Why don't men pursue women anymore? (dates, wife, movies, love)

[fleetiebelle]

How do you know you'll get rejected if you don't approach them? It's a cliche, you may not always win the game, but you'll never win if you don't play.

[recuerdeme]

Originally Posted by llratke

Why don't men pursue women anymore? Seems it only happens in the movies.

In my own experience, men will give me their phone numbers....and ask me to call them....and I'm 45 years old! This seems messed up.

Any comments gentlemen? Preferably men over 40 to answer please.

(not that the young guys can't answer this.....they don't seem to be the ones afraid....it's the older ones)

Either romance is gone, or by the time men are 40 romance has been beaten into the ground.

I'm more inclined to the think the former. Because young or old it's hard to find someone that is romantic and that will appreciate romance.

Now if you make grand gestures of love or try to persue you are coined obsessed or needy or something other.

Hmmm actually I think romance is dead for both sexes

[JBT1980]

Originally Posted by fleetiebelle

How do you know you'll get rejected if you don't approach them?

Im a realist..Plus ive heard what women have siad about my looks behind my back..

I know im not what women want

[TKramar]

Originally Posted by fleetiebelle

How do you know you'll get rejected if you don't approach them? It's a cliche, you may not always win the game, but you'll never win if you don't play.

You don't lose if you don't play either.

So, why not just go through life with the attitude, "If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, then so what?"?

[nichirenx]

Maybe this has already been said but 51 pages is a lot to read through.
Maybe they prefer women to at least put in equal effort in the approach.
The whole pursuit thing is a 'game' and 'power play' that puts more of the burden of
being impressive on the pursuer.

Then again maybe I do not know what I am talking about.

[nichirenx]

Originally Posted by TKramar

You don't lose if you don't play either.

Sums up the majority of my dating life after my marriage ended.

[green_mariner]

Originally Posted by JBT1980

Im a realist..Plus ive heard what women have siad about my looks behind my back..

I know im not what women want

You don't know what all women want. I don't even know what all women want.

[green_mariner]

Seeking out and pursuing women has become a luck of the draw. No one knows what all women want,so for that reason, no one knows what any individual woman wants. It is harder because in order to find a woman one likes, one has to find out what said woman likes.

[Ladywithafan]

Originally Posted by Onglet39

I can't answer that - I am very straight forward with men. If I mean yes, I say yes from the start. If I mean no, I will politely say so with a one sentence explanation.

I'll be 40 in a few months -- my no-means-yes days are long behind me. I don't have the luxury of spare time to jerk men around.

I just turned 48 on Sunday. I happen to look around 32-35. I've been divorced for 10 years with one 8 year relationship during the 10. I don't care how the phone number exchange goes. I have no idea how the world dates anymore but to me it seems like anything goes. My xhusband's 2nd wife went after him & got herself a doctor. Apparently, it really doesn't matter who chases who, just make the effort & cut the BS.

[JBT1980]

Originally Posted by pirate_lafitte

You don't know what all women want. I don't even know what all women want.

Of course not but im not prepared to get rejected by hundreds of women to hopefully finally get one who might be attracted to me or at least tolerate me physically me that i probably wont be attracted to