If that means one who always says yes and way too nice too the point of having no backbone at all, then how about the time it doesn't work out and they finally act out in anger. A way too sweet, shy and quiet man can also be a creep if they happened to snap one day when they got their feelings hurt since you couldn't predict it. That would be creepy.
Because dumb, sports obsessed, homophobic, arrogant, aggressive, pseudo-macho, "tough-guys" are easier to figure out than quiet, mysterious, smart, free-thining, "nice" guys. I'm really not attracted to the type of women that go after "bad boys" anyway. I can usually spot them by just looking at them....so I don't worry about it too much. My advice is try not to go after women that like these sort of dudes. Just sit back, relax and watch the bad-boy chasers pop out baby after baby by multiple "baby daddies" and ruin their lives. It's actually hilarious to sit back and watch women with such poor decision-making skills make mistake after mistake due to their own stupidity/low-self worth and subsequent "bad-boy" obsession.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Urban Sasquatch Also, listen to Fleetiebelle, at least partially. That's a good bit she just gave you there. Deluding yourself that you're a "nice guy" while trying to undo her bra strap = FAIL.
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Originally Posted by Drover
Plus that's a waste when you can get right in by being jerky.
Women go bra-less when dating jerks. They don't want their brassieres torn!
I think that intelligent women prefer nice guys. Unfortunately, there are a lot of men who pretend to be nice guys and then turn out to be real creeps, which makes women cautious.
And there are a lot of women who only think they are intelligent.
Why is it that the nice guys are always the second or third option for women? You would think that a person with most of the qualities that women preach about would be the first choice, it never happens like that. Can a woman explain this to me?
Best advise I can give you, unless you plan on finding a wife at church (which I did), drop the nice guy routine, tell it like it is, be slightly arrogant as a front, never be over confident in your head. Be realistic. Look out for number one which is you. When a woman asks you to buy her a drink, look at her like she is crazy. After all, since you have got what *she wants*, she should be buying you a drink.
Why is it that the nice guys are always the second or third option for women? You would think that a person with most of the qualities that women preach about would be the first choice, it never happens like that. Can a woman explain this to me?
Search the forum. There are countless threads on this subject. But to answer your question, the stereotype is that nice guys are boring and total pushovers. Not all of them are like that. Unfortunately, the ones who are have made it difficult for the remaining ones. The real problem with nice guys and the reason so many end up being a second or third choice is because women take them for granted and think they'll always be there. That means she can take a chance on the "bad boy" or the "jerk" and if it doesn't work out, the nice guy will still be around. Doesn't always happen. A lot of women discover that nice guy she left in the background found someone else, someone who appreciated him more. If you're one of those nice guys, my advice is not change who you are. Just don't turn into the stereotypical nice guy who lets women walk all over him.
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